I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion
by Crittab
Summary: Bella Swan would like to think she truly hates Edward Cullen. Of course, that's what makes sex with him so damn fun. E/B, All Human, AU. Rated a hard M for Lemons. Complete. NEW: An outtake auctioned off in support of Haiti!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just make use of her characters in my twisted little games.

**I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion**

_BPOV_

I hate Edward Cullen. I absolutely loathe and despise him.

I hate the way he talks. He's pretentious. He talks down to people, and makes them feel like they're somehow unworthy of being in his presence.

I hate the way he walks. He has a swagger that makes the girls swoon, but not me. To me he just looks like he's seen a few too many bad music videos, and is attempting to walk like a pimped up celebrity... and failing.

I hate the way he smells. His scent lingers, and all it does is remind you that he was just there, invading your space with his massive ego. He smells like sex and bar soap, a combination that he knows makes it look like he doesn't try too hard. He's just 'got it'. Please.

I hate his completely untouchable confidence, and the fact that even though he knows I loathe him with such intensity, he's completely unfazed. It doesn't make one ounce of difference to him what people think of him. I really hate that.

So if you were to ask me— seeing as I hate Edward Cullen with such vigour—why I spent earlier tonight scaling the tree outside his bedroom with every intention of fucking him until he was begging for release, well... I suppose I'd just have to tell you the truth.

I fucking hate Edward Cullen, and that's what makes fucking him so damn good.

What makes it even better, is that he really hates me too.

Our situation is, to be quite honest, perfect. I hate him, and he hates me... but neither of us hate anything more than relationships, and both of us were born with a sick sense of ludicrous morality that makes us unable to fuck around.

So, we've been drawn to each other by our mutual hatred. I hate him, and I would never consider a relationship with such an asshole. He hates me, and I'm quite sure, he would avoid committing to me like he would avoid a run in with a ravenous vampire. For that reason, our arrangement is perfect.

We don't sleep around, since we're both, by nature, serial monogamists. So, rather than sleeping around or being in relationships, we are, instead, 100% monogamous with each other. And trust me when I tell you, the hate sex is incredible.

Friends with benefits, without the 'friends' part, or the awkward emotional attachment. What a perfect alternative to blue balls... or, well... blue ovaries.

The tree is tall, and I can't stand climbing it, but that itch downstairs had been irritating me all day—ever since the asshole showed up at school in those jeans that he knows make his ass look like candy, and a blue button up top with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his fantastic forearms... the ones that are so muscular, and lead to those fingers that are long, and slender, and create the most incredible sensations when they're buried deep inside of me.

Yes, the asshole had planned this when he got dressed this morning. I'm sure of it.

I finally reached the window, which was the only source of light coming from the massive Cullen household at the late hour. Of course, the Cullens would be rich as all hell. Why else would their son be king of the dipshits? His trust fund, I'm sure, ensures he'll never have to actually work a day in his life. I would have stopped by earlier, but I had a shift at my part time job... the one I go to after spending all day at school, which contributes a pittance to my barely-existent college fund.

Fucking asshole.

I knocked on his window, and could see that he hadn't yet been to bed. The bed was still made, and the covers were in perfect condition—no doubt because their maid had cleaned his filthy room after he left for school this morning in his ridiculously tacky sports car, dressed in sex clothes.

I could see him emerge from just out of view, no doubt admiring himself in the mirror on his vanity. He was still dressed in that damn blue button up top, with those snug jeans offering not just a wonderful view from behind, but from the front as well. He scowled at me as he pulled open the window and leaned on the ledge.

"What the fuck do you want?" he asked. He tone was desire laced with acid—it's a tone I recognize well. Likely, very close to the same sound coming out of me whenever I'm around him. I just rolled my eyes at his stupid question.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to invite me in?" I asked, hoping my tone wouldn't betray the depth of my desire. I hate making him feel like he has power over me. He stood there for a moment, arms crossed tightly across his chest, before he relented. He offered a hand, which I, of course, ignored, and I made my way through the open window, landing softly on the white plush rug that covers the expensive cherry wood floors.

I was barely out of my shoes before I was flung, face first, toward the bed. I caught myself on my hands, only to have my backside hoisted upwards and my ass palmed and squeezed relentlessly.

"Took you long enough. I almost went to bed," he moaned into my ear, pulling my head backward with a hand tangled in my hair. His voice was gritty, and I could feel his need pressing against my ass as his other hand held me in place while he used me as his own personal hump-toy. If I wasn't so horny, I would probably have been offended by his blatant disregard for our common formalities.

"I had to work," I explained, trying my best not to let him know how his desire and force were making me throb for him. His hand in my hair let go and he moved it to palm my breast, as he continued to grind hard against me. My head dropped down and I let myself momentarily succumb to the feelings of his hands on me. He really is incredibly talented with his hands.

He grunted and jerked into me a little harder, while both hands began to roam freely over my body. He pulled me up so I was standing in front of him with my back to him, and he groped me mercilessly through my green cotton top. I leaned back into him and pulled my arms over my head, wrapping them around the back of his neck as I revelled in the feeling. Feeling him at full length behind me, with his arms wrapped around me, and one hand beginning to venture south and dipping into my jeans, I could almost forget how desperately I hate him. Just for the moment. I'd hate him again later.

"What you want, Bella?" he repeated his question from earlier, this time in that gravelly voice in my ear, which combined with his hot breath to make my skin tingle. I moaned as his hand ventured under my shirt and bra, and he claimed my nipple between his fingers. He bucked against my back, and I knew what he wanted. This time, I decided to answer.

"Oh god," I moaned in a soft, breathy voice that barely sounded like my own, "Fuck me, Edward. Please." I hate that he makes me beg for him. He's such an asshole.

His hands both left their respective positions and joined together at the hem of my top, pulling it up and over my head. Not bothering with the clasp, he then pulled my bra over my head and flung it to join my shirt in the corner of the room. As I began to work the button on my pants, both of his hands returned to my breasts, palming them, and pinching my already hard nipples. His mouth claimed my neck, and I could feel him trying to mark me as he nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin there.

My fingers were like jello, making the button on my pants a difficult challenge. Edward growled in my ear, and his hands went to my pants, "Fuck, Bella, can't you do anything?" he asked. I tried really hard to be irritated, but as my pants and underwear joined together at my ankles, all I could think of was how desperately I wanted to taste him. I stepped out of the final articles of my clothing and kicked them away, before turning around to face him. I reached out and swiftly undid his pants and yanked them to the floor, underwear in tow. Rather than getting back to my feet, I settled onto my knees and took his rapidly growing erection into my hands, tugging it a couple of times.

"Yes," I said in response to his rude question. "As a matter of fact, I know something that I do really fucking well." His eyes widened in recognition of my intent as I leaned in and licked the precum off his tip. I kept my eyes trained on his, loving how worked up I can get him. King Shit brought down by the lowly Bella Swan. It's like something out of a fairytale.

I began to lick the length of his shaft, while he rapidly unbuttoned his top and flung it away, adding the final article to our pile of discarded clothes. He kept his eyes on mine the whole time, and I could see my desire reflected in the brilliant green orbs.

"Fuck Bella, suck it," he commanded. I grinned, knowing he could only take my teasing for so long. I know so well how this man works. He's so predictable. I continued to lick him for a moment longer, using one hand to pump the head, and the other to pull on his balls. I know he loves it when I multi-task on him. He can't seem to decide which feeling he wants to focus on.

Eventually, though, I conceded, and pull him into my mouth. My strokes were shallow at first, barely moving my lips past his head. He grunted and moaned my name, along with a few small 'fuck's' and 'shit's' along the way. Without warning, I plunged deeper, enjoying that my lack of a gag reflex still surprises him.

"Shit, Bella, so good," he moaned, taking my hair in his hands as he began to guide my face over him. When he started to pump in and out of my mouth, I pulled away, releasing him with a pop. I looked up and could see the desire in his eyes mingling with a new irritation. Rather than saying anything, I stood and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning us around, and seating him on the bed. I reclaimed my position on my knees and immediately took him back into my mouth. I didn't want to keep him waiting too long.

The new position allowed me to use gravity as leverage, and I was able to take him even deeper. He gasped audibly when his tip hit the back of my throat, and he involuntarily bucked upward. I pushed him down so he was laying on his back, and continued my ministrations from the floor. I knew he couldn't see me very well anymore, and I used that to my advantage, occasionally grabbing his balls tightly and tugging on them, or popping off and rubbing him hard with my hands. His reactions to my quick changes were all the satisfaction I needed. I love being able to fuck with him.

"Fuck, Bella. I'm gonna come," he groaned as his hands tangled hard in my hair and he began to pump upward into my mouth. He fucked my face hard for a moment before he exploded down my throat. I swallowed, not taking time to register the taste. It's easier that way.

He pulled my head away from his dick and encouraged me upward so I was off the floor, and on the bed straddling him. Without a word, he pulled my head to his and kissed me deeply, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I knew he could taste himself on me, and I knew he liked it. What can I say? The guy truly loves himself.

He rolled us over so he was resting on his elbow beside me. All the while, he continued to kiss me hard, undoubtedly bruising my lips with his hard nips and sucks.

"God, Bella," he said softly, moving down to pepper my throat with kisses and nips, while his hand that wasn't supporting his weight started palming my right breast. Eventually his head moved further down and he took my other nipple into his mouth. He knows just how to lick, suck, and bite to make me moan.

"I love the sounds you make," he mumbled against my breast. Fuck him.

After a few moments of ravishing my breasts, his hand ventured south. It wasn't another moment before he spread my wet folds with his fingers, and rubbed my clit, eliciting a moan. Finally, he was touching me where I need it the most; where I'd needed him all fucking day. His head left my breast, and he pulled away from me entirely. Claiming my old seat on the floor, he grasped my knees and yanked me down to the end of the bed so my butt was at the edge. He spread my legs wide and I hitched one foot against his bedside table, and the other on the edge of the bed.

I felt his fingers slowly rubbing up and down me again, pinching my clit between his thumb and forefinger, before moving down to where I needed him the most. I could hear my juices inviting him in as he stuck two fingers into me slowly.

"You're so wet," he said, making me blush. He does that on purpose. He loves to embarrass me. I couldn't bother with that at the time, though, because in addition to his fingers, he had begun to lick my clit furiously. I know I mentioned his fingers, but did I also mention that he's very talented with his tongue?

Most coherent thoughts left my head as I gave myself over to the sensations he was creating with his hands and mouth. He sucked, licked, and nipped at my clit, while his fingers worked up the most incredible burn inside of me. He knew exactly where to go immediately. The man could write the map to my vagina.

I felt that familiar tingle begin to work its way from my core outwards, not stopping until it hit the tips of my fingers and toes. He started to pump faster. My intensifying moans had tipped him off to how close I was.

"Come for me, Bella," his voice was a gritty command, and I couldn't help but obey. The spark inside of me ignited, and in a burst of flames, I could feel myself climaxing in time to his thrusting fingers. He milked me until I was spent, and lapped at my folds until I was no longer dripping. When my vision returned in full, he was standing, stroking himself as he watched me.

"Fuck Edward," I said softly, not able to form another coherent thought.

"I need to fuck you, Bella," he said, his pace on his dick speeding up. "Right now."

Without another word, he yanked me up and set both of my feet on the ground, while I braced myself against the bed. Just like that, we were right back to where we had started—only this time we were naked, and his stiff shaft was stoking me, quickly becoming coated in my juices. In a swift manoeuvre, he entered me completely, taking me off guard. I cried out at the sensation, and pressed back into him, willing it to never end.

In another swift movement, he pulled out of me completely, leaving me feeling totally empty.

"God, Edward. Please," I begged again. I heard him chuckle darkly behind me, and it sent a thrill of need through me. He entered me again, this time slower, as he took his time fully encasing himself within me. His slow movement made me want to throw him down and ride him hard and fast, just so he wouldn't get what he wanted, but I couldn't deny that his slow torture felt unbelievable. He fit so perfectly into me that I almost allowed myself to think that this union was right.

As soon as he was fully inside of me again, he pulled out again. My frustration was building and I growled back at him. He laughed at me again. God, I hate that he can make me so needy. Just as I was about to take matters into my own hands, he plunged hard into me, and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me up to him, wrapping one arm around my waist to hold me there.

My back was arched in a way that was almost painful, and my hair was straining at the roots, but I couldn't feel anything other than his hard member inside of me, and his hot breath on my ear.

"How do you want it, Bella?" he asked. His voice was so dark, it was almost menacing. It made me so fucking hot. He pulled back and thrusted hard into me again, making me cry out. "Do you want it hard, Bella?" he asked. I grinded my ass into him, and groaned at the sensation.

"God, yes, Edward. Fuck me," I moaned. He nipped my ear.

"Fuck you how, Bella?" He thrusted again.

"Hard," my voice was barely a moan. "Hard, now!" I bucked back into him, and he released my hair and the arm around my waist, making me fall forward. I caught myself again on my hands, and barely got my bearings before he pulled out completely again.

My complaints were stopped before they could start when he forcefully entered me again. Both of his hands grasped my hips tightly and pull me back against him in time with his thrusts, and his hips made the most delightful slapping sound against my ass. I could feel his balls slapping against my clit, and the combination of sensations almost sent me over the edge.

It's always a competition with Edward, though. A competition to see who comes first, to see who wants it more, to see who can fuck harder, and who can fuck longer.

As his thrusts sped up and became harder, I bucked back into him. His grasp on my hips was so hard, I'm sure I'll be bruised in the morning, but I didn't care. All I cared about was that I was being thoroughly fucked, and I couldn't remember ever needing it so badly before.

Without warning he pulled out again and roughly turned me around, throwing me back onto the bed. Quickly, he followed, and placed himself between my legs, thrusting hard into me again. This time I could see his face, and his desire, and it only served to heighten my own. His eyes were dark, and they bore into my own as he fucked me. A sheen of sweat formed between us, making us slick. He moved his head down and began to bite and suck on my ear, my neck, my mouth, wherever he could get to.

He locked his mouth against mine and kissed me so hard I became dizzy with the intensity. I tangled my fingers in his hair, and locked my legs around his waist, unwilling to let him move away from me.

I have my moments of possessiveness with Edward.

He slowed a bit, and I knew that the fast pace he had set was nearly impossible to maintain. Without a word, I flipped us over and began to ride him quickly. His hands roamed over my body, as though he couldn't decide where he wanted to touch, and he couldn't begin to get enough. His hands eventually settled on my hips, and he guided me over him with harsh, needy movements. His knees came up behind me, and he lifted me off of him a bit so he could thrust upward into me.

This new feeling made me begin to lose it, and I couldn't help but cry out as he hit me hard and deep, and at just the right angle. I could feel my climax growing, and I was sure I couldn't take it much longer.

Sensing how close I was, Edward sat up and pulled me flush against him, kissing me fully as I continued to ride him in this new position. I grasped at his shoulders, his back, his hair, anywhere I could get to, just needing to grab something as my orgasm began to build.

"Fuck, Edward!" I cried out as I was overtaken by my second climax of the night. My nails dug hard into the skin of his shoulders, and I knew that he would be left with marks.

"Oh Bella," he cried, one arm wrapping tightly around my waste, pounding me down onto him, while the other entangled itself in my hair. He pulled me to him and kissed me forcefully as his own orgasm claimed him. I could feel him emptying into me, and his hot cum began to spill out from where we were still joined.

Our movements began to slow, but didn't completely stop as we each came down from our high. I couldn't stop moving against him, all I wanted was to feel him inside of me. It's the best feeling.

I rested my forehead against his as we both attempt to get our breathing under control. He still had one hand tangled in my hair, and his other hand had found my own, entwining our fingers and bringing them to his chest.

I considered for a moment that this position was far too intimate for our typical post-coital bitchfest, but I couldn't bring myself to move. In that moment, his eyes were boring into mine with intensity, and for the first time, I could see satisfaction mingling with something other than irritation. He looked happy. Complete. I wondered if my eyes were showing the same feeling.

"Bella," his voice was barely a whisper. I swallow hard, willing this moment of mutual contentment not to end too soon. I knew that tomorrow we'd hate each other again, but for that moment, that was the last thing I wanted. I leaned forward and captured his mouth with my own. For the first time, the kiss was soft, sweet, searching. All of our previous kisses had been in the heat of the moment, but this one was entirely different. It was real. Too real.

I pulled away from him reluctantly, not because I wanted the kiss to end, but because I thought it needed to. I swallowed hard and got up, finally allowing him to fall out of me, limply.

"I need to get home," I said, racing across the room to gather my clothes. He sat on the bed watching me dress, and when I ventured a glance in his direction, I could see that he looked disappointed. I was too, though I couldn't really understand why. We had just had mind blowing, multi-orgasmic sex. Why would I feel anything other than complete and total satisfaction?

When I finished dressing, I raced over to the still open window and swung a leg over, hoping to make a quick exit. His voice stopped me.

"I don't think we should do this anymore," he said. He looked sad.

"Why not?" I asked, although I knew the answer. We hate each other. That moment should not have happened. He just shrugged and looked down, toying with the material of his comforter.

"I just don't know if it's a good idea anymore," he said. He raised his eyes and looked at me, and I could see a hint of pain inside of them. "We hate each other, right?" I bit my lip and nodded slowly, ignoring the pang in my chest.

"Right," I confirmed. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"Then don't come back," he said, his voice sounding like an incompatible mix of indecision and assurance. I nodded and pulled myself the rest of the way out the window and into the tree. I didn't want him to see the tears that had started to accumulate in my eyes. I shouldn't have been upset. We don't mean anything to each other. We hate each other.

Just as I began to climb down, I heard his voice again. I didn't look back, but I stopped to listen.

"Hey Bella?" he called from his bed.

"What?" I responded. My tone was clipped. I didn't want my emotions to betray me and let him know how bad I was feeling. There was silence for a moment. I could hear him sigh heavily, and I chanced a glance back. He looked back at me, his eyes showing all of the sadness that I felt.

"Get home safe," he said. It's not what he intended to say, I'm sure, but I didn't want to press him on it. Instead, I just nodded and continued my descent down the tree.

As I pulled myself into my car parked halfway down the street, I let a few of the traitor tears fall, and I gripped the steering wheel tightly.

I hate Edward Cullen. It's a shame I love him so damn much.

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews are like an orgasm after a really long dry spell.


	2. The Beginning

_BPOV_

To understand the present, it is important that you first understand the past. My hatred for Edward Cullen was not instantaneous. In fact, he and I were nearly inseparable for the majority of our younger years.

Edward was there for my first crush, the first tooth I lost, my first date. He was there, and he was unfailingly supportive of me in every circumstance. The same could be said for me. I was there for almost all of his firsts too, and I never judged him for it. He was always my best friend, and nothing, I was sure, could have ever changed that.

It happened on the first day of high school. Edward and I had spent the summer apart for the first time since we had met. His parents had insisted on spending the summer with his relatives in Chicago, and I was left utterly alone.

Typically, our summers would have been spent lounging together on La Push beach, reading books, and exploring the vast wilderness that entirely surrounds Forks. Honestly, having Edward around was the only reason that life in Forks was bearable at all. The town was practically deserted, and during the summer, without school, there was next to nothing left to occupy our time. So, Edward got creative, and dragged me along with him on all of his adventures.

This made my summers from 5 to 14 incredible. We explored, we learned about everything, it was always an adventure, and it was always so much fun to share it with my best friend. We made discoveries, and we shared the excitement. He was always so much fun to be around.

Then that summer happened, the one right before high school. I don't blame him for leaving. It wasn't his choice, and I know that his parents were never very supportive of our friendship to begin with. They had a bit of a snobbish distaste for my family, and they had hoped to keep Edward away from those of us who lived in a lower tax bracket.

That summer had started out miserably. I didn't know what to do with myself, and I wound up spending the first half of July living like a blob, spending half the day in bed, and the other on the couch with a bag of potato chips, watching soaps. I hate soaps, just to be clear. I just didn't have anything to do.

One day, though, in mid July, the sun was out, which is uncharacteristic of Forks. I decided I couldn't just sit there like a blob on the most beautiful day I had seen in months, so I decided to go to La Push beach. Edward wouldn't want me wasting my summer, so why would I ignore the beck and call of the cool ocean on such a beautiful day?

My dad brought me to the beach, dropping me off on his way to his old friend's house. His friend, Billy Black, had recently found himself in a wheelchair following a car accident, and my dad had taken to spending as much free time with him as possible.

As I stepped out onto the beach, it was like all of the heaviness in my heart from Edward's absence lifted. It was a beautiful, clear, warm day, and the water was crystal clear. All I wanted to was to run into the Pacific, and never emerge again.

So I stripped off my clothes, leaving on my blue one-piece suit, and I dashed for the water. It was so inviting, it made every nerve ending feel alive. It was refreshingly cool in contrast to the heat of the summer afternoon, and I thought I could spend eternity there and never tire of it.

Well, I suppose this is the part where I impart a little advice: never go swimming without a buddy.

As wonderful and inviting as the water was, it didn't really cross my mind that it was about time for the tide to come in, and I was standing at the mouth of the largest body of water on the planet. I was caught off guard when a massive wave rushed me, and swept my feet out from under me. My memory is hazy from that point, and I don't remember anything else before waking up, moments later, battered, bruised, and on the rocks on shore.

It took me a few moments to gather myself, but when I finally did, I realized that I was not alone. Sitting patiently beside me was a boy, about my age. He had the most beautiful russet skin, and a sheath of black hair that skirted just below his shoulders. His eyes were a beautiful dark brown, almost black, and they displayed his concern clearly. I recognized him, though I couldn't immediately place him.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I tried to answer, but choked a bit on the salt water that I hadn't realized was still in my mouth. After a moment, I got my bearings and responded.

"I think so," I said, allowing him to help me into a seated position. He let me lean on him as I adjusted to my surroundings. "What happened?" I asked. He stood, and pulled me to my feet, helping me brush off some of the dirt that had settled on my skin.

"You got caught in a riptide," he explained, holding me by the arms to steady me. "I saw you get pulled under. I came as quick as I could." His voice was soft and concerned.

"Thanks, geez," I said, shaking off the last of my dizziness. He was patient with me while I pulled myself together.

"Maybe we should get you back to my house. Your dad's there," he said, his hands not leaving my arms. I was thankful for the support, but confused by the statement.

"My dad?" I asked. He nodded.

"You're Bella Swan, right?" I nodded my confirmation. "I'm Jacob Black, Billy's son. Your dad mentioned that you were here." I understood then, and was thankful that he had chosen to come and find me. It gave me a chill to think of what could have happened if he hadn't.

He began to lead me back to his house, and after a few moments, conversation began to flow easily. He was very sweet, and very concerned about me. It was nice to know that someone actually cared.

I ended up spending the majority of the rest of the summer out at La Push with Jacob. We became easy friends, and it was always a joy to be around him. He was like a sunbeam, always smiling, always able to make me smile, regardless of my prior mood. He brought out the best in me. It was because of this that I had no qualms agreeing to become his girlfriend.

We had only known each other a few weeks at that point, but everything had been perfect. We spent as much time together as was feasible, and we just didn't want to be around anyone else. Sure, I missed Edward, and we talked on the phone nearly every night, but there was nothing quite like having Jacob. He was there, he was available, and he was special. I'm not quite sure what it was that kept me from telling Edward about Jacob. Maybe I was afraid he would be jealous, or that he wouldn't approve. Either way, I would come to regret the decision to keep my new relationship a secret.

It was about mid-August when Jacob and I had sex for the first time. I was a wonderful experience, and I felt like it was the absolute perfect first time for me. It was slow, and sweet, and Jacob was so loving. It made me melt, and I immediately fell in love... not with Jacob, but with sex. Jacob was wonderful, and I cared about him immensely, but I always felt there was something keeping me from giving my whole heart to him, although I couldn't pinpoint what that was.

Jacob and I spent the rest of the summer out at the beach. Each day had the same series of events: up before dawn, to La Push for breakfast, making love with Jacob, having a picnic on the beach, making love again, dinner, making love again, and then heading home. Jacob had unknowingly created a sex-crazed monster within me, not that he was complaining. He was certainly benefiting from our deal.

It was two days before school started that Edward finally came home, and I couldn't have been more happy to see him, although I was extremely nervous about telling him about my relationship with Jacob. When he left, I had been a virgin. Hell, when he left, I had never been kissed. It would be incredibly difficult to break it to him that I was none of those things anymore.

So I waited. We spent the day together when he got back, talking and catching up. He knew I spent most of the summer at the beach, and that I had made a new friend, but as far as he knew, that friend's name was Jillian, and she was here for just the summer with her parents. I don't know what compelled me to lie. I was just afraid.

So, needless to say, Edward was angry with me when he found out the truth. It was his second night back, and Edward called my cell phone while Jacob and I were together. We were right in the middle of discarding our last articles of clothing when my phone rang. Fearing it was my father, I opted to answer it, breathless. When Edward questioned me about why I was panting, I made up a lie about running around with Jillian.

Unfortunately, I hadn't explained my little fib to Jacob.

"Jillian?" he asked. "Who's Jillian?"

I was busted.

Edward heard his voice on the line, and suddenly, my lie was out in the open.

That was the first time I had ever fought with Edward. He hung up on me, still so very angry, and refused to answer my calls again that night.

Unfortunately, the situation didn't sit well with Jacob either. Rather than trying to understand why I had lied to Edward, Jacob was convinced that I had lied because I had feelings for Edward, and didn't want to "lose the opportunity," as he so delicately put it.

Summer be damned, Jacob dumped me on the spot. I felt oddly empty when I went home that evening. I couldn't understand why I was so sad. We had only dated for a month and a half.

The next day was the first day of high school, and it was always meant to be shared by me and Edward. We were supposed to face the new chapter together, us against the world. This wasn't the case though.

When I got off the school bus that first day, I spotted Edward immediately. Rather than being greeted by his beautiful smile, I was instead greeted with a scowl, a shake of the head, and his back as he walked away from me. It hurt so much, and I didn't know what to do. Edward had always been my friend, I never figured that I needed more.

So I embarked on that first day of high school utterly alone. I figured Edward would forgive me eventually, so I tried not to let it bother me. Of course, that didn't work out too well, especially not when I walked into the cafeteria at lunch that day to find him locked in a heated kiss with a girl I had never seen before.

Okay, so I'm a bit of a hothead, in case you haven't already noticed.

I marched over to Edward, silent treatment be damned. I yanked him away from the tramp (why was I reacting so harshly to her?) and forced him to face me.

"What the Hell, Bella?" he asked, his face flushing with both anger and embarrassment.

"My sentiments exactly!" I shot back, gesturing wildly toward the blond. "Care to share?"

Edward looked mortified that I had caught him with the girl. It wasn't so much that I had caught him, seeing as we weren't dating, and he had every right to be kissing whoever the hell he wanted, but it was more so that he was kissing some girl after berating me for 20 minutes on the phone because I had been dating someone without telling him. He was fully aware of his hypocrisy.

"What is this, Edward?" the blond cried. She looked at me, and had venom in her eyes, "Who the fuck are you?" I just rolled my eyes.

"I guess I'm not the only one with a secret, hey Eddie?" I asked. He hates being called Eddie, always has. He rolled his eyes.

"It's not the same thing," he said indignantly. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. He fumbled for his words for a moment before settling on, "You lied to me!"

"And you didn't lie to me?" I cried. He shook his head.

"I didn't say I was hanging with some guy named Joe back in Chicago, Bella." I shook my head.

"You also didn't tell me you were eating someone's face in Chicago. Who the hell is this?" I demanded. The girl just stood there, looking between us, infuriated and bemused.

"I'm his girlfriend," she said, answering for him. Edward bit his lip as his gaze began to burn a hole in the floor. Busted.

"Really? His girlfriend?" I asked, my tone changing to sickeningly sweet. "Tell me, girlfriend, how long have you guys been dating?" She rolled her eyes and looked at Edward, who still refused to meet either of our gazes, before answering me.

"All summer. We're family friends, and since we were moving here, Edward asked me to date him." Her voice was smug. I could tell she thought I had some sort of feelings for Edward. I wondered if he had even mentioned me to her. I could feel my blood boil. Edward Cullen was a lot of things, but I never took him for a hypocrite. I just shook my head angrily and threw him one last cold glare before storming in the opposite direction. I didn't recognize this side of Edward, and I didn't want to have any part of it.

I had made it outside before I felt myself being jerked back by my arm.

"Fuck off!" I yelled, yanking my arm away. Edward's grip loosened, but he didn't let go.

"What the Hell is your problem, Bella?" he questioned. His tone was one he had never used with me. He sounded livid.

"What's my problem? Fuck, Edward! You're such a fucking hypocrite! You got SO angry with me because I lied to you, meanwhile you were doing the exact same thing!" I couldn't keep my voice down any longer. I was incensed.

"Oh, give it a fucking rest, Bella. My relationship with Tanya is nothing like yours. I care about her," he exclaimed. I was stopped in my tracks. I looked up at him, and I'm sure the term 'if looks could kill' was right at the tip of his I responded, my voice was eerily calm.

"You know nothing about my relationship, Edward Cullen." He looked taken aback. He stepped back from me, letting go of my arm. "In fact, you know nothing about me. "

It was with that, that I burst away from him, running away from the school and into the woods. Maybe I was a tad dramatic, looking back on it now, but at the time I couldn't think of anything else to do. When that summer had started, I'd had no idea that by the time it ended, Edward and I would no longer be friends.

Edward's relationship with Tanya was the reason he and I lost our friendship. I expected that after a couple of days, he would come and beg for my forgiveness, seeing as he had been the one at fault. But that never happened.

At school, I couldn't walk by Tanya without receiving dirty looks, and the one time I tried to talk to him, she intervened. She told him not to talk to me, and, in a move that shocked me, he complied. He had made his decision. He chose her over me, and never looked back.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Well, folks... ask and you shall receive. I was so blown away by the response to this fic, and I can't tell you how happy the reviews made me. So, I decided to give you what you want, a few more chapters. There are at least two more chapters coming after this, possibly more. Keep checking back for updates. I'll try to make them quick.

Thanks so much guys. And, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated.


	3. The Arrangement

_BPOV_

So, you're probably wondering how it came to be that Edward and I would strike a deal like the one we have. Considering how thoroughly we hated each other after the events of that summer, it would probably have been much easier just to go our separate ways and leave each other alone.

Well, we did. For a while, at least.

Freshman year was Edward's year. He was made a starter on the school's soccer team, he had some of the best grades in our class, and to top it off, he was dating the most hideously beautiful girl that Forks had ever seen. Furthermore, as the girl in question so loved to share, he was getting laid like a porn star.

Tanya and Edward spent the majority of that year together. You could rarely walk through the hallways at school without being bombarded by their heinous public displays of affection. It was disgusting, and I could have lived my entire life happy without seeing that.

It was April of that year when Edward broke up with Tanya. He had caught her cheating with his soccer buddy, Mike Newton. Newton was a slime ball, and everyone knew it. He and Tanya were perfect for one another.

Edward seemed to take the break up in stride. He constantly had girls hanging off of him, who bragged about their many sexual exploits. He quickly became the school Lethario, banging every willing girl in sight—and there were plenty of willing girls. Edward was... is... a stunning male specimen. He has a sculpted jaw, always the faintest five-o'clock shadow, emerald green eyes, incredible bronze sex-hair, and a lean 6'2 frame to top it off. He's every girl's dream, the man you would envision when reading romance novels. Of course, he had no lack of options in the school's dating pool.

Regardless of his appearance though, I have to admit, it surprised me to hear that he had become such a manwhore. The Edward I knew was shy, unaware of himself, and, by all standards, a 'good boy'. He had told me on several occasions that he wanted to wait to have sex, and that he was totally against casual sex. I agreed with him, which is the only reason my reputation did not match his.

After Jacob, I longed for sex. I needed it. I had been given a taste, and I just couldn't stand not having it. Unfortunately, though, I didn't have a boyfriend, and I couldn't justify being promiscuous.

Freshman year ended, and the summer after it came and went, and before long, we were into our sophomore year. Edward was still single, and the stories of his sexcapades were still running rampant. In fact, they had multiplied after that summer, it was incredible. I was sure he had to be a walking STD at that point.

A couple of weeks into sophomore year, there was a massive party. A girl named Rosalie Hale threw it at her parents house while they were out of town. Rosalie was the perfect female specimen, Tanya notwithstanding. Over the summer, Mike had knocked Tanya up, and the two dropped out of school. I tried to feel bad for her, but just couldn't.

I'm not sure what compelled me to go to Rosalie's party. She wasn't my friend, and I certainly wasn't into the binge drinking, party scene. But it was a Saturday night, and I was bored, and my parents were away. I figured it couldn't hurt to check it out.

So, with my newly acquired license and my dad's red truck, I motored over to Rosalie's house and decided to try to have a good time. I had no intention of staying late, or drinking. I was mostly just curious.

The beginning of the night turned out to be pretty fun. I met a few nice people, Alice Brandon, a perky freshman who could drink her weight in Bacardi, and her boyfriend Jasper Whitlock, who was a year ahead of me. They were a sweet couple, and took me under their wing for the first part of the night.

Alice got me doing shots, and I couldn't deny that the night was turning out better than anticipated. They even introduced me to a guy who seemed really nice. His name was Tyler Crowley—he was handsome, though, I had to admit, he was no Edward or Jacob.

Tyler and I spent about an hour getting to know each other over drinks. By 11:30 that evening, I was halfway drunk, and I think Tyler was already there. It was then that he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs.

It had been a little over a year since I had had sex, and I couldn't deny that I was craving it desperately. Jacob had left me not only with a small hole in my heart from his loss, but also without the physical release that I had become accustomed to. I knew it was something that I would regret, but in my drunken state, I couldn't find it within me to refuse.

I woke up the next morning naked in an unfamiliar bed, alone, with a pounding headache, and an uncomfortable stickiness between my thighs. Immediately my heart sank in my chest, and I felt awful for what I had done. Despite my headache, I dressed as quickly as I could, and made my escape.

Crawling over the bodies of several passed out classmates, I couldn't help but feel like they would all judge me later. They would all know that I went upstairs with Tyler. They would all know that I was the slut of the party.

God. The slut? Really? Was that me?

The thought felt like a stabbing in my gut. I couldn't believe I had done something so stupid, that I knew I was morally opposed to. It hurt. I had hurt myself. How could I have done something like that?

I spent the next few weeks in a funk. After my first time having sex with Jacob, I had been so happy, felt so complete. I assumed that this would be the case every time. I hadn't expected to feel so empty following sex. I was unprepared.

As I walked around school, I felt like everyone's eyes were on me. Tyler Crowley would look at me, but wouldn't dare say a word. The only people who would talk to me were my new friends Alice and Jasper, who couldn't seem to find anything wrong with my actions at the party. I appreciated their support, but I just couldn't find that confidence within myself.

The problem was, I still wanted sex. In fact, even though my last experience with it had been so negative, all it had done was make me want it more. I felt like I was going to go insane if I didn't just get some, and soon. But I was determined to wait until I was in a relationship. I couldn't let myself feel that way again. I couldn't feel like a whore—it was just the worst feeling I could imagine.

So I waited, and waited, and waited some more. It was Easter of that year before I had sex again, and that time, it was vastly different.

With Easter came a slew of parties. Some big, some small, all with a host of liquor choices, and the perfect fodder for bad decision making. I didn`t have any intentions of going to these parties, but I let Alice drag me to one. I had become her wing-man. Even though she was in a committed relationship, she still needed her friend at her side, to go to the bathroom with her, to scope out guys she would never touch, and to hold her hair while she threw up. Alice was a bit of a party animal.

This one party wasn't very different from the last one I had attended. Again, it was being thrown by Rosalie Hale, but this time it took place in her boyfriend, Emmett McCarthy's house. Emmett was a massive man. He was a senior, and the captain of the football and rugby teams. He was also in the school choir, though he didn't like to admit it. I had only spoken to Emmett a handful of times, but he seemed like a nice guy—much nicer than Rosalie. She was a venomous creature who frightened me to the depths of my soul. I wasn't entirely sure how Emmett put up with her.

The party was in full swing by the time Alice, Jasper and I arrived. Music could be heard blocks away, and I was sure that the cops would be called if they didn't turn it down.

Alice quickly made her way to the refreshments table, while I scoped out the house. I wasn't terribly interested in being there, and I was hoping to find a quiet corner where I could pull out my copy of Jane Eyre, and ignore the debauchery all around me.

I settled for sitting on the deck. It was a chilly night, but it was the quietest place I could find. No one else was out there, and the deck chairs looked comfy. I settled in and began to read.

I managed to maintain my solitude for about 20 minutes before I heard shouting coming from the other side of the door. I would have ignored it, but the members of the heated discussion caught my attention.

"Fuck off, Lauren," he yelled. I turned and could see through the glass window Edward yanking his arm out of the freshman's grasp. She was a small little thing, dressed in a skirt so short it should be illegal, and a tube top. She was obviously drunk, and slurring her words as she fought to keep her hold on him.

"Come on, Edward," she cried, grasping for him as he continued to try to move away from her. "You've fucked everyone else here, why not me?" I could see that she was tearing up. Stupid, drunk, emotional freshman.

But, I could see her point. Why not her? She was pretty, I suppose, if you wiped off a couple of layers of makeup. But Edward had slept with worse, according to the rumours. I'm sure she wasn't below his standards.

"I'm not going to sleep with you. You're drunk," he stated. His tone was very final. I was surprised that he appeared to have some morals intact. Sure, he'll fuck anything that moves, just so long as it isn't saturated in alcohol.

"I'm not drunk!" she whined, although her pronunciation of the word "drunk" as "dwunk" sort of proved otherwise. I giggled a little to myself. It was a pathetic display.

"Just back off," he said, pulling away from her finally. I could see her dissolve into tears, and sink into the arms of another willing participant, while Edward jerked away from the situation and yanked open the patio door, slamming it shut behind him.

It was clear that he didn't notice me. He moved swiftly to the railing and peered over the edge intently.

I let him stay like that for a moment. I hadn't spoken a word to him in well over a year, what on earth could I say? I hated him. I didn't have anything nice to say.

"This spot's taken," I said, my voice slicing through the cool April air. He startled and looked back at me. His eyes turned from surprise to irritation immediately upon seeing me. It was nice to know I hadn't been forgotten.

"Go to Hell," he said. His tone didn't match his words, though. He sounded sad. I almost felt bad for him.

"After you," I countered. My inflection also didn't match my words. I had no intention of fighting with Edward. He wasn't worth the trouble.

There was a moment of silence between us, before I spoke again. Sure, he seemed upset, but I didn't really care.

"So what's wrong with Lauren Mallory? She seems like your type," I asked, flippantly, my eyes refocusing on my book. He rolled his eyes and fell into the deck chair beside me.

"Like you know anything about my type," he said. His voice was low, but the irritation was still apparent. He wasn't working very hard to make this a civil conversation, so why should I?

"I thought human with boobs and an ass was your type. I guess I was mistaken." I continued to focus on my book, but he sat up quickly and grabbed it from me, flinging into the ground. "What the fuck, Cullen?" He looked so angry, I almost didn't recognize him.

"You don't know a damn fucking thing about me, Bella. Don't pretend for a second that you do," he exclaimed. I was taken aback. I didn't know how to respond.

"Oh, please, Edward. Everyone with ears knows about you," I countered. It wasn't the greatest argument, but I had to say something. He just shook his head angrily.

"Everyone with ears needs to mind their own fucking business," he said, smouldering. He looked right at me as he said it, clearly indicating that the 'everyone' to which he referred was 'me'. I bit my lip and sighed. I really didn't want to fight with him. This was not how I intended to spend the night.

"You're right. Sorry." I wasn't sorry. Why should I be? He was the asshole with a superiority complex. He visibly deflated with my apology, and dropped his head into his hands.

Silence again.

I wasn't aware that a conversation could ever feel this uncomfortable.

"Look..." he said, after a few moments. He seemed to search for the words. "I'm sorry I yelled," he said softly. I bit my lip again, a habit I had always had. It was a nervous impulse. "I just... I just wish people would mind their own business. Stop believing everything they hear." I chuckled lightly at that. Not believe what we hear about Edward? What had he ever done to refute those rumours?

"So what are we supposed to believe, Edward? Enlighten me." He sighed heavily and sank down into the chair.

"Fuck, Bella. I don't care. Just, believe whatever you want. It doesn't matter." He looked defeated, and I kind of felt for him. He seemed like he was going through something, and my natural impulse with Edward was to help him through it. It's hard to untrain yourself after nine years of devotion. I sighed and turned toward him.

"There are a lot of rumours," I said softly. He nodded.

"I know."

"Aren't they true?" he bit his lip. I wondered if he learned that habit from me. Slowly, after a moment of contemplation, he shook his head.

"Nope." His response was simple, but that one syllable threw me for a loop. Nope? Nope, he hadn't slept with nearly every girl in our grade? Nope, he wasn't a manwhore? Nope to what?

"So, what is the truth then?" I was too curious to leave it alone. He looked at me with confusion.

"Why do you care?" I shrugged.

"Morbid curiosity." He laughed lightly. It was the first time he'd laughed at something I said since that summer. It felt really good.

"Yea, I guess I'd be curious too." He didn't answer my question, but I kind of got the hint. There was still a bit of my Edward in there somewhere. I had a feeling he wasn't entirely as the rumours had painted him to be.

"So, all the girls....?" I asked, letting my sentence drop off. He shrugged.

"There's only been one girl," he said softly. I nodded, contemplating this. Just Tanya? Really? That meant he, Edward Cullen, sex God of Forks High, hadn't had sex in almost a year. I was intrigued.

"So it's been..." I began.

"A really long time," he finished for me. I laughed lightly. We used to be able to finish each others sentences. You know, before we hated each other.

Another silence passed between us. It was calmer this time, there seemed to be less animosity. After a moment, he spoke up.

"What about you?" he asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you care?" I threw his words back at him. He grinned a lazy, crooked grin that reminded me of the old days.

"Morbid curiosity," he said. It was my turn to laugh, and I shook my head. Why was I telling him this? Why would I even consider trusting this asshole with this information?

"There have been two," I told him. He looked surprised by this.

"I didn't know you had dated someone after that guy," he said. I frowned.

"Jacob," I corrected. "That guy was Jacob, and I haven't." I didn't really want to tell Edward about that horrible night with Tyler. I didn't know what he would think of me. The idea that I was now more of a whore than Edward Cullen really didn't sit well with me.

Edward raised his eyebrow, and put two and two together. He chuckled humourlessly.

"Captain morality," he said with a shake of his head. "And you were just here trying to make me feel bad for sleeping around." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't start. You don't know anything about it, or about me," I said, hoping to effectively end that conversation. He raised an eyebrow.

"Awfully defensive there, Swan." I shook my head.

"It was a mistake, leave it alone." I barked the command, and he seemed to understand. He backed off and nodded slowly.

"Sorry." I sighed, calming down a bit. He didn't want to make this uncomfortable. I was happy for that.

"No, it's alright. You're right, I was being a bit of a hypocrite." My own words reminded me of why I hated Edward so much, and in that moment, I felt a flare of anger. I held it down, not wanting to ruin a perfectly nice moment with the past. It wasn't necessary.

"So it's been a while for you, too." His statement was the last thing I expected to hear. I don't know what I thought he would say, but this was not it. I laughed lightly from the surprise.

"Yea, I guess you can say that." He grinned lightly.

"Well, at least I'm not alone there."

I contemplated this for a moment. He was right, it had been a long time. A really long time. And God, I missed it. I missed sex every day. It consumed so many of my thoughts that I was sure I was addicted to it, even though I wasn't getting it.

I had to know.

"Do you miss it?" I asked. He looked at me questioningly. "Sex." I clarified. He looked taken aback, and it took a moment for him to respond.

"Umm..." it was unusual for Edward to stumble over his words. Confidence was his forte. "Yea, I guess I do." He finally completed. I nodded. He trained his eyes squarely on his hands, "Do you?" he asked, nervously. I laughed and nodded.

"Fuck, yes." My answer was a bit more exuberant than I intended, but it did make him laugh. Another moment passed. I felt like our conversation was in slow motion. We didn't know how to carry on with each other like we used to. Our friendship had ended, and along with it, the ease of conversation.

"I just don't know what to do about it, you know?" I said. He looked at me, searching for some clue as to what on earth I was talking about. "Still on the topic of sex, here," I clarified.

"What do you mean you don't know what to do about it?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I guess... I just... I want it, you know? I really do. But I can't seem to get it." He raked his eyes over my body in an appreciative way that made me mildly uncomfortable, and unbearably hot.

What? Hot? That's a new reaction to Edward. Where did that come from?

"I think you could get it," he said after his appraisal. I'm sure I flushed a million different shades of red. Damn my body.

"Uhh... thanks." I decided to backpedal a bit, "I don't mean that though. I just mean, I'm not comfortable sleeping around. But God, after breaking up with Jake, I just haven't wanted a relationship. The way things ended, I just don't want to go back there." Edward nodded his understanding.

"Trust me, I know exactly what you mean," he said. "Tanya fucking cheated on me. Why on earth would I want to put myself through that again?"

"I don't blame you. Relationships are so much trouble. From what I can tell, the only reason to be in a relationship is to have sex. The rest, I can easily do with out." Edward laughed whole-heartedly.

"Just the sex, huh? That sounds pretty nice right about now." By this time, I was laughing too at the turn in our conversation. What a strange idea. The sex without the relationship. I turned my chair toward him, feeling excited about this idea. He sat up a little straighter and faced me too. We probably looked liked we were having a deep, philosophical conversation to any observers.

"Exactly! I don't need the relationship, I just need the sex and the monogamy. It's the perfect scenario. How hard can it be to find that?" I asked with a laugh in my voice.

He shook his head, laughing.

"I think we've just discovered the secret to a happy life, Bells," he said. His use of my old nickname sent a shiver up my spine, and I regarded him seriously for a moment.

"It's too bad there's no one else who thinks like we do, hey Cullen?" I asked. He bit his lip and nodded. For a moment, I could swear he was leaning closer to me. He seemed to be lost in thought following my question. I wished I could read his mind, just so I could know what he was thinking. Surely it couldn't be the same as what I was thinking. The idea was ludicrous.

"Do it with me," he said softly after a moment had passed. I was startled by the question, and felt compelled to ask for clarification.

"What are you talking about?" I didn't want to misread him. He took both of my hands in his, the first physical contact we'd had since the day our friendship ended. The contact sent chills through me.

"Bells," he began, looking at me with intensity. "I know you hate me." I didn't expect him to say that. "But you know me. You know I wouldn't mess with you. This is something we both want. Lets just do it." His proposition shocked me. I never expected anything like this to ever come from Edward's mouth.

My mouth gaped open like I was catching flies for a good thirty seconds before I stuttered a response.

"Completely monogamous?" I asked

"Completely monogamous."

"And it's just sex. No relationship, no stupid emotions. Just sex?" I asked.

"Just sex." I swallowed hard.

"Can we really do this?" I asked. I was hesitant to believe it was actually within the realm of possibility. Edward and I hated each other, that hadn't changed. This one conversation was hardly enough to make a difference about that.

"We can do whatever we want," he said. I bit my lip hard, and I was sure it would be swollen in the morning from all that I had put it through that evening. I wanted to say yes. I desperately wanted the release, and Edward was right, I knew him. He was trustworthy. He wouldn't fuck with me. He would be completely monogamous with me.

I nodded determinedly.

"Let's do it."

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, guys, the reviews for this fic have been absolutely incredible. This is rapidly becoming my most highly reviewed fic, and I can't thank you enough for it.

I hope you liked the chapter. There's more to come! Replies are very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading :)


	4. The First Time

_BPOV_

You would probably expect that immediately after our conversation, Edward and I ran off to consummate the convoluted agreement we had entered into. Well, at least that's what I had expected to happen.

But, of course, it was a party, and there was Alice. Alice, who had been drinking a steady stream of booze since we entered the house, and Alice who was passed out on the floor, next to Jasper who was so drunk he could barely remember his own name.

Whatever would happen with Edward, I determined, would have to wait. My duties as a friend were more important than my need for release. Edward seemed to agree, and he seemed relieved that I hadn't asked him to do me right then and there. Appearances, I assumed. Edward Cullen couldn't possibly be seen sneaking off with Bella Swan of all people.

So I trudged back into the party after making tentative plans to meet Edward at his house the next day. I hauled Alice up, and dragged Jasper along, and deposited them in my truck before driving them home. Maybe the extra time would allow me to start thinking clearly again, since I had obviously suffered some sort of brain aneurysm during my conversation with Edward.

That night I barely slept a wink. I felt torn in a million different directions.

On the one hand, my agreement with Edward really was the perfect solution for both of us. I really didn't want to be that girl. The one who sleeps around, and quickly becomes the village bike (everyone gets a ride... you get it.)

On the other hand, was a relationship solely based on sex really in line with my morals? Sure, I didn't want to be the whore, but was it really so un-whorish to have completely monogamous sex with someone you aren't actually committed to?

On the other other hand, this was Edward! Edward Cullen, who had lied to me, and was such a hypocrite. Edward Cullen who had blatantly disregarded years of friendship just because some blond bitch told him to. I hated Edward Cullen.

But then... on the other other other hand... Edward was hot. Hell, he was gorgeous. And he was, for all intensive purposes, someone I felt I could trust—at least with my body. I probably wouldn't trust him with my heart, but then, he wasn't asking for that.

A monogamous, purely sexual relationship with my former best friend. How convoluted. How ridiculous.

It made me kind of hot.

So that night I didn't sleep, I pondered. I considered all of the ways I was feeling, and all of the arguments, and by the time the sun rose the next morning, I was still unsure.

I decided I would make my decision later. I'd hash it out with Edward and see if I could work out my own thoughts in the process.

It was noon when I finally headed over to Edward's place. I hadn't been there in almost two years, and was strangely surprised to find it still looked exactly the same.

As I made my way up the extravagant front walk, past the gaudy fountain in the middle of the round-a-bout driveway, I took note that the only car in the drive was Edward's. His parents had rewarded his new license with an insanely expensive car—one I would never even consider for myself. It was fire engine red, with white racing stripes, and it sported the telltale metal BMW logo on the tip of the front hood. It was an incredibly tacky display.

I used the massive knocker on the large oak door, and could hear the tapping echo inside the massive foyer. When Edward and I were friends, I was never comfortable coming to his home. The feeling of unease was even more pronounced as I stood there waiting for him to answer on that cloudy Sunday afternoon.

After what felt like an eternity, the door finally slid open, revealing a very polished looking Edward. He was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a green button up top—he looked nervous. I'm sure I looked the same, since I was certainly feeling the nerves in the pit of my stomach.

"Bella," he greeted cordially, stepping aside so I could enter. As he closed the door behind me, I took in my surroundings. Exactly the same, and just as terrifying as it always had been. "You act like you haven't seen it before," he said, coming up beside me.

"It's been a while." Edward ignored my response and started forward into the depths of the house. I began to follow.

"Take your shoes off," he said, stopping me in my tracks. I rolled my eyes and complied. Esme never let people in their house with shoes on. Might scuff the hardwood, or mess up the pearly white carpet.

After kicking off my shoes, and discarding my purse on a table near the door, I followed Edward into the house. He headed straight for his bedroom, where we used to play together. That thought made me chuckle inwardly—I suppose things weren't so different after all.

When we got to his bedroom, he held the door for me, and closed it when I was fully inside. I, again, took in my surroundings.

The room had changed a little since I had been there last. His single bed had been traded in for a queen size, and his old dinosaur curtains, which he had had up until he left that summer, had been replaced with breezy white sheaths.

The most significant difference was the choice of art. His walls had originally been filled with pictures of us. We spent nearly every second together as children, so it was no surprise that most of the early pictures of one of us, also included the other. We had been joined at the hip.

His new art choices were slightly less to my liking. Pictures of his very irritating group of friends, a couple of girls hanging off of him, some soccer photos. Nothing too special. Nothing that showed who he was, the way his old pictures had. I was surprised to find that this made me sad. I hadn't expected him to still have pictures of me in his bedroom, but it was sad to see that he had changed so much since our friendship ended.

"Do you approve?" he asked, pulling my out of my silent observation. I shrugged and turned to face him, shoving my hands deep in my pockets.

"It's different." I didn't know what else to say. 'Where are the pictures of us?' 'Who the heck are all of these skanks?' No... those questions probably wouldn't start our conversation off too well. "So..." I let my voice trail off. The awkwardness in the room was almost unbearable as we kept a generous distance between us, each with our hands securely in our pockets, while he rocked back and forth on the soles of his feet.

"So," he agreed. I breathed deeply and bit my lip, not really knowing how to start this conversation. "I'd ask if you're having second thoughts, but you showed up, so, I figured..." I nodded. My showing up did suggest a certain confidence in the plan that I didn't necessarily have.

"Why, are you having second thoughts?" I felt almost panicked that he might be. What would it look like, me showing up here, if I was supposed to have changed my mind? He shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess." His answer summed up how I was feeling entirely. I guess I was having second thoughts. I guess I just didn't know how the heck I was feeling.

"Yea, me too. I guess," I said. He looked down at the ground, and almost looked disappointed.

"So, you want to back out?" he asked. I took a moment, trying to decide if I did want to back out. Sure, this had a million and one ways to go horribly wrong, but I also hadn't had sex in a long time, and I was currently standing in the room of a willing participant. What on earth did I want? And how would I feel when I got it? I decided there was only one way to find out.

"I think we should do it," I said, feeling rather confident in my decision. He looked up at me, surprised. I hoped he hadn't been looking for an out. "Unless you don't," I added. He shook his head vigorously.

"No, no, I think we should too. I just wanted to make sure that you're still on board." I sighed a little in relief, and also in an attempt to steel my nerves. We were going to do this. We were going to have sex... I was going to have sex with Edward.

I was going to have sex with Edward.

I was going to have sex with Edward?

God, that thought made me both unbearably hot, and terribly nervous and confused at the same time.

"Umm.." I said softly. I couldn't ignore the burning between my legs, but I really didn't know where to go from there. "What now?" I asked timidly. He chuckled humourlessly and took a tentative step forward.

As he came closer, I could feel the tingling in my lady parts intensify. Just his proximity was having ridiculous affects on my body. Why was my body responding so strongly to someone I hate so much?

"I guess we should just do it," he said, finally closing the distance between us, so we were standing toe-to-toe. I could smell him strongly, and his scent was intoxicating. We weren't even touching yet, and I felt like I was falling under his spell. I hated that he could affect me so strongly.

It felt like slow motion as he leaned into me, and I naturally stepped backward, out of his reach.

"What the hell, Bella?" he asked, irritation in his voice.

"What are you doing?!" I demanded. He looked at me, mouth agape, as though he'd just witnessed the strangest thing.

"I was going to kiss you," he said, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. I shook my head indignantly.

"I realize that. But, why?" I asked. Sex with Edward? Sure, why not. Kissing Edward? What the hell?

"Because that's what you do, Bella! God, haven't you done this before?" he was a mix of incredulous and irritated, and the bulge in his pants suggested he was horny too. Not really a good combination for civil conversation. I put my hands on my hips, like a little girl would argue.

"Of course I've done this before, Edward. I just didn't think you'd be kissing me. I don't want you to do that," I told him. I wasn't entirely sure if it was the truth, but my gut reaction had been so strong to his advances that I just figured it would be best if we avoided that particular display. He rolled his eyes with a heavy, irritated sigh.

"Look, do you want to do this or not?" he asked.

"Yes, but..."

"Then shut the fuck up, and just do it!" With that he advanced on me again, this time leaving no room for me to move away as he roughly pulled me to him with one hand behind my head and another around my waist, as he kissed my fully.

My initial reaction was to struggle in his grasp, but that lasted only a second before my lips were responding to his as he kissed me hard. I felt myself relent in his arms, and give into the sensations that I hadn't experienced in a long time. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he forced his tongue into my mouth, and we began to stagger toward the bed.

I felt the back of my knees hit the mattress, before I was falling backward and landing on the soft comforter. He allowed me a moment to scoot up to the top of the bed, before claiming his position on top of me.

His hands were everywhere, in my hair, on my shoulders, grasping my breasts and thighs. The intensity and rapidity of his movements made me tingle with my need for him, because it was clear how desperately he needed me, too.

Of course, if his actions hadn't made that clear, the hardness pressing against my core would have.

He ground hard into me, and I couldn't help but moan into his mouth. He took this as encouragement, and did it again, this time in a longer stroke that felt incredible. I spread my legs a little wider around him and gave him more room to manoeuvre.

We stayed like that for a few moments, grinding hard while his mouth continued to explore my own. His hands continued their journey over my body, and I could feel him grin against my mouth every time I moaned from the feeling. I hated how much he enjoyed my reactions. It was embarrassing.

After a few moments, he became more brave and moved his hands under my shirt, toying with my breasts over my bra. It was close, but not close enough. I sat up, pushing him away for a moment, while I pulled my shirt over my head, and threw it away, allowing my bra to quickly join it. While I did so, Edward also removed his shirt, before reclaiming my mouth with his own.

As he laid out over me again, it was the first time we were skin-to-skin, and the feeling was incredible. His hard, muscular torso was covered by the smoothest skin, and the warmth of it felt wonderful against me. He began to knead my left breast in his right hand as he removed his mouth from my own and began to explore my neck and chest. When he took my nipple in his mouth, I couldn't help by gasp at the sensation.

He slowly licked around my nipple, before taking it fully in his mouth and biting lightly on the tip. I felt as though I would soak through my pants if he teased me anymore. While his mouth worked one breast, his hand continued to work the other, and then he would switch, offering the same service to the other nipple. My moans intensified, and I couldn't help the comparison as it entered my mind uninvited—Jacob had never ravished my breasts like this. It felt amazing.

Finally, after a few moments, he moved back up from my breasts, sucking and nipping lightly at my throat, before kissing me again on the mouth. I decided that he had had his fun, and that it was time for me to have mine. I quickly flipped us over, and began to explore his chest with my mouth and hands.

"Oh fuck," I heard him moan, as I bit down on his nipple. Meanwhile, I allowed my left hand to begin the trek down the hard plains of his stomach, until it was tangling in the light trail of hair that led into his pants. Feeling brave, I moved it down lower, before fully cupping him in my hand. He gasped as I grasped his length and began rubbing up and down over his pants. "Fuck, Bella," he moaned again. His voice was deep, guttural, and filled with desire. He pushed up against my hand, and I could tell that he was just as desperate for this to happen as I was.

I flicked open the button on his pants, and was surprised when I felt his hand over mine, stopping me before I could release the zipper. I looked up and found him staring at me with intensity, his eyes dark, and his breathing unsteady.

"Bella, this is your last chance to back out," he said, in that low, gritty voice. I bit my lip. This was it, the point of no return. I took a steadying breath and nodded my understanding before pulling down the zipper the rest of the way.

What happened next is almost a haze of action in my memory. He jumped up, quickly discarding his pants and underwear, and then pulling mine off too. He threw me up to the top of the bed before climbing on top of me, and settling himself at my entrance.

"Wait!" I said, stopping him before he could take that last, very major step. He back off slightly, looking angry and dejected. I shook my head.

"Condom," I said (I've since started using the pill). He visibly relaxed and shook off the shock. He pulled away from me and reached into his bedside table, pulling out the small package, and ripping it open with his teeth. When he returned to me with the condom in place, he hesitated.

"You're absolutely sure?" he asked. I nodded, not wanting to verbalize how desperately I needed this.

As he pushed into me, I couldn't help but reflect on the fact that this man, this beautiful, naked man inside of me, was Edward. He and I were childhood best friends. More importantly, we now hated each other. How in the world did we get here?

But as he settled into me, and began to thrust at a fairly even pace, I couldn't continue that particular line of thought. It had been such a long time, and Edward just filled me so completely. I couldn't manage any coherent thoughts.

He started hitting me deep and hard, and our sounds mingled together with the sound of our sexes together. It was intense, hot, wet, sticky—all of the things you would expect from really great sex.

And it was really great sex.

Edward began hitting a little harder and faster as my sounds began to escalate. I bucked my hips up against his, desperate for the contact, and feeling a need that was almost unbearable. I could feel myself becoming undone beneath him, and I really didn't want it to end so soon.

In a move that even surprised myself, I pushed him off of me and onto his back, before moving down, and taking him in my mouth.

"Bella, Fuck," he exclaimed, as his tip hit the back of my throat. I could taste myself on him, and while that had never appealed to me before, somehow the mingling of my taste with Edward's was incredibly erotic.

He tangled his hands in my hair and began to thrust upward into my mouth as I went down on him. I had never liked having someone thrust in my mouth, but for some reason when Edward did it, it only served to make me even hotter.

Of course, that could have been because this union wasn't really about mutual respect and attraction—it was about getting laid. The fact that he would fuck my face, quite literally, showed that he was entirely interested in his own release, and for some reason, I found his motives incredibly sexy. We were using each other, and, though I couldn't explain why, I really liked it.

"Fuck, Bella. I don't want to come in your mouth, I want to come in your cunt," he said in a deep growl. It sent shivers right through me, and I couldn't help but obey. I released his incredibly hard member with a pop, and climbed on him, sat down on him, and began to ride him hard.

He grasped my hips tightly and began to buck up in time with my movements. The sensation sent me up quickly, and I could feel my orgasm building even faster than before.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," I cried. "I'm so close." I increased my pace, and braced myself with my hands on his chest, nails digging into the skin there. He growled again, and I could feel myself begin to lose it.

I rode him wildly through my orgasm, biting my lip to stop the cry as I came on hard on his dick. He continued to buck up into me as I came, and just as I felt my climax subside, he came with a grunt, and a few hard thrusts. I collapsed onto his chest, my head in the crook of his neck, totally spent.

We each took a moment to catch our breath before I rolled off of him, collapsing beside him as he pulled of the condom and threw it into the trash bin.

When he relaxed onto his back, we both laid there for a few minutes staring intently at the ceiling. I didn't know what to say to him. The sex had been incredible, and I knew immediately I was addicted.

After a few more moments, I sat up and walked across the room to collect my clothes. Edward didn't look at me until I was fully dressed, and when he did, he had a lazy grin on his face.

"Bet you're glad I kissed you now," he said. I shook my head with a bit of a laugh.

"I still hate you," I said. I'm not sure why I felt the need to clarify.

"Ditto." He responded. I nodded and pulled open the door, ready to run away. "You think you're up for it again tomorrow?" His voice stopped my escape. I turned to see if he was serious, and could find no hint of doubt in his features. Slowly, I nodded.

"Tomorrow night? 10 o'clock?" I asked.

"See you then."

I had anticipated feeling low afterward, like I had after my tryst with Tyler Crowley. But that night when I pulled myself into bed, I couldn't stop the small smile that spread across my face when I reflected on the day's events.

I still hated Edward, to be sure. But fuck, if that wasn't the best sex I'd ever had.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** I'd like to thank you guys for officially making this my highest reviewed fic ever (if you've checked, you can see that I've written a lot of fic over the years, so this is kind of exciting for me!).

Because you rock so much, I'm going to try to keep the updates coming quick. I can guarantee at least two more chapters, probably more.

Let me know what you think. Reviews are the ultimate motivation for writers, as I'm sure many of you know.

Thanks for reading :)


	5. The List

_BPOV_

It was Easter Monday, and a nice reprieve from the tediousness of school, but I couldn't relax. As much as I had enjoyed my first time with Edward, I realized afterward that we hadn't actually _discussed_ anything. We had made a few awkward attempts at conversation, but when it came down to it, the clothes were off before we could pound out the details.

This made me a little nervous. This situation was entirely new to me, and I wasn't sure what would be acceptable behaviour between us, especially at school, and with friends.

I determined that that evening, Edward and I would have to set some ground rules. It couldn't just be a free-for-all, we had to have guidelines so no one got hurt or embarrassed. And, by 'no one', I mean 'me'. Edward would come through just fine—everyone already thought he was getting some from every girl in our grade, as well as a slew of other girls as well. As far as the folks at school would be concerned, I would just be another one of the skanks who fell under Edward's unbreakable spell.

That thought made me throw up a little in my mouth.

The day seemed to take forever, and I couldn't even use my job to get away from the slowly ticking clock. The downside to a national holiday? Sporting goods stores were closed.

I tried to read, I tried to do homework, I tried to watch television, but nothing could detract my attention from my situation with Edward. It was like he had crawled into my head and set up camp there. I didn't know what to do to take my mind off of him.

The thoughts of Edward went in a few different directions. There was the practical side, insisting we lay down ground rules; there was the horny side, recounting all of the steamy details from our encounter the previous day; there was the angry side, remembering exactly why I hated him; and there was the confused side, that couldn't quite figure out why I couldn't shake him from my mind.

I silently cursed him for taking over my mind.

It was around six that evening when I decided to do something about all of my stewing. I locked myself in my room after dinner, and pulled out a yellow legal pad and a pen, settled cross-legged on my bed, and began to start the list.

I decided it would be best to go to Edward's house that night with a game plan, that way I would be less likely to be distracted. The list started slowly, but it wasn't long before I started writing furiously. I hadn't realized when I began how many rules I would actually find necessary.

I completed the list after about an hour, and went back over it several times before heading out that evening.

My parents were very reliable when it came to bedtime. They were both always in bed by nine, and sleeping like babies by 9:30. I sometimes wished I could get on such a natural schedule, but my body forced me to be a night person. Mornings were bad.

I pulled up to Edward's house at ten on the dot, and decided to park a ways down the road. I wasn't sure if his parents knew I was coming, and I didn't want to attract their attention.

I began to make my way up the driveway when I heard my name in a harsh whisper.

"Bella!" I heard. I search around for the source of the sound before my eyes settled on an open second floor window that I recognized as Edward's room. He was leaning out the window, gesturing wildly for me to come in that direction. I took a glance at the front door before racing off the walkway and onto the grass.

"Come down and let me in," I called back, mimicking his whisper. He shook his head.

"No, no, you can't go to the door," he exclaimed. I looked at him with total confusion. If not the door, then how? "Climb the tree!" he said, gesturing to a tree that stood just outside the window. It didn't look too hard to climb, and a sturdy-looking branch did jut out very near to his window, but the idea was ludicrous.

"You want me to climb the tree?" I asked, my voice a deadpan. He nodded exuberantly and I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "No fucking way." I wasn't going to be the chick who climbed a tree to get into a guys room. That was just way too desperate.

"C'mon, Bella. I wont let you fall," he said, gesturing again toward the tree. I shook my head indignantly.

"No. Just come get me at the back door," I said, as I began to trek away from the window.

"No, Bella. Come on, it's just a tree," he said. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest and glared at him. He just sighed heavily and began climbing out his window.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed!" I exclaimed, still in that hushed tone. I watched him get a footing in the tree and swiftly climb down, while I clutched my stomach to stop my nerves. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding when his feet made contact with the ground and he sauntered over to me.

"See? No big deal. Now go!" he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the tree.

"Why can't I just use the door?" I asked, allowing him to manipulate me onto the first branch. I began to climb while he answered.

"My parents have some people over. I don't need the Houston's knowing I'm bringing a girl here to fuck," he said from underneath me. I reached the branch that led to the window and stopped, holding on tightly. I could feel the branch dip a bit as Edward ventured out onto it as well.

"Careful, it might give!" I exclaimed, holding on tighter. He rolled his eyes, and easily moved past me, ducking through the window into the room, and holding his hand out to me. I ventured a glance below me, and that was when I first realized how high two stories actually is. My stomach instantly felt queasy, and I tightened my grip on the branch. "I can't do it," I exclaimed, "I'm going back down."

"You're already here!" Edward, exclaimed. He reached out and took hold of my arm, and I swayed unsteadily.

"Edward!" I exclaimed. He just rolled his eyes.

"I won't let you fall," he said again. He held tight onto my arm, and held his other hand out to me. After a moment of contemplation, and silently berating him, I quickly let go of the branch, and grasped his hand tightly, allowing him to guide me through the window.

It wasn't as difficult as I had imagined it would be, but it was still freaking high.

As I landed softly on the white plush carpet, he shut the window behind me, and turned to look at me with an amused expression. His arms were crossed in front of him. "Was that so hard?" his tone was mocking, and irritated me to no end.

"I could have been killed," I said, dramatically. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes, heading past me to sit on the bed. I hesitated a moment before following, sitting about a foot away from him and swinging my backpack off my shoulders, setting it in my lap.

"Are we studying?" he asked, a bemused expression. I shook my head. He offered a bit of a crooked grin and took hold of my bag, setting it on the floor, as he moved closer. "Good," he said, attempting to close the distance between us. I shifted away and leaned down, grabbing my bag again. He backed off, looking irritated.

"What the hell are you doing, Bella?" he questioned. I just held up a finger for him to wait as I began to rifle through the contents of my back. I soon emerged with my yellow legal pad in hand, and handed it to him. I let him peruse it while I re-zipped the bag and set it back on the floor.

"What is this?" he asked, obviously confused.

"They're rules," I clarified. He looked at me, his confusion not lifting. I let out a breath, and explained. "We didn't really talk the other day about what this is all going to entail. I realized that we need to set some ground rules before this goes any further, so we can avoid any... embarrassing situations." He slowly began to nod his understanding.

"And these are your rules?" he asked, gesturing to the paper. I nodded.

"I think they'll help keep things straight. Feel free to add to the list if you think I missed anything. He sighed heavily and looked back at the list.

"Rule number one," he declared. "Only at Edward's house?" he looked at me incredulously. "Why the fuck does it have to be here?" I had anticipated his questions, and had formulated my responses accordingly.

"Because," I explained, "Your bedroom is on a different floor, on the opposite side of the house from your parents bedroom; whereas my parents live across the hall." He understood, but was still unhappy.

"And it also ensures that the only person who can get caught by their parents is me," he said, irritated, adding to my conclusion. I rolled my eyes.

"You know very well that if we get caught, your parents will call mine, just like mine would call yours. It's not a trap, Edward." He sighed heavily.

"Fine. Whatever. But it's _not_ always going to be here." His tone was very final.

"If you have another place in mind, you're welcome to suggest it." He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Rule number two," he said, dropping the subject. "No one at school can know." He pondered this a moment. "Obviously." His response, for no apparent reason, kind of hurt. Sure, it was my rule, but I would have liked him to be a _little_ insulted by my not wanting to share this information.

"Rule three. If we start to like someone, or want to date someone, deal's off." He looked at me, questioningly. "I thought the whole point in doing this was so we could avoid the whole 'dating' issue." I nodded.

"It is, but sometimes things change."

"I guess." He moved on. "Rule four: this is not therapy, just sex. No mentions of the past." He bit his lip after this one, and I wondered what was on his mind. I had no intention of turning our arrangement into the Dr. Phil show. We weren't here to work anything out, we were just having sex. He said nothing, just moved on as though he hadn't read it at all.

"Rule five: we are not friends." He stopped and shot me dirty look. "That's not a rule." I conceded him that.

"No, it's a clarification. This doesn't change anything between us, Edward. You need to know that."

"You say it like I thought it would." He sounded mildly offended. I just shrugged.

"You never know. I'm just making sure we're on the same page here."

"Reading you loud and clear," his tone was almost unreadable, and he refused to look in my direction. I bit my lip, waiting for more of a reaction, but none came.

"Six: If one of us wants out, that's it. No questions asked." That was the last rule. He flung the legal pad away and looked at his hands. "Fine."

"Fine?" I asked. "All of them?" he shrugged.

"Fine." Was all he said. The tension in the room was quickly growing uncomfortable. I needed to break it.

"Do you have anything you'd like to add?" he was silent for a moment, presumably in thought. Just when I thought he was going to avoid answering me altogether, he took a long breath in, and let it escape slowly. He sat up a little straighter and squared his shoulders. He almost looked like he was shaking off disappointment.

"Actually, yea," he said after he took his moment. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for his stipulation. "We need a code word." He said. I laughed despite myself. A code word? All of that contemplation, for that?

"A code word?" I repeated, still giggling a little. His ridiculous statement eased the tension a bit, and we both seemed to relax.

"Yea," he said. "You know, for when we want to have sex. Otherwise, how will we know?" I continued to chuckle a bit.

"Why can't we just call each other?" I asked. He looked at me in mock seriousness.

"Because that'll leave a trail!" he exclaimed. I burst out laughing again. "I'm serious. We need to be covert, so no one ever finds out." His tone was hilarious, mildly conspiratorial, and the silliness relaxed me. It was almost like talking to my old friend again, '_No, Bella. We're Not Friends, rule number 5_!' I mentally berated myself.

He had a point though. How would we know if the other was up for it.

"Well," I said after a moment. "I guess we should come up with something. We need like a code for yes or no." He chuckled a little and nodded.

"How bout if we want it, we say chicken," he suggested. I raised an eyebrow.

"Something that a normal person would say, Edward. Besides, we can't just start talking to each other at school all of a sudden. People will notice." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine. What's your idea, genius?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Just a common greeting. If you want it, walk by me and say hi or something, and if I respond then I'm up for it, and if I ignore you, then I'm not."

"And vice versa, if you're the one who wants it?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yea. It's simple enough, and it shouldn't draw attention." He seemed to weigh the options.

"I still like chicken," he said, though I could tell he was kidding.

"Then go to KFC, and fuck me already," I said, effectively ending that conversation. He grinned a little, and immediately made his move. Before I knew it, I was on my back, while my neck was being attacked by his hungry lips.

The conversation had gone relatively well. I felt like we had cleared up any issues, and now we could move on and just enjoy the freedom of our relationshipless sex. Once again, the sex didn't disappoint.

**The Rules:**

Only at Edward's house

No one at school can know

If we start to like someone, or want to date someone, deal's off

This is not therapy, it's just sex. No mentions of the past.

We are not friends.

If one of us wants out of it, that's it, no questions asked.

Code is a common greeting

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I was going to hold off a bit on this update because the story is going so fast, but when the story hit 150 reviews, I felt compelled to share more. It's so nice have such great reception to this fic :) I can't thank you guys enough.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Hope you liked it!


	6. The Learning Curve

_BPOV_

Edward and I spent the next several months getting to know each other. Well... sexually, at least. The rules were never mentioned again after that night, but they were followed to a tee. We managed to avoid any awkward conversations about our past, present, or future relationship. We just enjoyed the sex when we had it, and continued to loathe each other the rest of the time. The arrangement was working out perfectly.

We weren't sex maniacs. It wasn't as if every single night I found myself crawling through Edward's window. But we did have fairly consistent sex, usually averaging about two or three times a week. Whenever one of us wanted some, we would find a reason to pass by the other at school.

"Bitch," Edward would say, barely glancing in my direction.

"Asshole," I would respond. Nope, nothing out of the ordinary. No one suspected a thing.

Every time we agreed to meet, it was at the same place and at the same time. Inevitably, at 10pm I would find myself climbing that godforsaken tree and tapping on Edward's window. He would open the window, make some snooty comment, and then eventually let me in. I think he liked the power of being able to decide if we were actually going to be together each night. Having our trysts at his house ultimately kept the ball in his court. I would complain, but it was due to my own stipulation that the sex had to be at his house rather than my own.

In the first couple of weeks, Edward and I made every effort to learn what the other person liked. Although we weren't totally concerned with the other person's pleasure, we both realized that if we wanted the sex to be good, we would have to make it good for all parties involved. So, the learning commenced.

The first time Edward gave me oral, it was a mix of the most embarrassing, and most satisfying things I'd ever experienced. I hadn't anticipated it, and was shocked to find him making the move.

We had begun just like every other time. He let me in after some contemplation, we exchanged a few insults, and proceeded to tear each other's clothes off like animals.

Edward laid me down on the bed, taking his usual position above me, and grinding hard into me. I had started on the pill about a month earlier, immediately after making the arrangement with Edward, though I hadn't told him. I wasn't sure if I was ready, or if I would ever be ready, to have sex with him without a condom. I felt like a condom gave me a little more control over the situation.

I expected him to enter me right away, as he often did. Our trysts were often hurried, and filled with an animalistic need. This time, though, he seemed to slow down. He kissed my neck and chest softly, he flicked his tongue against my nipple, and rubbed the other nub softly under his thumb. The sensation was different than it usually was, it was more relaxed, and my usual moans of passion turned into sighs of satisfaction. It felt really nice to be handled delicately, for a change.

He slowly kissed his way down my torso, licking around my belly button, and softly caressing my curves with his hands. I expected that once he reached my lower midsection, he would return to me, and enter me roughly, breaking the spell.

I was surprised when he continued downward.

When I felt his mouth on me, it caused me to jump a little. It was unexpected, and I didn't realize that he had even considered doing something so... intimate.

"Edward!" I gasped. He looked up from between my legs with a confused expression. "You don't have to do that," I said, breathless.

"I want to. Just shut up and enjoy yourself, Swan," he said, returning to his place between my legs.

His movements were slow, searching, learning. When he elicited a new sound from me, he continued the action to spur it on. When I was quiet, he changed his tactics to try to find the spots that made me moan. As embarrassed as I was to have him tasting me, I was also oddly pleased at how attentive he was being.

He licked my nub, while his fingers slowly entered me. I could feel myself fitting around them, and it was incredible. His fingers moved slowly against my upper walls, in a come-hither movement, hitting the spot that built me up in the most delicious way. Meanwhile, he very slowly licked, sucked and kissed my clit. It was slow, and, dare I say it? Sensual. It was as if he was enjoying the moment, enjoying my taste, and enjoying the way he was making me feel.

It was a slow build with his movements being so slow and soft, but it was a build nevertheless. When I came, it wasn't in a burst of passion, but it felt like a calm release of the tension. It was a kind of climax that I had never experienced before. When I came he licked up my juices, and seemed to be savouring them. When he was finished, I felt like jello, completely relaxed. I almost wanted to thank him for doing something so sweet for me.

He slowly made his way back up my body, stopping every few inches to kiss and taste the skin as he went. When he finally returned to me, I could feel his hardness against me, and all I wanted was to have him sheath it inside of me, and never leave again.

I hated that he had made me feel so content. Great head, be damned. I still hated him.

But in that moment, it really didn't matter. He kissed my neck softly, and reached toward his bedside table to pull out a condom.

"Don't," I said softly, barely finding my voice in my post-orgasm bliss. He stopped, but looked confused and irritated.

"Why not?" he asked, obviously assuming that I was trying to deny him sex after the fantastic oral he had just given me. I didn't want him to think that was the case. I may have hated him, but I wasn't selfish.

"You don't need it. I'm on the pill now," I told him. I didn't want him to know that I had been on it nearly the whole time we had been having sex. I just wanted him to know that now we could be together without the barrier. It wouldn't do to tell him that the reason he could do that with me now was because he had made me feel special just a moment before. That would certainly break some rules.

He swallowed hard, obviously turning my statement around in his head. He bit his lip and looked at me with a hint of hesitation.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. His hardness pressing against my inner thigh told me that he wanted it desperately, and if I was going to be honest with myself, I had to admit that I did too. I wanted to feel _him_ inside of me, without anything in the way. I just swallowed hard and nodded, spreading my legs a little wider around him so he could enter me comfortably.

He hesitated another moment before pressing his lips softly against my neck, and pushing into me. The feeling of him inside of me was incredible, and I could tell it was for him as well. He let out a low moan as he fully sheathed himself within me, and held still for a moment when he was inside, obviously getting used to this new sensation.

Slowly, he began to move, and I could tell that the feeling without the barrier was incredible for him.

"God, you're so wet," he moaned into my ear as he moved inside of me. It made me blush to know that he would now know just how desperately I wanted him.

As his paced increased, so did our noises. I couldn't help but gasp as he hit me deep and hard, and he was breathing hard and loud, muffling his mouth in my throat. Our sounds mingled together in harmony with one another, and it made the feeling even more intense.

As he neared his climax, he raised his head to look at me, and I could see nothing but pure desire.

"Oh Bella," he moaned. "Fuck. Come soon, please," he begged. It made me feel a little proud that my body had pushed him to the point of begging for release, and I couldn't help but oblige. His inadvertent admission pushed me to my height, and I came hard around him, bucking up against him as I did so.

His release quickly followed mine, and he buried his face back in my throat as he bucked into me wildly. For the first time, I could feel him come inside of me, and the hot, sticky feeling was incredible. After a moment, he slowed to a stop, not pulling out of me, and I could feel our mingling juices begin to seep out from between us.

"Holy shit," he moaned hoarsely, his voice still muffled by my shoulder. We were both breathing heavily, and were slow to come down from our mutual high. I didn't pressure him to move away, instead I allowed a hand to tangle in his hair, and rubbed his head, which was slightly damp with sweat. It was a calm moment between us, and I opted to ignore the fact that I hated him. It was a moment of joint relaxation and contentment, no need to ruin it.

After several moments in this position, he finally pulled out of me, and rolled over to the side. I took another moment to gather myself, before getting up and pulling on my clothes. He said nothing as I stepped into my shoes, and headed to the window.

"See ya," I said, pulling myself out the window and into the tree. I was halfway down before I heard him mutter a quiet, "See ya," in response.

Edward's first oral adventure with me came not long after the first time I gave him a full on blow job. Of course, I had given him brief head during our first time together, but it wasn't quite the same as a blow job—it had just been a means to stave off my own release.

We had been going at it for about two weeks when I first did it for him.

I had decided before even going to his house that this was something I wanted to try with him. I knew it was something I was pretty good at, judging from the reactions I had gotten out of Jacob, but it had been almost two years since I had employed that skill. I was sure I was severely out of practise.

As soon as I landed on the plush white carpet, I immediately went to work.

"What the hell?" Edward asked, as I immediately went to the button on his pants. I quickly flicked it open and undid the zipper, before tugging his pants and underwear down to his ankles. I relaxed onto my knees, and took his largely flaccid penis in my hand, rubbing it vigorously for a moment, enjoying the feeling of it hardening in my hand, before wrapping my mouth around it.

I could hear Edward curse rather loudly as I took him in my mouth. He seemed unsteady on his feet, but we weren't within reach of the bed, and I had no intention of stopping. I continued to move my mouth over him, enjoying the taste of his precum, and alternating between sucking on the head, and diving deeper.

The first time I took him all the way in, he barely managed to stay on his feet. As my nose reached his hips, he gathered his hair in his fisted hands, and cried out various obscenities. I had never realized how much of a gift my lack of a gag reflex was, until I started giving head. Jacob had enjoyed it immensely, and I could tell, Edward enjoyed it just as much.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned, as I took his balls in my hands, tugging them in time to the pace I set with my mouth. He wobbled unsteadily on his feet, and I decided to avoid any potential mishaps. I popped off, and pushed him backward so he could sit on the bed. He plopped down hard, and was barely settled before I had him back in my mouth.

I set a fervent pace, and enjoyed the way he moaned my name whenever I took him deep. The sound of my name escaping his lips sent a thrill of excitement and arousal through me, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I would need to feel him inside of me.

Luckily, he was about ready for my torture to end. He tangled his hands in my hair, and guided me over him until he was about to burst.

"Fuck, Bella. I'm gonna come," he cried, obviously expecting me to move away. I could hear his intake of breath when the admission only caused me to suck harder, and take him even deeper. I wasn't sure what compelled me to want to swallow, as it wasn't something I had enjoyed in the past, but for some reason when he exclaimed that he was going to come, I desperately wanted it to happen in my mouth.

It wasn't another moment before I could feel him releasing in my mouth. I made the mistake of tasting it before swallowing it down, and determined that it was very unpleasant. I had tasted bad things in my time, and while jizz wasn't the worst, it certainly wasn't tasty. Regardless of that fact, though, I swallowed every drop, and licked him clean at the end while he watched me, wide-eyed.

When I finally came off of him with a pop, and stood in front of him, he kept his eyes trained on me. He was breathing hard, and didn't seem to know what to do, or what to think.

Slowly, I reached down and took his shirt by the hem, pulling it up and over his head, throwing it away to join the pile of his clothes. Once I had deposited his shirt, I pulled mine over my head and flung it away as well. This was about the time when Edward caught up with me. He roughly grabbed me and pulled me down onto him, so I was straddling him, while he kissed me hard.

His tongue invaded my mouth with fervency, and I could tell he was enjoying his taste on my tongue. I wondered why he would like that, considering how awful the taste had been. I chalked it up to conceit, and allowed him to continue his exploration.

After a few moments, he pulled away, and began attacking my shoulder and neck with kisses and nips while he unclasped and removed by bra.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned against my shoulder. "That was fucking incredible," he exclaimed. I giggled a little. It was nice to know that I had been able to take him off guard in such a way. I enjoyed the power.

It wasn't long before the rest of my clothes had been discarded, and he was entering me with a newly rejuvenated erection. The sex was hard and fast, as usual, and I could tell he was trying to hold up his end of the bargain, after experiencing an orgasm in my mouth. Not that I was complaining. When Edward wants to, he doesn't fail to impress.

He brought me up, and sent me over the edge quickly, and I enjoyed the way it felt to have him continue to thrust steadily through my orgasm. He continued well past my climax, and brought me to a second before finally emptying himself into the condom he was wearing.

Again, when we broke apart, I made a quick exit. Pillow talk wasn't in the contract.

Those first couple of months were incredible for us, and the rules remained unbroken. It wasn't until just recently that things have turned from black and white, to gray.

I still hate Edward. I think. But between the way he's been acting, and the unprecedented feelings inside of me, I'm just not so sure anymore.

* * *

**A/N:** So, I think the secret to getting a _lot_ of reviews, is just to let a fic sit there and germinate for a while, and build up the anticipation... but I'm just a _reall_y impatient person, and I have chapters sitting here that I just really want to share.

So... you all are benefitting from my lack of patience.

I hope you liked it. We're actually making some progress here, now. Let me know what you thought!

Thanks for reading =D

~Christie


	7. The Present

_BPOV_

So that brings me to tonight. Edward and I have had our arrangement going for well over a year now, and it's been incredible. For about the first year, the rules were very strictly in play. It's just been in the past couple of weeks that things have started to change.

About a month ago I was walking through the hallway at school, and very nearly bumped right into Edward. He was surrounded by a flock of girls, as usual, and I was surprised to feel a tinge of jealousy at the fact that these girls were getting his polite attention. Edward was never polite with me, it was always rushed, and rough. Not that I was complaining, it was always very satisfying, but it still lacked that emotional connection that, as I had determined with Jacob, made sex even better.

I tried to shove past the group that was taking up the majority of the hall-space (I hate it when people do that), but couldn't quite fit. I accidentally bumped into one of the girls slobbering over him, and it sent her stumbling erratically into Edward's arms. I could tell the stumble was fake, as could anyone else with a working set of eyes in the vicinity, but she turned and looked at me with venom in her eyes.

"Sorry," I mumbled, attempting to make a quick getaway. I was stopped when she grabbed hold of my arm.

"Why don't you watch where you're going, bitch!?" she exclaimed. I jerked my arm out of her grasp.

"Don't fucking touch me," I said in a low, steady voice. I had no intention of getting in a row with Edward's slut. She grabbed my arm again, tighter this time, while glancing at Edward. It was apparent she was trying to impress him. I chanced a glance at Edward, who looked very uncomfortable.

"Don't look at him," she said, "He's not gonna defend you. He fucking hates you, just like everyone else." Her words stung, though I knew them to be true. The confirmation that he hated me really shouldn't have bothered me at this point, well into the latter half of Junior year.

"Leave her alone," Edward said, stepping away from the wall he had been leaning against. The girl looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"Edward..." she said, clearly not understanding why he would want to stop a perfectly good Bella smack-down. He grabbed her hand and roughly removed it from my arm. I took the opportunity to back away from the group at that point, but could hear Edward in the background.

"What the fuck is your problem, Heidi? It was an accident," he said, quite loudly. I almost smiled at the realization that he was defending me.

"Fuck that, Cullen. You hate her just as much as I do," she exclaimed.

I had nearly rounded the corner of the hallway at this point, and as his voice faded, I thought I could hear him say, "You don't know anything about how _I_ feel." I just continued walking, deciding my ears were playing tricks on me.

I was halfway down the next hallway when I heard my name being called.

"Bella," Edward called, jogging up to where I stood, mouth agape.

"What?" I asked, not being able to come up with any logical reason for why he would be chasing me down.

"Are you alright?" he asked, as he finally reached me. He reached out and rubbed my arm lightly where the bitch had grabbed me. It was still early, but I could see the faint finger imprints turning to light purple bruises. Had that little thing really managed to bruise me? Ugh. I really did bruise much too easily. His soft touch made my skin tingle.

"I'm fine," I said, indignantly. "She's a bitch." I gestured in the general direction from which we came. He chuckled lightly.

"Yea, no kidding," he agreed. I crossed my arms over my chest, moving away from him slightly so he could no longer reach my arm. I didn't know why it affected me so much, but I didn't want to let on that it did. I cleared my throat, trying to relieve some of my discomfort.

"So aren't you afraid that people might see you talking to me?" I asked. He rolled his eyes.

"So what if they do? You're not toxic," he said. I raised an eyebrow. "Or Mike Newton," he added with a crooked grin. I chuckled at this. Newton had returned to school after Tanya had had the baby. His status had immediately plummeted, and now he was a social pariah. It served him right.

"So..."I said, totally unsure of how to have a regular conversation with him. I glanced around, determining that we were alone in the hallway, before continuing on in a hushed tone. "Can I come over tonight?" I asked. It was the first time either of us had actually made mention of our arrangement at school. Typically our conversations consisted of one word jabs at each other that ultimately led to fantastic fucking.

He shook his head.

"Sorry, my parents are having a bit of a get together tonight. I have to be "social, and polite"," he said, using air-quotes to say 'social and polite'. I nodded my understanding, but couldn't quite understand the disappointment I felt. It wasn't as if we hadn't turned each other down before. For some reason, that day felt different. The whole dynamic between us seemed to have shifted. "Tomorrow?" he asked. He seemed hopeful, and I nodded.

"Tomorrow," I confirmed. He offered a slight grin, and began to turn to head back to his loyal followers. "Hey Edward?" I said, stopping him. He half turned, "thanks for sticking up for me." He shrugged.

"Hey, you'd do the same for me, right?" he grinned crookedly, and I laughed lightly.

"Probably not," I joked.

"Yea, didn't think so," he said with an exaggerated eye roll, before turning on his heel and heading away from me. I was left with a silly grin on my face, which I wiped off as soon as I realized it was there. Edward had stuck up for me, and he had made me feel better when I was upset. Something was terribly, terribly wrong in the world.

These small conversations continued over the next several weeks. It was no longer a, "Bitch," or a, "Fuck you," here and there. Rather it was a, "Hello," or, "How's it going?" Usually these polite greetings gave way to a short conversation. They were trivial, about his soccer, or my parents, but they were conversations nonetheless. It was becoming increasingly hard to maintain rules number two and five: no one at school can know, and we're not friends.

The sex hadn't changed much, though. It was just as rough and maniacal as ever—in fact, it was even more so. Pleasantries had been cut down to a bare minimum before we were ravaging each other as though we'd had years of pent up aggression to release. Well... I suppose we _did_ have years of pent up aggression to release with one another, but that would likely have broken rule number four: this is not therapy.

As much as I desperately hate to admit it, the changes in our relationship over the past several weeks have been kind of nice. It takes an awful lot of energy to hate someone so vigorously, but up until recently, that has been the requirement for the success of our arrangement. Sex with no passion is just sex. At least if we hate each other, the passion exists. Hate sex may not be the same as love sex, but it's still great sex.

So tonight when Edward announced the end of our arrangement, I desperately wanted to argue. I wanted to—and it hurts me to admit it—beg him to reconsider. I wanted to demand an explanation. I wanted something, _anything_ more than the simple, "Don't come back," that he gave me.

I know things have been changing, but unfortunately, the rules that bind us haven't. We agreed that when one person wanted to end it, it was over, no questions asked. So I bit my tongue, pulled myself through the window, and ran for the car. When I locked myself inside, I couldn't hold back the tears. They flowed as though I had just lost something near and dear to my heart—which is most certainly _not_ the case. Edward is just Edward: just the guy that I hate. Nothing more.

Even now, when I allow myself to think that Edward is 'nothing more' than 'just a guy', it makes me laugh. Edward hasn't ever been 'just a guy.' I realize that my feelings for him do go further than just hate. Much further. I don't know when I realized that I love him. Maybe I've known it all along. Maybe I'm deluding myself into thinking such a thing, just because I've enjoyed the sex so much. Whatever the case, I just need to know the truth.

I'm desperate to know how everything has gone so wrong in such a short period of time. I feel like I _need_ to ask him why, rules be damned. I _need_ to argue. I _need _to keep this arrangement going. I don't know why. I just do.

Now as I lay here in my bed, my face sticky from old tears, and my eyes stinging with new ones, I'm terrified for what tomorrow will bring. I just hope I can convince him to change his mind.

* * *

**A/N:**Rather than taking care of this cliffie, I'm just gonna leave you with a little bit of information to chew on: I've been reading each and every one of your reviews, and I know _exactly_ what you all want.

Keep that in mind as you wait for the next chapter ;)

Thanks for reading guys. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.


	8. The Reason

_EPOV_

I'm in love with Bella Swan.

So, you're probably wondering why I'm such a dick.

It's a long story, and I have to start at the beginning.

Bella and I used to be best friends. We would spend every waking moment together, as much as possible, and we were never happy unless the other was there. I remember her 6th birthday party, I remember the first tooth she lost, I remember the first time she broke her wrist (it's happened four times since, she's very clumsy). I remember everything.

I've tried to forget, honestly. The past several years would have been significantly easier for me, and probably for her as well, if I could have just removed all of those fond memories, but I can't. They're ingrained in me. Bella is ingrained in me. It's like I breathe better when she's around. When she isn't I can feel it, like a part of me is missing—I know that sounds cheesy, but you'll have to bear with me.

It all went to shit that summer. My parents have never approved of my friendship with Bella. I've never agreed with them, obviously, but they've always made it very clear that she was not the sort of company I should have been keeping. I'll explain why.

We come from what my parents call 'Old Money'. We're original blue bloods from Chicago. It started long before I came along, long before my parents were around. Hell, it was long before even my grandparents were here. My Great, Great Grandfather Cullen came to America in the mid-nineteenth century, just after the end of the civil war. He brought with him a wealth that the family had built up for centuries in England. When he got to Chicago, he started one of the oldest running Newspapers in the city, the Chronicle. Since he pioneered the project, our family has benefited from the exponential growth of his bank account.

As a part of this wealth comes a place in high society, which matters very much to my grandparents and my parents. I've never been one for the whole 'rich kid' role, and have always tried to steer myself away from the expectations of that life. Unfortunately, my parents don't approve. The only reason we came to Forks in the first place was because the town was desperate for a doctor, and as one of the leading physicians in the country, my father opted to lend a hand. He called it his 'American Duty', though I know now that it was because they were willing to pay so much more than the hospitals in Chicago. Desperation leads people to find deeper pockets.

So that summer my parents decided to head back to Chicago. My Grandfather was in ailing condition after a heart attack, and they wanted to be there for him and my Grandmother. I wouldn't dare complain about the trip back. I would miss Bella, of course, but family is important.

When we got to Chicago, my parents immediately fell back into their old social circles. I was dragged to a number of engagements, and was paraded around like the male version of a debutante. My parents made no secret of my available status, and made sure that all of the high society young women got a good look.

I suppose I shouldn't complain. I was single, and wasn't entirely happy with that status. But it was always very clear to me that my heart lay back in Forks, safely in the clutches of my beautiful best friend.

The first few weeks I talked to Bella every night, lamenting my circumstance of being thrust into the throngs of desperate girls who could no more remember my favourite colour than they could do long division. She laughed with me at the antics of those girls, and we would eventually segue into comfortable conversation about whatever popped into our minds. I could say anything to Bella, and she would never judge. If my comments were remarkably stupid, she would point it out, but it was always in fun.

About midway through July, my parents re-introduced me to the Denali family. The Denali's were in partnership with my family's newspaper, and Mr. Denali had been best friends with my Dad all through med-school. They told me the Denali's would be moving to Forks to join the team at the hospital there, come September. They implored me to get to know their daughter, Tanya, so she wouldn't be all alone upon moving.

Tanya irritated me to no end. She talked too much, and about nothing of any consequence. She made fun of those in lower classes, and assumed I felt the same way. She blindly accepted that those in the upper social stratosphere were just simply 'better' than every one else. At least three quarters of everything she said made my skin crawl.

But, as a favour to my parents, I gave her my undivided attention. I knew it was difficult to move, so maybe I could change her a little so she wouldn't be slaughtered by the 'lower classes' when she moved to Forks and found herself among the minority.

About two weeks after I re-met Tanya (I had known her as a young child, but that was a very long time ago), my Grandfather's condition worsened. The family gathered around him, keeping a vigil, waiting for him to die.

Around 10PM one Tuesday night, my family had congregated in the living room, and I stayed in my grandparent's room by his side. He was barely conscious for most of his last days, so I opted to keep him silent company while the family planned his obituary and funeral. I didn't want to have a part in that. It hurt too much to think of him being gone. He may have represented the things that I truly disliked about my family, but he was still my grandfather, and I loved him immensely.

The room was very quiet, almost uncomfortably so. All I could hear was his laboured breathing. He seemed in a daze, looking around the room, not focusing on any one thing in particular. I was startled when he started to speak. His voice was low, gruff, weak, but authoritative nevertheless.

"Edward," he said. I scooted a little closer in my chair so he wouldn't have to strain to speak.

"Yes, Grandfather?" I asked. He hadn't said anything in days. I didn't want to miss a moment of what could be my last conversation with him.

"I know..." he stopped a moment, breathing deeply, swallowing. I waited patiently for him to continue. "I know you don't understand now what it means to be a part of this family." I bit my lip and looked down, a habit I had learned from Bella. "But, listen, Edward. Son. There are expectations of you. Expectations to choose the path that makes the family proud. To choose the family over yourself."

"Grandfather, I..."

"No, Edward. Listen to me, now." I swallowed back my argument and listened obediently. "I know you've got a girl back home." This took me by surprise. I looked up, and met his eyes for the first time. He knew about Bella. I wondered who had told him, and what had been said. "I also know that she's not good for you."

"Bella_ is_ good for me," I argued. He shook his head lazily.

"She's keeping you from your potential, son." I shook my head hard. Bella built me up, she didn't bring me down. "Don't argue. Just listen." I bit my tongue. "You're so much like I was at your age, Edward. So strong. So confident. So determined.

"It would kill me if you let all of that go to waste for some girl." I swallowed hard. He didn't know Bella. He didn't know what he was saying. "Edward. Please do something for me," he asked. He looked so weak, and I couldn't only nod meekly.

"Anything," I said softly.

"Marry a good girl," he said softly. "Someone like us." Like us? Or, specifically, not like Bella? I swallowed hard, and nodded. "Promise," he implored me, with his weakening voice, sunken face, and limp body. I could feel my hands begin to shake. I didn't want to promise. It hurt.

"I promise." The words escaped my mouth without a conscious decision. He nodded and relaxed back into the mattress, closing his eyes.

It wasn't another half an hour before he passed away.

When I told Bella about my grandfathers passing, she was wonderfully caring, as expected, but every assurance she gave me felt like a stabbing in my chest. I knew that she probably didn't return my feelings, but the thought that I had essentially promised my grandfather that I wouldn't be with Bella weighed hard on me.

I decided that the only way to get past my feelings for Bella would be to try to have feelings for someone else. I was sure I could still be best friends with her when I returned, but it would be much easier if I could also return with someone else I cared about.

I turned to Tanya. She was going to be joining me in Forks, and it seemed like the most convenient option. For all of her (many) shortcomings, she was tremendously beautiful, and occasionally funny. I decided to try to throw my affections in her direction. It would have pleased my grandfather.

Tanya, as expected, was all over me as soon as I made the first move. Of course, young women in polite society _never_ made the first move. They expected to be courted. Well... I didn't have to court Tanya too much. She was ready and willing as soon as I merely suggested a date.

My relationship with Tanya progressed very quickly—too quickly for my tastes. I had always expected to wait to have sex until I was in love, but she was intent on it. I felt pressured to make the move about two weeks into our relationship.

People tend to think that all teenaged boys are interested in is sex. It's true, we think about it, but in all honesty, I was scared. It was too soon for me.

Our first time was quick and messy. I started, and just couldn't wait for it to be over. She made a whole host of very fake porno noises, which only served to diminish my already unsteady erection. She was beautiful, but I just didn't find her terribly arousing. When we finished she made some over-the-top comments, I plastered on a fake grin, and raced home as quickly as possible. The first thing I did was call Bella.

I didn't tell her about Tanya. I really wanted to see if I could grow to care about Tanya without Bella's influence. I knew I would do whatever Bella told me to do, so if she said, "Geez, Edward, don't become one of _them_ now," I would have dumped Tanya in a second.

It made me feel a little better to know that Bella wasn't having a miserable time back in Forks. She had made a new friend, Jillian, and it almost made me feel better to know that the pressure was off me to be Bella's only real friend. She and I had been so joined at the hip that neither of us had really gone out in search of other buddies. I was glad that if I came back with a girlfriend, Bella wouldn't automatically become the third wheel.

The remainder of August was a building period for me and Tanya. She was all over me, and I tried really hard to get into it because I desperately wanted the relationship to work. By the end of the summer I had almost been able to convince myself that I cared about her. In times when I doubted it, I just reminded myself, "She's fucking hot," and continued on with my 'relationship'.

Finally, after the longest summer of my life, I was able to go home. I hadn't told Tanya about Bella, so I was glad that my family was leaving a day before hers. I would have a chance to catch up with my best friend before the girlfriend came in to take up my time.

I had every intention of telling Bella about Tanya that first night back, but it just never came out. I tried once, but I couldn't say the words. We were having so much fun just being _us_that I didn't want to ruin the moment. I knew that it would probably hurt Bella to know I had kept something so significant from her, after years of complete disclosure with one another. Bella and I told each other _everything. _I knew when she had diarrhea after Thai food, she knew when my soccer injuries were leaking puss... our comfort level with each other would have grossed out any other sane person.

So I decided I would have to tell her the next day. In fact, I called her about midday, before Tanya's plane was supposed to land, with every intention of laying it all out there for her, and groveling if need-be to get her to forgive me from keeping such important information from her.

When she picked up the phone, she was breathing hard. I chuckled a little. It was unlike Bella to engage in any sort of physical activity.

"Why are you out of breath?" I asked, joking. She made some excuse about running around with Jillian, and I understood. Well... I understood until I heard a distinctly male voice in the background saying:

"Jillian? Who's Jillian?"

What?

I questioned her about it, and suddenly my world was turned upside down. Bella had a boyfriend. Bella had a boyfriend, and didn't tell me.

My heart hurt. Bella had a boyfriend.

To this day I can't explain why I lost my temper with Bella, knowing the hypocrisy of it, but I just couldn't reign it in. It hurt so bad to know that Bella, _my Bella_, was with another guy.

I hung up on her. I had _never_ hung up on Bella before.

The next day at school I saw Bella coming off the bus. I wanted to run over to her, beg her for forgiveness, plead with her to choose me over him... but I did none of it. Instead, I scowled in her direction and turned away, heading inside to find Tanya.

The morning went by smoothly. It was the first time I had ever been happy to find that Bella was in none of my classes. In all of the years prior we had tried desperately to match our schedules, but it hadn't worked out that way for our first semester of high school. I was thankful for that that morning, as I was desperate to avoid her.

I walked into the cafeteria at lunch and sat at a table with a couple of guys on the soccer team. Tryouts would be starting soon, and I figured I should get to know them—it wasn't ever in doubt that I would make the soccer team.

Not long after I sat down, Tanya sauntered in, and plopped down in my lap. If not for the overwhelming scent of her perfume, I doubt I would have noticed her there—she was on the top of my 'most likely to be anorexic' list.

I could barely mutter a 'hello' before she was assaulting my lips with a heinous PDA—the kind I hated to witness, and as I would learn, hated even more to be involved in.

I could sense the eyes in the room turn in our direction, and as uncomfortable as it made me, I have to admit, it also made me a little cocky. Tanya was hot, probably the hottest chick in the building (Bella, not included... she wasn't hot, she was beautiful).

I was pulled from the live-action porno by a hand grabbing my shoulder, and jerking my head away from Tanya's. I looked to see who the culprit was, and saw an insanely angry Bella. It took me a moment to remember that I was supposed to be mad at her.

"What the Hell, Bella?!" I exclaimed, trying my best to make sure that my responses were publicly appropriate for the situation. She fumed at me.

"My sentiments exactly!" she gestured between me and Tanya, and for the first time, I realized she had caught me in the act. "Care to share?" she asked. I was mortified.

"What is this, Edward? Who the fuck are you?" Tanya screamed. I almost forgot she had a voice. It sounded very shrill in direct comparison with Bella's.

"I guess I'm not the only one with a secret, hey Eddie?" Bella asked me. I rolled my eyes. I hate being called 'Eddie', and she knows it. I fought for words. I didn't have an excuse.

"It's not the same thing," I responded, lamely. I was searching for something, anything, to use in my own defence. "You lied to me!" was all I could come up with.

"And you didn't lie to me?" she asked, incredulous. I shook my head, deciding to stay with this line of defence.

"I didn't say I was hanging out with some guy named Joe back in Chicago, Bella."

"You also didn't tell me you were eating someone's face in Chicago. Who the hell is this?" I turned my gaze to the floor, knowing she was right. I was being a hypocrite. I was about to respond, but Tanya beat me to it.

"I'm his girlfriend." Shit.

"Really? His girlfriend?" Bella asked, her tone condescending. "Tell me, girlfriend, how long have you guys been dating?" And, the kicker...

"All summer. We're family friends, and since we were moving here, Edward asked me to date him." She sounded very smug, and I wanted to throw her off my lap and tell her to look around—we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto!

Before I had a chance to defend myself, Bella was gone. She had shot me one last angry glare before storming out of the cafeteria. I jumped up, nearly knocked Tanya on her ass, and ran after Bella. I was vaguely aware of the stares and murmurs from our classmates, but I didn't care. I had to talk to her.

I chased her down, finally catching up with her outside. I grabbed her arm to try to get her to stop running away from me.

"Fuck off!" Bella yelled. She had never said that to me before. I loosened my grip, but didn't want to let go. I couldn't just let her run away.

"What the Hell is your problem, Bella?" I was angry, but mostly at myself. I knew what her problem was, and she had every right to be mad.

"What's _my_ problem? Fuck, Edward! You're such a fucking hypocrite! You got SO angry with me because I lied to you, meanwhile you were doing the exact same thing!" She was right. I didn't know what to say, but I was mad, so I just let adrenaline take over.

"Oh, give it a fucking rest, Bella. My relationship with Tanya is nothing like yours. I care about her." I didn't care about her all that much, to be honest, but I had to say _something_. Bella turned to look at me, her stare smoldering.

"You know _nothing_ about my relationship, Edward Cullen." Her tone was so steady, even, low and intense, that it made me step back. I have to admit that in that moment, I was a little bit afraid of my little 5'4 best friend. I was further taken aback when she added, "In fact, you know nothing about me."

She turned abruptly and ran off, leaving me stunned. She hit me where it hurt the most, and I didn't have a damn thing I could say. I was an asshole. I was a hypocrite. I didn't deserve her.

That night I had to explain my friendship with Bella to Tanya, who was incensed after the altercation at lunch. She was terribly embarrassed, having some, and I quote, "Low class, dirty, greasy bitch," come and stake claim on, "Her territory".

It was that night that Tanya demanded I never speak to Bella again.

My first instinct was to argue, and tell her that she meant nothing to me, especially not when compared with Bella. But then I remembered the promise I had made to my Grandfather on his death bed, and I bit my tongue.

I knew I would miss Bella immensely, and I would probably regret the decision every single day of my life, but I considered that maybe it would just be easier this way. Maybe I could leave my friendship with Bella in my past, and it would be easier for me to make my Grandfather and the rest of my family proud. I had been given an easy out of the relationship that my parents had lamented for years—did I dare not take it?

The decision was made a few weeks later when Bella tried to talk to me at school. My first instinct was to immediately take her into my arms, apologize relentlessly, and return to the way things were—but then Tanya stepped in, making me choose then and there.

I thought of my Grandfather. I stopped. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. I turned away from Bella.

It had to be done.

* * *

**A/N:**So, just like many of you were hoping, a bit of the EPOV—and just so you know, here's my plan: EPOV up until the present, and then into general POV so we get the full present story at once.

One quick announcement: in little over a week, this has officially become my longest story ever! How did it happen? I have no clue. It was a little oneshot, 4000 words, but you guys have been just so incredible with reviews since the beginning that I had to continue.

I want to thank you again for all of the reviews. They really do just make my day, and they make this so fun to write. I'm really excited about this fic, and it's largely because of you guys. To quote Taylor Lautner, "Doing it all for the fans!" :P Just kidding. I do it for the booze and hookers.

As always, reviews are VERY much appreciated. You guys rock, hardcore. Thanks so much for reading =D


	9. The Rules

_EPOV_

For most of that year, I buried myself in my schoolwork, my girlfriend, and my soccer. I knew that if I took a moment to lift my head out of the haze, that I would realize what I colossal mistake I had made, so I just kept the blinders on.

I noticed Bella every time I was in the same vicinity as her. It was like there was a magnetic field that forced my eyes in her direction, but she never seemed to notice me.

Those first couple of months, I ached to reach out and join her. She had become a loner, only occasionally making conversation with classmates. Usually she would sit by herself in the corner of the cafeteria with a book and her headphones, blocking out the world. I knew that if things hadn't changed between us, it would have been just us two in that corner, but we would have be talking, laughing and horsing around like always. It hurt me to see her so alone.

But I couldn't allow myself to focus on her. I had to move past my childish crush, and move in a direction that would please my family. For the first time since I could remember, my parents were happy with me. My life at home had done a complete 180. They loved Tanya. They loved that I was pulling in some of the top grades in the class. They loved that I seemed to be going in the direction that would lead me to embrace their lifestyle.

I didn't, though. At least not internally. On the outside I'm sure I looked just like every other rich, preppy, pretty boy around—with a hot blond on my arm, Ivy League calibre grades, and a thriving social life. On the inside I felt numb. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, desperately, but the cost was so high. I tried not to think about it.

It was April of that year when I walked in on Tanya and Mike Newton half naked in the school locker room. I have to admit that I was a little happy to have a way out of that relationship that my parents wouldn't berate me for. I had done my best to love Tanya, and had put on the mask of the perfect, doting boyfriend, but I had never really been happy with her.

When I told my parents that I had broken up with Tanya, they were angry with _me_. They told me that I should have forgiven her for her mistake, and taken her back. They changed their tune immensely when word got out that Tanya was knocked up. Suddenly they couldn't have been happier that I had dumped that trash before she could ruin my reputation right along with hers.

If I didn't bear the burden of being their son, I probably would have found my parents' devotion to reputation hilarious.

After breaking up with Tanya, everything changed. Suddenly I found myself constantly being trailed by a group of girls who were always all over me. They were all nameless, faceless blurs in my mind. I had no interest in any of them, or intention of ever giving them what they wanted.

It wasn't long after the breakup that the rumours started.

It was a slow build. One or two girls here and there would insinuate that I had slept with them. It didn't really bother me, since all it did was make the guys around school like me even more. But it wasn't long before the rumours got out of control. I was insanely relieved for freshman year to end so I could escape the endless stories of my supposed trysts with half of the female student body.

When I returned after that summer, I expected that the rumours would have dissipated. I was shocked to find that they had only increased over the break. Suddenly, I had had week long excursions with girls, who discussed in great detail everything about our illicit affairs. It had gotten to the point that even when I bothered to deny a rumour, no one would believe me. I decided just to ignore them and let them play out, and hope that none of them got back to my parents. I'm sure they wouldn't be quite as impressed as my soccer buddies.

The funny thing is, I was exactly the opposite of how people at school perceived me. I hadn't had sex since my relationship with Tanya, and had no intentions of doing so until I was committed again, which, lets face it, was _not_ in the cards for me. That relationship had just drained me so much that I was relishing my freedom, and relishing the ability to not have to lie about my feelings. I didn't have to engage in sickening PDA's; I didn't have to act proud when my girlfriend did something nice, that any normal human being would have done (somehow, when she did it, it was special)... I could just relax. It was nice.

I hadn't tried to mend my friendship with Bella after breaking up with Tanya. I assumed that at that point she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me anyhow, so I decided to avoid the trouble. That was part of the reason. The other part was the fact that I really liked that my parents weren't being so hard on me anymore, and as much as they will continue to deny it to this day, I knew very well that it was because I wasn't devoting my time to Bella anymore.

I had also discovered that it was much easier to keep away from Bella if I just focused on being angry with her. Her minor infraction had multiplied exponentially in my mind. I had let it sit there and germinate, in such a way that I felt justified in being angry with her. It was so much easier to hate her than it was to love her, and know I could never be with her.

I bit back the relief I felt when early in our sophomore year, Bella finally found some friends. She had moved from her normal spot in the corner of the cafeteria to sit with two people. I recognized the guy as Jasper Whitlock, he was a year ahead of us. I didn't recognize the girl, but she was tiny, so I assumed she was a freshman. Bella seemed so happy to be with friends.

I just sat back and let the anger grow.

About a year after my breakup with Tanya, I found myself, once again, being trailed by a desperate girl at a party. I think her name was Lauren, but I can't be totally sure—she's just one of the many, many pathetic girls who thought they could 'tame the beast' that didn't actually exist inside of me. For some reason, this night it thoroughly irritated me, moreso than usual. Maybe it was because I had had a few drinks, or maybe it was just because I was just plain sick of it... I'm not sure. Either way, I admit I was a little hard on her. I barely felt even a twinge of remorse when she collapsed crying into the arms of another guy.

I escaped out onto the balcony, just desperate for some air. The house was stuffy, as was typical for a party like that one. I breathed deeply. It was cold out, at the tail end of winter—but it was refreshing. I was startled when I heard someone behind me.

I turned, and was shocked to see that the person was Bella.

As I stood out there on the balcony that night, a hairs breadth away from Bella, I could feel all of those old feelings coming back to me. The blinders were beginning to slip off, and I just couldn't hold them in place. Bella was there. Bella was talking to me.

And, God, she looked beautiful.

In the year that had gone by, Bella had changed and matured so much. The remainder of her baby fat (which I had always thought was rather adorable) had melted off, leaving her face with an older, slimmer, more elegant quality. Her lips seemed to have plumped ever so slightly, and I could see that she had begun to use a slightly more liberal amount of make-up—nothing extravagant, just enough to make her lips look shinier, and her eyes pop. She looked positively stunning, and I was left breathless for a moment.

Then I remembered that she hated me, and that I was angry with her, and my mood dimmed.

The conversation started out awkwardly, and we both had trouble keeping it civil. I felt very guarded around her, knowing that beyond having the capacity to break my heart, she also knew who I truly was, and after a year of trying to hide it, that scared the shit out of me. What if she let every one know that I wasn't the same guy that they thought they knew? What if she outed me? How would I hold up? I tried to bite back these fears, but they played heavily on my mind with every word spoken.

As the conversation slowly progressed, I almost became comfortable with it, but that's when she mentioned the rumours. I was hurt, immensely, that she believed them. I had always assumed that _she_ would know the truth, if no one else ever did. _She_ would always know the real me.

I suppose that was a silly thing to assume, considering I hadn't spoken a word to her in a year and a half. It was my own damn fault that she believed those rumours. I suddenly felt defeated.

"Fuck, Bella. I don't care. Just, believe whatever you want. It doesn't matter," I said. I collapsed back into the lawn chair that I had claimed at the beginning of the conversation, and waited for her to make some scathing remark regarding those rumours. I was surprised when she actually seemed to care that I was upset by them.

For the first time, someone actually _asked me_ if they were true, and _believed me_ when I denied them.

It was like I could breathe again.

The conversation seemed to ease from that point. Somehow, we got onto the topic of each other's sex lives, and I found it mildly fascinating. After not speaking for so long, it seemed very strange to me that our conversation would be about something so personal.

I can't totally explain what it was that made me ask Bella to make that agreement with me. When Bella admitted how badly she wanted to have sex, I had to admit that I really, really did too. We had found something that we could relate on. My mind went into overdrive, considering all of the options available to me, and all of the pros and cons of each.

I fought with the idea, initially, questioning if a monogamous, but purely sexual arrangement with Bella would actually break the promise I had made to my grandfather. I determined that it wouldn't. He had asked me not to marry someone unlike us—he had never said anything about who I could and couldn't fuck.

Secondly, I had to admit that I just wanted Bella in my life, someway, somehow. After so long without her, I was craving her presence. I thought that maybe this would be a way to have her in my life without all of the drama associated with it. My parents wouldn't have to know. I could pretend that nothing was going on, and secretly have my best friend back.

But then I considered the fact that Bella truly seemed to hate me, and that thought stung. I had never truly hated Bella. Any bad feelings I had for her were purely a result of my own stubbornness, and desire to stop loving her. I wasn't sure if I could handle being with her so intimately, knowing that she didn't feel the same way.

But then, like it often seems to do, my mouth made a decision before my brain did. Four simple words escaped my lips before I could stop them, and as it would turn out, those for words altered both my and Bella's lives significantly.

"Do it with me."

That's all I said. Just, "Do it with me."

I was, at first, shocked that I had said those words. I was even more shocked when she agreed.

That night we parted ways with our agreement in place, and I couldn't bite back the excitement that I felt at the knowledge that the next day I would have Bella. She would be in my house, in my bed, in my arms the way I had always wanted her. My enthusiasm was bordering on giddiness—I had to keep it down, otherwise someone would notice.

I probably should have considered the long-term effects of such an arrangement before suggesting it. If I had, maybe I could have avoided feeling the way I do now: defeated, lonely, heartsick.

Maybe I could have avoided hurting the one person who has _always_ matter the most to me.

But I didn't think those things at the time. And when Bella came the next day, I felt even more sure of myself. My first time with Bella had been the best time for me, period. I couldn't think of anything that compared to the feeling of being encased within her, or the feeling of my lips on hers, my tongue in her mouth, my hands on her body. It was incredible.

When Bella left that afternoon with the promise of returning the next day, I waited approximately two minutes after she left, before allowing a small squeal of excitement to leave my lips. This would actually work. I was going to have Bella in my life again. That thought kept my excitement at an all-time high until she returned.

I was practically giddy when I saw her outside my bedroom window the next day. After coaxing her through the window, I was just desperate to have her again. I had immediately become addicted to her taste, her smell, her touch. I couldn't bear to keep my hands off of her. I almost wondered if I would be able to do that when there were witnesses around.

I sat on the bed, my knee bopping up and down with unbridled excitement. I couldn't hold back my grin as she joined me on the bed, swinging her backpack off her shoulders. I was momentarily confused. Why had she brought her backpack?

"Are we studying?" I asked, not catching on. She shook her head, and I grinned, "Good," I said, taking hold of her backpack and setting it on the floor. It had been too long since I had touched her last, and I didn't think I could wait another moment. I leaned in to catch her lips—the lips that I had been dreaming about for the past 24 hours, when she pulled away. It was irritating. I didn't want to wait. I had waited too long.

"What the Hell are you doing, Bella?" I couldn't keep the anxious irritation out of my voice. I hoped desperately that she hadn't changed her mind. I didn't think I would be able to give her up again. She just held up a finger, indicating for me to wait, and began rifling through her bag. I tried to be patient, but it was more difficult than I would have liked to admit. She finally came out with a pad of paper, and thrust it into my hands. I glanced over it, not really taking a good long look, but took note of the simple title: "Rules".

"What is this?" I asked. She laid both of her hands in her lap, very business like, and I suddenly felt like I was in a job interview. It was uncomfortable.

"They're rules. We didn't really talk the other day about what this is all going to entail. I realized that we need to set some ground rules before this goes any further, so we can avoid any... embarrassing situations."

Shit. I hadn't considered that she would want to regulate our agreement.

"And these are your rules?" I asked. She nodded.

"I think they'll help keep things straight. Feel free to add to the list if you think I missed anything." I sighed heavily. I realized that if I didn't take into consideration what she wanted, then this arrangement wouldn't work, and I would have to deal with potentially losing her again. With that knowledge, I finally took a good look at the list.

"Rule number one," I said aloud. I read the rule, and immediately a woman's voice entered my head saying 'OH NO SHE DI'ENT!' "Only at Edward's house? Why the fuck does it have to be here?" I demanded. So many things had the capacity to go wrong. It would be _very_ bad if my parents _ever_ found out about this.

Her response was very... rehearsed.

"Because your bedroom is on a different floor, on the opposite side of the house from your parents' bedroom; whereas my parents live across the hall."

Well... it made sense, I guess. But it still didn't take into consideration that my parents were the ones who would shit a brick if they knew I was even talking to her again.

"And it also ensures that the only person who can get caught by their parents is me," I said. She rolled her eyes, as though it was a ridiculous concern.

"You know very well that if we get caught, your parents will call mine, just like mine would call yours. It's not a trap, Edward." I just sighed and shook my head. No point arguing with her.

"Fine. Whatever. But it's _not_ always going to be here." I didn't care if we had to do it in a patch of poison ivy—I could _not_ risk getting caught all of the time. Do you have any idea what a boner-kill that is?

"If you have another place in mind, you're welcome to suggest it," she said. I just rolled my eyes and opted to move on. If we debated every rule like this, we would never get to the good part.

"Whatever. Rule number two, no one at school can know." Of course they couldn't. If people at school knew then it would likely be all over town within an hour. I couldn't risk having that happen to my reputation, _or_Bella's. We weren't out there skanking around—we were in a monogamous relationship. Anyone else would clearly misinterpret that. "Obviously," I said, moving on.

"Rule three. If we start to like someone, or want to date someone, deal's off. I thought the whole point in doing this was so we could avoid the whole 'dating' issue."

"It is, but sometimes things change." I shrugged. Whatever.

"I guess. Rule four: this is not therapy, just sex. No mentions of the past." I swallowed hard after this one, rereading it a few times. If it hadn't been clear before that Bella did not want to work things out, it certainly was after reading that rule.

I had hoped that we would be able to mend our relationship. My life was just not as good without Bella in it—but I guess her life was just fine. I decided to suck it up and move on.

"Rule five: we are not friends." As if I needed a reminder. I shot her a bit of a dirty look (I know it's childish, but these rules were starting to upset me). "That's not a rule," I said, indignantly.

"No, it's a clarification. This doesn't change anything between us, Edward. You need to know that." I decided to play it cool. I didn't want her to know that these rules were actually affecting me.

"You say it like I thought it would." She just shrugged.

"You never know. I'm just making sure we're on the same page here."

"Reading you loud and clear," I said, trying my best to keep the hurt out of my voice. I internally shook it off, and moved onto the next, and last one.

"Six: If one of us wants out, that's it. No questions asked." I flung the legal pad away. "Fine."

"Fine? All of them?" she asked. I didn't have anything to say, so I just repeated myself.

"Fine."

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before she asked me if I wanted to add to the list. I took a moment to mentally berate myself for being so obvious with my emotions, feeling like she had to know by now how I felt. I hated being transparent.

I decided to try to lighten the mood. I had agreed to her terms, though I didn't like them. I decided it would be a good idea to try to get back to the mood I had felt when she first came through my window—excited. I breathed deeply, and exhaled, imagining all of my disappointment leaving with the breath, and I set to change the tone of the conversation.

I suggested something silly—like I would have back when we were friends. A code word. Nothing serious. Nothing life-altering. Just a code so that we would know if the other person was interested.

Once we had hashed out that plan, I decided it was time to get the show on the road. It had definitely been much too long since I touched her last. I could barely contain myself as I surged forward, finally tasting her beautiful neck under my tongue.

She laid out on the bed underneath me, and I relished in the feeling of her soft skin under my lips. She tasted exquisite. I lavished her neck with licks and kisses, before finally doing what I had dreamed about all night. I kissed her. It was long, hard and needy. I groaned into her mouth when she granted my tongue access, and I could have drowned in the feeling of our tongues dueling within her mouth. It was exactly what I needed to shake off the lasting unease from the rules.

I hooked one arm around her neck, and the other around her waist, and flipped us over so she was on top of me. She straddled my lap, while I laid on my back with my feet dangling off the side of the bed. She sat up, and I took in her slightly dishevelled beauty over me.

She ground into my rapidly grown erection, and I couldn't help but moan her name.

"God, Bella," I moaned, grasping her hips and dragging her over me again. The contact felt incredible, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was addicted to this girl. Everything she did felt incredible. Every move she made threatened to push me over the edge. I was totally in love with her, and as per her rules, I knew I could never tell her so.

Instead of letting that break my stride, I just channelled the feeling into the moment. Her hands had begun to creep under my shirt while she grinded back and forth on top of me, creating the most incredible friction.I gasped when her nails began to trail from my lower abdomen to just under the waist of my pants. She slowly brought her fingers together in the middle, and popped the button.

Suddenly, the distance was too much.

I sat up, and kissed her soundly, while my hands rushed to the hem of her shirt. I pulled away just long enough to pull it over her head, before returning to her mouth.

I unhooked her bra, and allowed my hands to explore the expanse of her back before pulling it off her shoulders and discarding it. I loved her skin. It was so soft and warm. I lowered my mouth from hers, and took a nipple in my mouth, loving the way she breathed my name as I rolled it between my lips, and nipped at it lightly. She grasped my hair in her hands, and held my face to her chest as I gave the other nipple the same treatment, and all the while she continued to grind against me.

I could sense that she was working herself up, just by grinding. Her movements were steady, and constant, and rhythmical. Her moans became louder and more needy as she began to grind harder. I grasped her butt, and helped drag her over me. It felt amazing. I watched her face as she began to let go, and relished in the knowledge that this beautiful woman has just worked herself into a frenzy on top of me. She wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders and threw her head back as she came with my name on her lips. It was beautiful to witness.

She began to slow her pace on my lap, but didn't stop entirely. As I had been watching her, my erection had grown to near painful proportions, and I was desperate to be inside of her, to find my release.

"Fuck, Bella. I need you," I moaned into her throat. She moaned in response, and rapidly began trying to pull my shirt over my head. I stood us both up, and pulled my shirt off, before removing my jeans. She took the hint, and removed her own remaining garments.

Finally, when we were both naked, I took in the view of her body. She was simply stunning, and I could hardly believe that this woman had agreed to be with me—well... at least, to be monogamous with me. I doubted that she would ever change her mind about the state of our relationship, but I decided I would take what I could get.

Finally, I laid her down on the bed, put a condom in place, and entered her. Her juices from her first self-induced orgasm made me slide in easily, and the feeling was even better than it had been the first time. She was so slick, so ready for me, and it just made it all the more intense.

I set a quick pace, knowing that I wouldn't last too long after the way she had been riding me just moments before. She bucked up against me, allowing me to go deeper, and hit harder with every thrust.

It wasn't long before I felt my own orgasm begin to build, and just when I was in fear that I would come before her, she began to spasm around me. She moaned my name, bringing me up even faster. At the very tail end of her orgasm, I found my own release. I thrust hard into her as I came, before collapsing off to the side. Once again, like the day before, she took only a moment to compose herself before climbing out of the bed, dressing, and heading to the window.

"I still hate you," she said, once again. Each time, it was like a jab in the gut. I just shrugged it off and made a scathing remark in return, before watching her climb out the window and leave.

The knowledge that Bella hated me still, despite our arrangement, hurt me deeply, but I ignored it. I would have her however she would give herself to me. Goodness knows, I had earned every bit of her hatred. I would let her feel whatever she wanted to feel, just so long as I could have her in my life again.

I loved her. No amount of hatred on her part could change that.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, this was a hard chapter to write. I don't want to be too repetitive, because I personally find it boring to repeat stories over and over again. But then, there are certain moments that I think you just need to have from Edward's perspective.

The original version of this chapter replayed the entire arrangement-making scene, and I just thought, "Nope, way too much." So I cut it down to get to the really important part with the rules. Think of it as a sale: 3 chapters for the price of 1 :P

My apologies to anyone who found this chapter to be too repetitive. I promise the next couple will be totally new material. On the bright side, you did get a brand new lemon =D

Thanks for reading guys. As always, reviews are very much appreciated.


	10. The Cure to what Ails You

_EPOV_

As time progressed, it seemed that the small rapport I had managed to build with Bella had dissipated. After the rules had been set, we barely spoke at all before, during, or after our engagements. A few mumbled greetings here and there were usually the most I could get out of her. It was disheartening.

But I couldn't stop the way my heart began to beat faster whenever she tapped at my window. I couldn't stop the way my mouth always threatened to curve into a smile as she bit her lip with irritation whenever I hesitated to let her in. I loved getting a reaction from her—something to prove that she was aware of me.

After a few months passed, our encounters had become very predictable, like clockwork. Everything followed the same course of events, without much variation. Inevitably, at 10PM, Bella would climb through my window, we would make a few remarks, but nothing of any consequence, and we would move onto the main event.

I didn't mind that we got to the show without much delay, but I did miss the progress I thought I had made with her. Even though she had clearly stated that we weren't going to be friends again, I still held out hope that with time she would change her mind. Unfortunately, things seemed to be going in the opposite direction. It almost seemed like she liked me _less_ than she did before we started.

I didn't try to end the arrangement early on, though, because I was still desperate to have her in my life however she would agree to be there. I wanted her, and I didn't know how else to get her, but to be the source of release that she seemed to so desperately need.

Not to complain, though. I always enjoyed the arrangement with Bella. She was a giving partner, and she made sure that my needs were always met, and that I was always satisfied. As a result, I wanted to do the same for her. I made an effort to learn what made her tick. I could live happily for the rest of my life if I continued to have a chance to hear her soft moans, and my name on her lips in ecstasy. She was a drug to me. She made me feel worthy, complete.

And then she would get out of bed, pull on her clothes, declare her hatred for me, and leave.

The first few times it happened, it bothered me deeply. After a few weeks though, I made a conscious effort to ignore those statements. I tried to tell myself that it was just a defence mechanism, and that she would come around eventually.

She never did, though. Still, more than a year later, the last words I typically hear from Bella's lips are, "I still hate you."

It's very frustrating.

Regardless of all of this though, sex with Bella was always incredible. I tried not to ask her to come over too often, although if I had had it my way, she would have spent every night in my bed. I usually kept my requests to once or twice a week, as did she. I didn't want her to think that I was desperate to have her there... even if I was.

When Bella would come over, I made sure that my job was done well. I knew that the only thing tying her to our deal was the promise of release, and I made sure that she always found one.

About six months ago, I noticed that Bella looked very upset at school. I knew I couldn't ask her about it, because that would break the damn rules, but I tried to consider what I could do for her to make her feel better. It had always been my job to cheer her up when she was down, fix her when she was broken. One of the hardest things I'd had to face in my separation from her was the aching need to comfort her and be her shoulder. Once we started our arrangement, that need became even more pronounced.

So that day, I did the only thing I could think of. I strolled by her while she sat looking dejected on a bench, I mumbled a quiet greeting to her, waited just long enough for a reply, and made my exit. I knew she wouldn't stand to have me hanging around her trying to get her to talk about it, so I just extended the offer for her to come over.

The best part of that plan was that she went away thinking that I had done it for myself. No pathetic desperation to be her shoulder to cry on, no lamenting the loss of the old days, just my own personal need for sex. It was the only way I could think to get her near me without her feeling awkward about it.

When Bella knocked on my window that night, I let her in without hesitation. She gave me a strange look, and had obviously been expecting me to be difficult like usual. I decided it would be best not to explain myself, and just set to work on achieving my goal for the night.

"Take your clothes off," I told her. She looked like she was about to argue, but I turned away from her and walked toward my bureau. I grabbed a lighter and lit a few candles—nothing excessive, just some ambience—and then I clicked off the overhead light, casting a warm, comfortable glow over the room. When I turned back, Bella was watching me with confusion, still fully clothed.

"What's the matter?" I asked, slowly making my way toward her. She bit her lip.

"What's all this about?" she asked. I shrugged as I reached her, slipping her cardigan off her shoulders and allowing it to fall to the floor.

"Just trying something new," I said. She swallowed hard, and I could tell that the mood I had set was affecting her. She stood there quietly while I pulled my shirt off, and then removed the rest of her clothes. Once she was fully undressed, I pulled her close to me, and began to drag my lips over her neck, trying to covertly sneak a smell of her refreshing scent—lavender and freesia.

"I've been desperate to have you all fucking day," I murmured into her ear. I could feel the skin of her arms rise up in goosebumps as I trailed my fingers lightly over her. I was doing my best to be as seductive as I knew how to be, and was pleased that it was working. I wanted to make her forget whatever was troubling her, and just force her to focus on the moment.

I grabbed her backside and pulled her against me, allowing her to feel my growing erection. I took great joy in the small gasp that escaped her lips, as I bit down lightly on her neck at the same time. Slowly, I returned my lips to her ear and whispered, "Go lie down on the bed." I took a step back from her, and she shot me a quick, dark, lust-filled glance before slipping by me and doing as I asked. I pulled my belt free from my pants and undid them, allowing them to pool at my ankles. I opted to leave my boxers in place for the time being.

Finally, when I turned, I was greeted by the most beautiful sight. Bella, laying back on the bed, with her body lit in the most sinful ways by the candlelight. The shadows bounced across her ivory skin as the flames quivered. I had to swallow hard, or I wouldn't have been able to breathe. She was stunning.

I desperately wanted to tell her so. So I did.

"Edward..." she said, closing up slightly. Even in the dim light I could see the blush that formed on her cheeks. It made me want her even more.

"Shh," I said softly—opting to be polite. Rough, "Shut the fuck up's," wouldn't really help create the mood I was going for.

Slowly, I stalked toward the bed. It dipped under my weight as I kneeled down, hovering over her. Her breathing seemed to increase with the proximity, and I could feel the heat emanating from every inch of her body. I had to hold myself back from ravaging her quickly. I wanted to make it last.

Slowly, I ducked back down and lightly allowed my lips to dance across her collarbone, then dip a bit lower to caress the top of her breasts. I rested on one arm while I used the other hand to lightly brush her nipple in a circular motion. I relished the soft sighs that escaped her lips as she laid back and surrendered to the feeling. I looked up and saw that her eyes were closed, and that the frown lines that seemed to be permanently in place on her angelic face all day, were rapidly diminishing.

I was proud of my quick progress, but not satisfied.

I continued my quest downward, licking and kissing her breasts all over, before going further. I peppered small kisses all over her midsection, before parting her thighs a little wider, and settling in between them. I glanced up at her before beginning, and found that her eyes were still closed, and her breathing was steady. I wondered if I had lulled her to sleep. I decided that that would simply not do.

Finally, I allowed myself to taste what I had been longing for all day. I licked her clit very lightly, delighting in the small, barely audible gasp that it drew from her lips. I allowed a gradual rise and fall in the flicks of my tongue, alternating between soft and slow, fast and hard, and soft, longing kisses. I drew her into my mouth and allowed myself to taste her completely, before dipping downward, and entering her shallowly with my tongue. She gasped at the feeling of me inside of her, and writhed slightly at the sensation.

I returned to her clit, while allowing my fingers to take my tongue's place inside of her. I wanted to relax her, so I was slow and calculating in my movements, alternating between shallow and deep, always soft and methodical. I loved the way her breathy moans had begun to come out in the form of my name. I loved that she still hadn't opened her eyes, and that she looked like a mix between utter peace, and utter pleasure.

After a few moments, I felt her hands in my hair, lightly digging into my scalp, pulling me closer to her. It made my erection even more painful then it already was to know that she was guiding my movements, aiding in her own release.

Finally, when she came, it was with a low moan that sounded like ecstasy mixed with utter relaxation. As she came down from her high, I could physically feel her body relax beneath me as I moved up to capture her lips with my own.

As I kissed her, she allowed her tongue to explore my mouth. I kissed her with passion, but not too hard. I wanted to keep her relaxed. I didn't want this to change to anything too hurried, too needy. I wanted her to leave feeling like she'd just had the greatest massage of her life. I wanted her to feel like she could crawl into bed that night a pile of goo, and wake up the next morning totally refreshed, and completely over whatever had made her feel so horribly all day.

I loved that I seemed to be accomplishing that goal.

Finally, after kissing her for several moments, I felt her hands explore the expanse of my back before settling at the waistband of my boxers. She pushed them down as far as she could, before I got up to remove them completely.

When I looked down from where I stood, she was looking at me through hooded eyes, biting her lip very lightly, while her right hand had drifted down to tease her own clit. The sight made me stop in my tracks. I was momentarily enraptured by the vision of her pleasing herself, in my room, on my bed, in front of me. It was the most erotic thing I'd ever experienced.

I desperately didn't want to break the trance I was in, but when she whimpered my name, begging me to come to her, I couldn't dare refuse her. I quickly returned to my position on top of her, and entered her in one slow movement.

I waited a moment once I was fully encased in her, just enjoying the feeling of her inner walls fitting around me. We fit so magnificently, I could barely imagine ever being with someone else. Nothing had ever felt so _right_.

Slowly, I began to move. I loved the feeling of our skin-to-skin contact. Ever since she had decided that a condom was no longer necessary, I had become addicted to the feeling of being sheathed, naked, within her. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I couldn't find a single thing worthy of comparison. It was like Heaven.

As I moved within her, I couldn't help the small moans that escaped my lips in tandem with those from hers. It was euphoric, and I knew I could have stayed inside of her forever.

After a few moments, I began to speed up, with no conscious thought. I just couldn't keep the slow, methodical pace any longer. I needed her so badly. My release was being held off, and I knew that if I just gave in, I could come at any moment. I was desperate, though, to have her come first. Always. I would never allow us to finish without her being completely satisfied.

Within a few moments, Bella began panting lightly, allowing my name to escape her lips in a long string. I was overtaken immediately by the need to come inside of her, as hearing her say my name was the sexiest thing I could have ever imagined. Just as I felt her begin to spasm around me, I came inside of her with a hard thrust. I grunted through my last few strokes, before finally falling out of her and rolling to the side.

When I took in her disheveled visage, the one thing that was completely apparent was that whatever had been plaguing her earlier that day, was completely out of her mind. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back, and bit back a smile. I was so happy to have made her forget whatever had upset her.

Like always, she quickly climbed out of bed after coming down from her high, and dressed. She turned to me just before climbing out the window. I fully expected the typical, "I hate you," that I had become accustomed to over the past several months.

Instead, she surprised me.

"Thanks, Edward," she said. "I needed that."

And with that, she was gone, and I couldn't have picked my jaw up off the ground if I'd had an industrial strength scooper. She hadn't said she hated me. She had thanked me.

I went to sleep that night with a grin on my face that rivaled the one I had held after our first time together. It had been the first time that I really felt happy with our arrangement. I thought that maybe Bella was finally coming around.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

* * *

**A/N:** Enjoy this, because, well, depending on how invested you are in these characters, the next chapter is gonna depress the hell out of you.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading everyone =D


	11. The Casualties

_EPOV_

The opportunities to do nice things like that for Bella were few and far between, and I often found myself fighting to find anything I could use to draw her out of her shell once again. I had been enthralled by her that night, and I was desperate to have that kind of reaction from her again. Unfortunately, after that our nights returned to the usual. Once again, she started declaring her hatred for me before leaving.

I was beginning to lose hope that our friendship would ever be mended. That she would ever see me as anything more than just the guy she fucks.

Things changed that day when Heidi nearly attacked Bella in the hallway. My first reaction to seeing Bella that day was the typical awe that I felt for her. Unfortunately, that awe led me to miss what had led to a confrontation between her and one of the more volatile members of the pack of wild were-chicks that followed me around.

It didn't even occur to me that it would be strange for me to step in before Bella got hurt. My natural inclination had always been to protect her. I wasn't about to just stand by and let her get trashed by this gang of rabid bitches.

The entire group of girls gaped at me when I spoke up. Heidi was livid, but I didn't care. All I saw was Bella making a hasty getaway, and that my chance to make sure she was alright was leaving with her. I lashed out at Heidi, explaining that it was a very _obvious_ accident when Bella had bumped into her. I was about to race after Bella, when Heidi stopped me in my tracks.

"Fuck that, Cullen. You hate her just as much as I do," she exclaimed. I stopped, livid. I suppose there were many things I could have said. I could have kept up my end of the facade and said, "Yea, of course I do," but in that moment, I couldn't bring myself to lie anymore.

"You don't know anything about how _I_ feel," I growled. With that, I burst away from the group, hastily making my way in the direction that Bella had gone.

That day marked a significant change in my public relationship with Bella. It almost hurt that she had been so shocked when I defended her, but it also made me really happy to see that she was happy that I had done so. I could tell that she actually kind of cared what I did, and as far as I was concerned, that was a major step forward for us.

As the weeks went by, we talked at school nearly every day. I kept the conversations light, assuming she wouldn't be down with anything any major, deep discussions, but I relished every moment that I got to talk to her without any articles of clothing being torn off at the same time. I finally felt like I was able to _communicate_ with her for the first time since I had made that ludicrous promise to my grandfather.

That was another thing that I fought with, within myself. I debated constantly if it was a promise worth keeping. But I felt madly bound to it, based on the simple fact that it was an oath made while he was dying. Had his dying wish really been for me to marry a rich girl? Or had he just wanted me to be happy, and misinterpreted what would actually achieve that?

I would have liked to think that my grandfather, wherever he was, wouldn't want me to suffer. I decided to try to use the small conversations to mend my friendship with Bella, and continue with our arrangement in hopes that at some point the two distinct parts of our relationship would meet, and I would finally be able to have her as a stable, wonderful part of my life again.

Unfortunately, despite progress I seemed to be making in the public sphere, things were going south in the private sector. Our greetings had been cut short, our sex had become more desperate and intense, and while it was always physically satisfying, I was left even more emotionally exhausted afterward than I already had been. It was truly beginning to take its toll.

Tonight when Bella came over, it was business as usual. I needed her, and I had no intention of letting even a second go to waste. I knew at the beginning that it would be just like every other time, and that when she left I would feel empty—but I did it anyway. I needed it. I needed that connection, even if she wasn't feeling the same way I was.

As we were joined tonight, though, something changed. I sat up, and guided her to her orgasm like usual, but as we came down from the mutual high, it was vastly different.

Bella didn't run away quickly. Instead she rested on top of me with me still fully enveloped by her. She allowed my hand to stay entangled in her long, soft hair, and didn't say a word when I took hold of her other hand, and clasped it tightly over my heart. She rested her forehead against mine, and we breathed in tandem for several moments.

Just when I assumed that the moment would end, and that she would run away, she leaned in and kissed me.

This kiss was very much different from any other kiss we'd shared. Even when we had been tender with each other, the kisses were still laced with need, and desire. Anytime I bestowed a soft, loving kiss upon her, it was always somewhere on her body, never on her lips.

This time, she kissed me softly, tenderly, and I instantly felt myself melt into it. It was the most intimate moment we had ever shared. I felt my heartbeat speed up, and I knew that this was it—this was how it had to be. I couldn't accept anything else.

Just when I was ready to deepen the kiss, and show her just how desperately I loved her and longed for her, she pulled away. We looked at each other for a moment, breathless, and in that instant I could swear I saw something other than hatred in her eyes.

But then the veil snapped over her once more, and she quickly removed herself from my embrace, mumbling something about needing to get home. I felt myself fall out of her, limply, and instantly felt my heart do the same. It dropped. The moment had ended, and it had broken me.

I watched her as she dressed, desperately trying to pull my heart back together, and failing with each attempt. I knew that I couldn't let it happen again. I knew that I could no longer bear the burden of loving someone so completely, who clearly would never love me back.

With a deep breath, I forced myself to say the words.

"I don't think we should do this anymore." She stopped, halfway out the window, and looked at me. I hoped my face didn't betray my emotions, but her reaction to my visage told me it did.

"Why not?" she asked. I couldn't hold her gaze. She looked upset, and it hurt me even more. I turned my gaze to my bed sheets, and began picking at them aimlessly, just to do _something_.

"I just don't know if it's a good idea anymore." I forced my eyes up, and saw that she looked mildly pained. I knew I couldn't handle her rejection, but her sadness almost made me hope that she would change her mind about us. "We hate each other, right?" I asked. I held my breath, waiting for the answer. The breath came out in a sharp exhale as she nodded.

"Right," she said. I tried to ignore the intense pressure in my chest. I tried to push it down. I breathed deeply, and let it out slowly. I steeled myself as well as I could, and forced myself to meet her eyes. They were unreadable through the haze of emotions I was experiencing.

"Then don't come back." I couldn't say any more than that. I don't think I could have forced another word from my lips. It hurt to say those four words. She just nodded, and climbed the rest of the way out the window. Well, at least she had followed her own rules.

Suddenly, the pain crashed over me, and I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving. I thought that maybe if I just told her I loved her, if I told her how much I needed her, that she would come back and tell me the same. Maybe she would change her mind about us. Maybe she would forgive me.

"Hey Bella?" I called after her. She stopped on the branch outside my window, but I couldn't see her face.

"What?" her voice was clipped, and I assumed she was angry with me for calling off the deal after over a year. I suppose it would be difficult for both of us to adjust to life without consistent sex, but I felt in that moment that it was quite clear that sex was all this was to her. I bit back my sobs and pleas, and sighed, defeated. She turned to look at me, and I met her eyes. Her expression clearly showed that I looked as devastated as I felt.

"Get home safe," I said. I couldn't say anything else. My voice threatened to shut down at any moment. She just nodded and made her way down the tree and out of view.

Once she was gone, I fell back onto my bed and began to breathe heavily. I felt like I was hyperventilating, and I couldn't control it. My chest felt so heavy, like something massive was laying on top of me.

Just when I thought I couldn't breathe anymore, choking sobs began to leave my throat. I didn't recognize the sounds I was making. I had never cried over anything before, and I didn't know how to handle it. I couldn't stop the tears as they began to escape from my eyes.

In that moment, I felt like my world had just caved in on me. I curled onto my side, not really caring about how pathetic I must have looked, lying naked in the fetal position, crying like a baby. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. I didn't have Bella. I never would.

Now, several hours after my breakdown, I'm just laying here. I can't move. I can't say a word. I can't do anything. I just feel completely empty, broken, used up. I'm not sure where I can go from here.

I should never have made that stupid agreement with Bella. I should have known that she would never return the feelings that I've always held for her. I should have known this would end in heartache, if not for just me, for both of us.

I can only hope that Bella truly does hate me, and that she isn't feeling as miserable as I am wherever she is right now. I hope she's sleeping soundly. I hope she's happy.

I hope I'll make it through the pain I'm feeling now. I just want to feel good again.

* * *

**A/N:**Hopefully you don't hate me! Lol. On the bright side, now we're actually going to move on from where we started 11 chapters ago! Lol.

Again, I'd like to thank you guys for all of the reviews. They're super-motivating. I think we'll probably hit 500 reviews with this chapter, and that is really exciting for me, and this seems like the most appropriate chapter for that particular milestone, so thank you in advance! Lol.

As always, reviews are very much appreciated. You guys are awesome =D

~Christie


	12. The Final Piece

_Third Person POV_

The next day Edward had to fight to pull himself out of bed. His head pounded like he had spent the last evening on a bender, and his face was still sticky from the tears that had been shed. He momentarily considered just staying in bed and avoiding the pain of seeing Bella at school, but he quickly banished that thought. Avoiding her would be worse than facing whatever would come head on.

He hoped that she would just leave him alone. He knew he couldn't convince her to be with him, and he knew that he had no right to even try. After all, it had been his fault that everything had gone so wrong in the first place. If he had just taken a moment to _think _before agreeing to his grandfather's request, he could have come up with a way to say no. If he had just had the balls to ignore Tanya and apologise to Bella like he had wanted to, she probably wouldn't hate him.

He reminded himself, for what seemed like the thousandth time, "This is your own fucking fault," before he climbed out of bed. He felt like a hole existed in his chest where his heart was supposed to be, and that hole ached relentlessly.

Once he had managed to get out of bed, he slipped into the shower, desperately hoping the spray would soothe his aching muscles and his pounding headache. When he first turned on the water, he realized just how filthy he was. He hadn't showered after the previous night's events, and he was covered in dried sweat. He could still smell Bella's scent lingering on his skin. He could still feel her sex on him. He closed his eyes and turned his face into the spray, wiping his hands over his face trying to clear the streaks left by the tears, before grabbing a bar of soap and scrubbing his body relentlessly. He didn't want the reminders. He wanted to forget that night had ever happened.

As he closed his eyes under the spray, all of the images that had haunted his fitful dreams soared back into vision: Bella's smile, her laugh, her moans, his name leaving her lips repeatedly. It did nothing to make him feel better. The way it caused his heart to hurt mixed painfully with the way it made his erection grow, and he was left feeling empty _and_ horny.

He took hold of himself and began pumping quickly. He tried to think of anyone other than Bella. He thought of supermodels, actresses—the all-time favourite, Princess Leia... none of it would do. It only made him hurt more when he realized that he could only reach his peak with images of Bella in his mind.

He finally came with her name on his lips. He rested his head against the cold wall of the shower and watched as his come mixed with the water as it went down the drain, along with the images that had brought him his release, and his hopes of ever having Bella in his arms again.

When he pulled himself out of the shower, he felt cleaner, but no happier than he had before. He was lost, and he didn't know where to start the search to find himself again.

~*~

Bella awoke that morning in a similar state. She had felt miserable the night before, and didn't know what else to do but ask Edward for an explanation, and beg him to reconsider. It made her feel weak and pathetic to let a man make her feel so vulnerable—especially a man like Edward Cullen.

While she had conceded to herself that she loved him, she was still very much convinced that he wanted nothing to do with her. She didn't know how he would react when she asked him to change his mind. She hoped he wouldn't be too hard on her.

She also wasn't convinced that she actually _wanted _anything to do with him_._ Ever since she had started feeling more for Edward, she had tried to push it back down. In doing so, she had begun to rehash everything that had gone wrong between them, and reminded herself of how awful he had been to her.

She was torn. On the one hand, she wanted nothing more than to love Edward, and be with him, and forgive him for everything that he had done wrong. On the other hand, she wanted to give him a hard smack upside the head, and demand he never come near her again. After the way he had made her feel, he deserved the latter.

The only thing she was sure of was that she didn't want their arrangement to end. As far as she was concerned, the arrangement was the best of both worlds. She could openly hate him all she wanted, but she could also play out her fantasies with him in private. She didn't want to let go of that.

The hardest part for Bella was that she couldn't make heads or tails of the way Edward had been treating her lately. He had done a 180, from openly hating her, to, for some reason, acting like he wanted to be her friend again. He had been making an effort to talk to her more, to try to find out more about her life. There were moments during their conversations at school when she caught glimpses of the boy Edward used to be. She believed he was still in there, buried underneath the hardened man he had become. She fought against the desire to continue to try to bring that boy out of hiding.

She couldn't deny that they had shared a significant moment the night before, and that it had frightened her. Being that she was already questioning her feelings, she couldn't take another change, and more than that, she couldn't take Edward's reaction to it. The pain in his eyes when he announced the end of their deal had momentarily stunned her, and she couldn't conceive of anything to do, but run away. She was afraid for what that look meant, and the feelings that it had ignited in her. There had been sparks and flickers of true emotions for a long time, but that moment, that touch, and his pain had been enough to create an inferno. She had to run before she was burned alive.

So when she pulled herself out of bed that morning, the only thing that made sense was the need to change Edward's mind. She climbed into her beat up old truck, the one her father had given to her not long after she got her license, and began the ride to school with a nervous feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach the whole way.

~*~

Edward was relieved to successfully avoid Bella for the extent of the school day. He had avoided all of his regular hang outs, all of his friends... he'd even had his lunch in the bathroom. He knew he was hiding, and that it was pathetic, but he just didn't think he could handle seeing her, or worse, talking to her.

When the final bell rang at 3:30PM, he rejoiced inwardly that he had made it through the day. He burst out of the classroom and sped through the halls to the main entrance.

He was halfway through the parking lot when he noticed her there, leaning against the car. He stopped short. Just the sight of her was enough to break down the progress he had made that day. He mentally reigned himself in, before continuing the trek to the car. He tried to put up the facade, but felt it slip whenever he dared to glance in her direction.

"We need to talk," she said. He shook his head, and swiftly made his way around the car to the driver's side door. She followed him, and put her hand on his when he stuck the key in the door. He jerked his hand away, as though he'd been burned. "What the hell is your problem?" she asked.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said. His voice shuddered a bit, and he inwardly cursed himself. He didn't want to look weak. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why'd you call it off?" she asked. She decided that the only way she would get through this conversation was to be very blunt. She wasn't sure she could keep from becoming emotional if she did it any other way. She noticed that he looked very uncomfortable, and chalked it up to his dislike for her. He let out an incredulous chuckle.

"You're breaking your own rules." She rolled her eyes.

"Fuck the rules!" she exclaimed. It was his turn to cross his arms. He stood up a little straighter and glared down at her.

"Fuck the rules?" he asked. She nodded, indignantly. "What if _I _had said 'fuck the rules,' Bella?" she bit her lip. He was right, but she wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"The rules don't apply anymore. The deal is off." He shook his head.

"Rule number six, if anyone wants out, it's over, _no questions asked._" He placed emphasis on 'no questions asked', causing her to jut out her jaw with irritation.

"Why can't you just answer the question?"

"Why can't you let it go?" he responded quickly. She bit her lip and looked around. Their voices had raised, and she noticed that they were attracting a crowd. He sighed heavily. He hadn't wanted to talk to her, but he certainly hadn't wanted to fight with her. He lowered his voice. "Look, why don't we discuss this somewhere else?" he asked. Her eyes shot up to him, angrily.

"Why? Worried about your reputation?" she spat the words out, and he rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I was worried about yours. Mine can take it," he clarified. She was still angry, but she calmed a bit at this. Her emotions were on overdrive, and she felt out of control. She lowered her voice as well, and leaned in a bit closer.

"I don't want it to end," she said softly, not meeting his eyes. Edward heard something in her voice that made him stop. She seemed upset, and he couldn't understand why.

"Why not?" he asked, lowering his voice to barely a whisper. He looked around and saw that the crowd had dissipated a bit. He was thankful for that. He looked back at her just in time to see her withdraw into herself, and back away from him. He wanted to reach out and pull her back. He wanted to know why she looked so upset. He wanted to hear her say that she wanted him.

He would have given anything to hear her say she wanted him.

But she didn't. Instead, she backed up a step, put up her hands, and said, "Never mind. Forget it." She turned to walk away, and Edward couldn't bear to let her leave without knowing the truth. He could feel his heart breaking all over again as she stepped away from him, taking away with her the sliver of hope that her brief flash of emotion had given him.

Without another thought, he called out to her.

"I just can't do it anymore," he said. She stopped midstep and turned back to him. She said nothing, just waited for him to explain further. "I can't, Bella." He could feel his throat closing, and willed the tears to stay away.

He knew that what he was about to tell her could potentially be the final blow to break his heart completely, but he couldn't stop himself.

"I can't watch you walk away anymore. I can't hear you say you hate me. I can't pretend that it doesn't mean anything to me, Bella. I can't pretend it doesn't hurt." The words tumbled out of him unharnessed, and as terrified as he was to say them, he also felt mildly liberated. A year's worth of emotion spilled out in that one moment, and Bella just stood there, stunned at the confession.

A silence passed between them, and the only sound that could be heard were the murmurs of curious onlookers, though, to Edward's ears, that sound was eclipsed by the rapid beating of his heart.

"Why does it hurt?" her voice was so quiet, Edward barely heard it—but he knew what she wanted to know.

"Because I love you," he said, his voice breaking. He swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat as he watched the emotions play on her features.

"You hate me," she said softly. He shook his head.

"No, _you_ hate _me_. _I_ _love_ you. I have since we were 10 years old." She shook her head hard, running her hands through her hair, desperately trying to make sense of it all. It didn't add up. That summer, the lies, Tanya... nothing made sense.

"No, you don't," she exclaimed, taking a step toward him. "You can't."

"I do," he said softly. He reached a hand out to her, only to have it smacked away.

"Why the fuck are you doing this, Edward?" she cried angrily. Why was he doing this? Why was he lying? Why was he making her feel this way?

"Because I can't lie anymore!" he exclaimed. "I've been lying to everyone, my parents, my friends, you... I've been pretending to be something I'm not, pretending I don't feel things that I'm not supposed to feel, and I just can't do it anymore." Bella bit back the wave of pity that she felt for him. There were still so many questions left unanswered.

She decided to go for the biggest fish first.

"If you love me so much, why'd you pick Tanya over me?" Edward felt like he had been kicked in the gut. He hadn't even considered that she had interpreted his actions in such a way. The thought made him sick.

"I didn't. I couldn't," he stumbled for the right way to explain the situation.

"You did! I tried to talk to you, and you obeyed her like a little fucking puppy when she told you to stay away from me."

"It wasn't about Tanya, Bella," he told her. "She meant nothing to me. She never did. I was only with her so I could get over you." Bella listened to the words, but she couldn't process them. It was too much information all at once.

"What the hell made you so desperate all of a sudden to get over me?" she asked. Edward stopped. He couldn't imagine telling Bella about the promise he had made to his grandfather, but she stood there waiting angrily for an explanation, and he knew he had no choice but to tell her the truth.

As he told her the story, he avoided her gaze like the plague. He could feel her eyes burning into him, and it made him feel queasy. When he finally explained the details of the promise he made to his grandfather he looked at her, and found her eyes mixed with anger and sadness.

When he finished, her arms were tightly crossed over her chest, and her gaze was burning into the ground. He watched her contemplate the situation, and turn the information over and over in her mind. He felt nauseous from the nervous energy between them.

Finally, when he thought he could take it no longer, she looked up at him, angry, but reserved.

"Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?" she asked. Edward let out a deep breath, and leaned heavily against the car for support.

"I knew it would hurt you," he said softly. Bella bit her lip.

"You have no fucking clue how I would have reacted. You don't know a damn thing about me." Her voice was even, but smouldering. This irritated Edward. After the many, many times that Bella had said some version of these words to him over the past several years, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Bullshit, Bella. I know you better than you know yourself," he said, a fire behind his words that only made Bella angrier.

"Fuck you," she growled. He shook his head, and stood up straighter.

"No, Bella. I remember every second of our friendship, and I remember every god-forsaken second since it ended. I _know_ you. I _love_ you. Don't for a second think that I don't!" his voice had become quite loud, and the remaining onlookers' murmurs got louder. Everyone knew it now. Everyone knew that _Edward Cullen_ loved _Bella Swan_. He couldn't be bothered to care.

Bella was taken aback by his words, and sunk back defensively. He was right. He did know her, he always had. But he had promised not to be with her, and that hurt more than anything that had happened between them since.

She took a step back, uncrossing her arms and allowing them to fall limply at her sides. Edward could feel himself losing her. When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible.

"You made a promise."

"It was a mistake," he said, taking a step toward her. His could feel that lump re-forming in his throat, and a feeling of dread overtook him when he saw that damn veil close over her eyes once more.

"Well," she said. "Far be it for me to get in the way of a promise made to the dearly departed." With that, she turned and ran away from Edward. He watched limply as she climbed into her truck, and gunned it out of the parking lot.

As if the final pieces of the puzzle had fallen into place, he felt his heart shatter completely. He sunk back against his car and allowed his knees to give out, coming to a hard landing on the pavement.

It was hours before he moved again.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry, this took a little longer than anticipated. I had a hard as hell time writing it. It's _the_ chapter, so it kind of has to be just right.

Hopefully it came across the way I intended it to. I know some of you aren't too fond of third person POV, but it seemed to me like the only way I could tell this part of the story appropriately.

I hope you liked it. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys!

Christie


	13. The Awakening

_Third Person POV_

Esme sat curled up on the couch in her living room, waiting impatiently for her son to get home. He was three hours late, supper had come and gone, his father had returned to work for another evening shift, and she was alone and worried.

She was about to call him for the eighth time when she heard the familiar sound of his car pulling into the driveway. She got up from the couch, and made her way to the entryway just as he opened the door, fully intending to scold him for coming home late and ignoring her calls.

Her complaints were stopped when she took in his face. In his seventeen years, Esme had never seen Edward look so lost, so lonely, and so upset. The tell-tale red eyes and tear streaks broke her heart, and all she could conceive of to do was pull her son into a tight embrace.

Edward collapsed into his mothers arms. He buried his face in her shoulder and allowed himself a moment to just be weak. She would hold him up. If she never did another motherly thing in her life, she would be there for him now.

Esme gradually manoeuvred them toward the living room, and pulled him down onto the couch. She watched as he curled in on himself, bringing his knees up to his chest, as though protecting himself from the world. She was desperately worried about what could leave her usually stoic son in such a state.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice soft, her pace unrushed. She wanted him to open up to her like he had never done before. Edward shrugged.

"You don't want to hear about it," he said, his throat sore from crying. Esme sighed deeply.

"Can I make you some tea?" she asked. Edward studied her for a moment, trying to gauge her reactions. She didn't usually take an interest in his personal dramas. He nodded and watched her retreat into the kitchen while he contemplated how much he should tell her about the situation with Bella. He knew he wouldn't tell her about the arrangement, but a part of him was desperate to have someone to lean on, someone who, technically, was supposed to love him unconditionally.

When Esme returned, she carried two cups of tea and a few biscuits on a platter. She set it down on the coffee table before handing Edward his cup. He uncurled himself and took a long, hot drink, revelling in the way it soothed his aching throat as it went down. She sat next to him quietly, patiently while she sipped her own tea. Edward had downed half the cup when she finally spoke again.

"I do, you know," she said. He looked at her, confused. She offered a sad half-smile. "I do want to hear about it." Edward bit his lip and took a deep breath, before setting the cup down.

"I've made a lot of mistakes," he said softly. Esme said nothing, she just sat back and listened. Edward was grateful that she didn't try to correct him.

"I love someone." Esme nodded, taking in his story, careful not to interrupt. "But I hurt her," he whispered. She could hear the pain in his voice, and it broke her heart. "And I don't think she'll forgive me."

"Can I ask who it is?" Esme asked. Edward hesitated, but eventually surrendered. He couldn't really see any harm in sharing these things with his mother.

"Bella Swan," he told her. Esme nodded slowly. "I know you hate her," he said. Esme's brow furrowed.

"I don't hate Bella," she said. Edward chuckled humourlessly and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't."

"Right," he grunted. She sighed.

"Why do you think that?" she asked. Edward gave her an incredulous look.

"You've always hated her," he said. Their tones were still very soft, calm. They weren't angry, just confused. "You and dad practically threw a party when we stopped hanging out."

"You thought we were happy because Bella wasn't around anymore?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious. You were always mad at me until she was out of the picture." Esme clasped her hands together in her lap and let out a breath. Edward watched as she replayed those scenarios in her head. After a moment, she spoke again.

"Well, I guess I can understand why you would think that." He raised an eyebrow.

"Are you saying it's not true?" he asked. She offered a sad smile.

"Of course it's not true," she said softly.

"Then what changed?" he asked, now genuinely confused. Esme reached over and placed a comforting hand on his knee.

"You did," she told him. She moved her hand from his knee and took hold of his hand. "We didn't hate Bella, Edward. We just thought she was a bit of a bad influence on you.

"All through your relationship we would hear reports back from your teachers about how you were horsing around with Bella in class instead of doing your work. We would get calls from Bella's parents about how you were getting up to mischief.

"Suddenly, when you started high school, your marks were better, you seemed happy with Tanya, you were better behaved. We chalked it up to maturity. We just assumed that you and Bella had outgrown your friendship." She stopped a moment, and Edward took the silence to try to wrap his head around what he was being told. His perceptions of everything important in his life had changed, seemingly overnight. It was hard to put it all together.

"We never thought to ask about what happened between you and Bella. I realize now that we should have," Esme said sadly after a moment. Edward shook his head.

"It's not your fault," he told her. "It was my mistake."

"What is this grand mistake you keep mentioning? Surely it can't be as bad as you think it is." Edward huffed.

"You have no idea," he said. Esme grew concerned.

"What did you do, Edward? You're making me nervous." Edward shook his head. He wondered what kind of things she was conjuring up in her mind, and opted to put an end to that quickly.

"It's nothing like _that_," he said. Esme let out a breath.

"Then what is it?"

Edward sighed, and began recounting the promise he'd made to his grandfather. Esme did her best to stay silent during the telling, but she couldn't help the occasional, "Ugh!"'s, and "Jerk"'s that escaped her.

"So," Edward said, after explaining the promise, "I tried to like Tanya so I could get over Bella... and ended up hurting Bella and ruining our friendship at the same time." Esme held up a hand.

"I'm going to stop you right there," she said. Edward stopped short. "First, Edward, dear—and please don't take this the wrong way—your grandfather is an _ass_,"she said. Edward laughed lightly at this—the first real laugh he'd had in what seemed like ages. It felt wrong.

"An ass?" he asked, chuckling. Esme nodded enthusiastically.

"Edward, you're grandfather had a stick so far up his butt that it nearly came out the other end," she said. Edward couldn't keep the grin off his face. His mother was never this candid. He realized in that moment that his mom was kind of funny, when she wasn't trying to be poised and proper.

"What makes you say that?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Look, son, you don't really think that was the first time he tried that old trick, do you?" his brow furrowed with confusion.

"What trick?" he asked. Esme was practically bouncing as her tight-lipped story began busting out of her.

"Oh, Edward... I wish you had told me sooner," she exclaimed. "Your grandfather did the same damn thing to your father!" Edward still sat in a haze of confusion. "Sure, I mean, when he told your father to stay away from me, it didn't pack as big a punch because he wasn't on his death bed..."

"Wait," Edward interrupted. "What do you mean Grandfather told Dad to stay away from you? Grandfather loved you." Esme took a deep breath before letting out slowly.

"Your Grandfather loved me once you came along. Before that, I was just standing in the way of _his_ son joining the family business."

"I don't understand," Edward said.

"Edward, I always encouraged your father to go into medicine because that's what he loved. Your grandfather, on the other hand, fully expected your dad to take over the business that he was heir to. Until you came along, your grandfather viewed me solely as the person to _stole_ his heir. After you were around, that switched, to the person who _gave_ him an heir." Edward ran the information over in his head, desperately trying to make sense of it all. "Why on earth do you think we moved halfway across the country?" she asked. "We needed to get away from the bureaucracy of the family."

"You told me we moved because the job in Forks paid well," Edward said. Esme rolled her eyes.

"Of course we did, you were a child, Edward. Children _say things _that they aren't supposed to say! We couldn't risk having you tell your grandparents that we moved to get away from them," she said.

"Well, why haven't you told me this since?" he asked. Esme sighed deeply.

"I suppose we should have, in retrospect. But, you've always had a good relationship with your grandparents. We didn't need you suffering from our issues. Family is important, Edward. We thought you had a right to have the best impression possible of yours." Edward bit his lip, and turned the information over and over in his head. He considered the way the past several years had gone, and how his parents' attitudes had changed. Suddenly, so many of his questions began to find answers.

"But what do I do now?" he asked. "I did make a promise." Esme shook her head.

"Edward, do you love the girl?" He nodded. "Then you fight for her. If you really love her, you don't stop trying."

"What about my promise?" he asked. Esme shrugged.

"Just let me be the one to give your grandfather a swift kick in the ass when we all meet up in the afterlife." Edward laughed.

He had never thought it would be possible, but somehow, talking with his mother had actually made him feel _better_.

~*~

Bella sat back on her bed in a funk. She had been replaying the afternoon's events over and over in her mind, each time with a different, better conclusion. None of the endings she conceived of included her running off to her truck and driving home at top speed (still, not very fast), and then sulking in her room like a child.

But, regardless of all of the ways that conversation _could_ have gone, she was still left sitting in the aftermath of the way it _had_ gone. She was alone, sad, confused and angry. And, worse, she was sure Edward was probably feeling the same way.

She had been shocked when Edward had professed his love for her. She didn't know what to do with that information after having spent years believing the opposite. It didn't make any sense how he could treat her so badly for years, only to admit that he loved her. He _loved_ her. It didn't feel right to even think the words.

She was pulled out of her stupor by her phone vibrating beside her. She picked it up and saw on the caller display, 'Alice'. She decided to answer, only out of morbid curiosity. Alice didn't call often, but when she did, it was usually because she had some news (read: gossip).

"Hello?"

"Bella, what the fuck?!" Bella had to take the phone off of her ear, lest she be deafened by her friend's shriek.

"What's up, Alice?" she asked, barely interested. She still felt miserable, and wasn't totally up for Alice's exuberance.

"You are, that's what. And Edward Cullen. And the fact that he told you he _loves_ you in the middle of the school parking lot!" Alice shrieked the statement in one long breath. Bella's heart sunk.

"How did you hear about that?"

"Oh, get with the program, Bella. It's all over the blogosphere. It's in at least twelve people's FaceBook statuses, and I'm pretty sure it's a trending topic on Twitter." Bella rolled her eyes. Surely it couldn't be that big a deal.

"What's your point?" she asked. She could practically _hear_ Alice roll her eyes.

"My point is: the hottest guy in school tells you he loves you, and you _run away?!_ How is that a logical reaction?"

"You don't know the whole story, Alice."

"Well, then, PLEASE, enlighten me," Alice implored her. Bella could imagine her energetic friend bouncing up and down in her seat, waiting for the dirt.

Bella had never told Alice or Jasper about her arrangement with Edward. It wasn't that she didn't trust them to keep it a secret, but rather that she wasn't sure she could take hearing an outside opinion on the matter. She and Edward had convinced themselves that the deal had been a good idea, but now that she looked back on it, she was sure anyone else would have told her she was crazy to agree to something like that with someone like Edward.

She sighed deeply, not sure she was willing to divulge all of that information to her friend, even now that the arrangement was over. She decided to stick with the basics, and began to tell Alice about the way she and Edward used to be, and the way they were now. She spared no detail of the hurt that it had caused her when Edward had chosen Tanya over her, and she spared no detail when retelling the story of the heinous promise he had made to his grandfather.

When she finished, there was a moment of dead silence on the phone. It was so uncharacteristic of Alice, that Bella almost thought that she had hung up (not that she would have minded, she wasn't totally looking forward to her friend's reaction).

"So what's the problem?" Alice asked after a moment.

"What do you mean, 'what's the problem,' Alice? He lied to me, he promised he would never be with me," Bella cried. Alice sighed.

"And then he told you he loved you and begged your forgiveness, in front of the whole school no less. What more do you want from the guy?" Bella was incredulous. Alice was supposed to be on _her_ side.

"I want him to take it all back. I want him to choose me over Tanya. I want him to go back and, I don't know, maybe _not_ promise to never be with me?"

"Bella, he can't do those things," Alice said, her voice eerily calm, considering her usual exuberance. "He can't change the past, and it's unfair of you to expect that from him. All he can do is what he's done. He's laid his heart out there for you, and you threw it in the blender, mixed it up with rum, chugged it down, and shit it out!" Bella made a face.

"Thank you for that mental image," she deadpanned. She hesitated to respond, because she knew Alice was right. What did she really expect Edward to do? The damage had been done, but maybe it didn't have to be permanent.

"Look, the real question here is, do you love him?" Alice asked after a moment. Bella swallowed hard, feeling her heart sink.

"Yes," she said softly.

"Well, then tell him that. And for God sakes, forgive him! He made a mistake, he didn't kill your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

"Not the point, Bella," Alice scolded. "Look, I know you like to stew on things, and make them bigger and more difficult than they are—but don't do that this time. Not when real feelings are involved. You love him, and he loves you... and he's _really fucking hot_, so just let it go." Bella sighed deeply. Alice was right. She was letting this become more complicated than it was. "Bella, forgive him. _Be with him_. You'll regret it forever if you don't. "

"You're right," Bella softly conceded, only to have to pull the phone from her ear once again as Alice shrieked.

"Okay! Go do it, and I want details as soon as it's done!" Bella laughed lightly.

"Right now?" she asked.

"Yes, right now! Don't let him sit at home heartbroken, Bella. Fix this!" Bella nodded determinedly. Alice was right. There was no more time to waste—they had wasted too much time already.

~*~

Edward had escaped to his bedroom after his conversation with Esme, feeling better, but still upset. He had no idea how he would convince Bella that he was truly sorry, and that he wanted her more than anything—but he was positive that he needed to try.

He crawled into bed around 9:30, feeling totally spent after the emotional roller coaster he had been on all day. He was just about to drift off when he heard a tapping at his window. He turned, and could see through his dark room a familiar silhouette at his window. He pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the window.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered. Bella bit her lip.

"I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N:**OMG we're almost there! And, yeknow, I couldn't just let you all go away thinking that Esme and Carlisle suck. What kind of Twifan would I be if I did that!?

A couple of things:

1- I allow anonymous reviews because I really don't care if you're logged in or not. However, if you want to leave a criticism, I would appreciate it if you do log in so I can PM you and clarify something if you need, or maybe just more fully understand where you're coming from. It can only help to make my writing and my story better if I get all of the information from you =)

2- The reviews from the last chapter were fantastic, and I am so appreciative of all of them. I just wanted to say one quick thing about the switch to third-person (which most people didn't mind, but there were a couple who did): I don't like it when stories switch POV all the time either, but for this particular story, it was laid out in a very specific way. Edward and Bella told the back story, and now I'm telling the present story. I'm doing the present this way because it's less repetitive, and I find it easier to tell it as an observer, without their emotions getting in the way.

3- There's just an epilogue left, so I want to give you all an early thank you for sticking with me through this story. You've really made it a blast to write, and I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to see that so many people like something that I've being writing. I've been doing fanfiction for a long time, and have never gotten this kind of response, so I'm just totally in love with all of you.

Thanks everyone. And, as always, reviews are very much appreciated (all of them, good and bad!)

Stay tuned!

-Christie


	14. Epilogue

_BPOV_

I'm in love with Edward Cullen.

And, thankfully, he loves me too.

Edward and I haven't had a picture-perfect relationship ever since we declared ourselves to each other. We had such deeply ingrained issues that it was a struggle to find the point where we could let go of all of the anger, hurt and resentment, and just give into the stronger feelings of love that we felt for each other.

The first couple weeks of our relationship were tumultuous. Edward faced a whole new onslaught of drama at school because of the way he had publicly declared himself (something that I'm still reeling from, though I've never told him how deeply it affected me). Many of his friends teased him mercilessly about his 'pussy-like' display, and then teased him even more about the fact that he did it for _me_.

This wave of unrest flowed over to me as well. Although Edward was always stoic, and defended me on every occasion, it was still difficult to walk through the halls at school holding hands, knowing that the question on everyone's mind was, "Why is _he_ with _her_?" Thankfully, I always had Alice and Jasper to support me, and they welcomed Edward into our little group with open arms. The three were like family, before long.

The reason for being together was always clear though. We had lived apart, and it had nearly destroyed us. We had tried to deny each other, and we were found fooling even ourselves in our attempts to be together regardless. We _needed_ each other, and that need is what kept us strong and committed, even through the complications and arguments.

There were plenty of arguments in the beginning. We had to fight it out, and each let the other know how deeply it hurt to be lied to. For the first time, I realized that my lie to Edward about Jacob had hurt him more than he had let on. It forced me to look into myself, and consider why I had lied in the first place.

It wasn't so much that I was desperately in love with Edward when I was with Jacob. It turned out, though, that Jacob was right. I _did_ want to keep the relationship option open with Edward. I hadn't realized it until Edward outright asked me why I lied. I suppose maybe I knew it all along, but I had denied it to myself vehemently for years.

Our other arguments usually centred around Edward's acceptance of his grandfathers final wish. I knew, logically, that he was between a rock and a hard place—but it was incredibly hard to rationalize away the hurt it caused.

Despite the rocky start, though, we were able to fall into a comfortable relationship. During our friendship we had been completely open with one another, and we never had any conflict. We realized that by doing the same thing in our relationship that we could fall back to old habits, and just enjoy the company of one another.

Much to my surprise, Edward's parents welcomed me back, seemingly, with open arms. The first time I went to Edward's house after we got together, he opened the door with a wide grin, and grabbed my hand, pulling me through the doorway.

"I'm glad you're here," he said, kissing my forehead. It made me smile, the way the old familiarity fell back into place as soon as we accepted our feelings. I grinned up at him and began to take off my shoes, when the tornado that is Esme on caffeine whirled into the entryway, enveloping me into a hug.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, a huge grin in place. I tried to hug her back, but my arms were locked beneath hers.

"Mrs. Cullen," I said, pulling out of the hug. Esme left her hands outstretched on my arms.

"It's so good to have you back, Bella," she said, warmly. "Edward just hasn't been the same without you." Her admission surprised me, but not as much as the warmth in her smile. She seemed genuine.

"Thank you," I managed to squeak out, before Edward intervened. He took hold of my hand and pulled me past is mother, muttering something to her about 'personal space'.

He pulled me past the doorway to the den, which was emitting a warm glow from the hearth.

"Bella," came a voice from inside, which I recognized as Edward's father, Carlisle. I called back, "Hi, Mr. Cullen," before Edward dragged me by. I can't be sure, but I could _swear_ I heard him say, "Glad you finally learned how to use a door," before Edward and I disappeared up the stairs.

I asked Edward about it, but he still doesn't think his parents knew about my visits. I'm pretty sure he's wrong.

Since that night, I've used the door regularly, retiring the old tree that I had become so well acquainted with over the past year.

So, if you were to ask me about why I spent earlier this evening climbing up that damn tree, well, I suppose I'd just have to tell you the truth.

Seeing Edward is always fun.

But it's even better when nobody knows I'm there ;)

I climbed out onto the branch that led to the window, and just took in the sight before me for a moment. Edward was sprawled out on his bed with a book in hand, and looked totally lost in the story. He was chewing on his bottom lip, and was making his 'concentration face', which I've always teased him about, but in truth, it's adorable.

He startled when I knocked, but the grand smile that overtook his beautiful features when he saw me was enough to make my glad that I'd chosen this particular entrance to his house. He quickly came to the window and pulled it open, before crossing his arms over his chest.

"What are you doing here?" he said, with a devious grin. I shrugged.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to invite me in?" I asked. He smiled and held out a hand to me. I took it, and allowed him to guide me through the window.

Once I landed on the soft plush carpet, I took a moment to look around the room while he closed his window. I had seen it many times, but it always made me smile. The pictures on the wall that had replaced those of us as children were switched back, and a new picture of us sat on his nightstand. It felt right, and like it was how it should be.

I felt his arms come around my waist and he nuzzled into my neck, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. He always managed to affect me, and I never got tired of it.

"This is a surprise," he murmured into my ear. I sunk back into him with a sigh.

"I missed you," I told him. I could feel him smile as he pressed soft kisses to my neck. The warmth of his body spread quickly through mine, and I felt like I had found where I belonged. I always felt that way in Edward's arms.

"I always miss you," he whispered. I turned in his embrace and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Let's remedy that, shall we?" I asked. I was rewarded with a grin, before his lips descended on mine. The kiss was soft and sweet. He tasted like he was made for me, and I couldn't get enough of it. I opened my mouth when I felt his tongue play at the entrance, and our tongues began to mingle between us, softly. I sighed, and allowed myself to get lost in the kiss.

Edward led me backward toward the bed, before turning around and laying on his back, pulling me down on top of him. I quickly reclaimed his lips, not willing to let go of the moment.

I can't tell you how long we laid there, just kissing. His hands splayed open on my back, rubbing softly up and down from the nape of my neck to my backside, and back up again. Every time he touched me, it sent tingles through my entire body.

After what could have been ages, his hands began to linger on my backside. He pressed down, encouraging me to grind into him—something I enjoyed immensely. My legs spread so I was straddling him, and the heat of our kiss began to escalate. Our kisses became laced with soft moans between us, as I began to grind into him a little harder, and a little longer. I could never get used to the thrill of excitement that coursed through my veins at feeling his hardness against me, knowing that I had made him that way. Knowing that he wanted me.

His hands skirted under my shirt, and he began to lightly palm my breasts. I reluctantly pulled away from him to remove the offending material, and threw my bra away with it, before returning to him. He had removed his shirt while I had been doing so. I revelled in the way his hot skin felt against mine.

I loved the way his hands felt on my overheated skin, and the way he was so confident in his movements, but still so caring and respectful. He was a lover, and a companion. I felt entirely safe under his touch—but then, I always had. Edward had always been good to me, even when things were bad.

His hands moved to undo the button on my jeans, before skirting back around, and dipping into them. He dragged me over him a little harder with his hands on my bare backside, and I couldn't see any reason to keep the rest of my clothes on. I wanted to feel him against me and inside of me. I pulled away and stood up, and he followed along. I waited for him and allowed him to pull off my pants and underwear together. I stepped out of them, and then went to the button on his pants.

"No, wait," he said suddenly. I pulled my hands away, confused. I allowed him to manipulate me onto the bed, before he settled between my legs, and dipped his head in. I gasped when I felt his tongue against my sensitive nub. He never failed to surprise me. Just when I thought I had him figured out, he would turn me in a different direction.

I watched him as he worked up the most delicious burn inside of me, and loved the way he seemed to enjoy my taste. I tangled my hands in his hair, just enjoying the soft texture of it, and the way it felt between my fingers.

As the burn began to build, my hands formed into fists in his hair, and I fought to keep my noises down. I could barely hold back my cry when his fingers entered me and began pumping hard and fast, in contrast to the slow, methodical pace he had set with his tongue. The surprise brought me quickly to orgasm and he milked me through it, before placing soft kisses on my inner thighs, and standing to remove the remainder of his clothes.

I watched him undress. He really was beautiful.

"I kind of love you," I said softly. He grinned back at me, stepping out of his pants, and then crawling on top of me.

"I kind of love you too," he whispered, before placing a soft kiss on my mouth. I loved the way he tasted when mixed with my own taste—it was a something totally unique, that could only be created by us.

I allowed my hands to explore his body while we kissed. I loved the plains of his back, and his hard, but understated muscles. I loved the way he fit against me so perfectly. I loved the way his naked erection felt against my thigh. Those are the moments I could lose myself in.

"I want to feel you," he said, pulling away slightly so he could look at me. I smiled and spread my legs a little wider. I reached down in between us and took hold of him, rubbing him over me to gather my juices. I could see what it did to him to be teased, and it only served to heighten my arousal. He moaned my name when I place him at my entrance.

He dipped in slowly, and, like every time, the feeling of being filled by him was incredible. His face as he entered me was second only to his face when he was climaxing. It made me need him on every level.

Once he was fully enveloped in me, he leaned down and softly kissed me before flipping us over, and sitting up so I was in his lap with him deep inside of me. I began to move over him, keeping as much of our bodies in contact as possible. I clung to his shoulders, kissed him fully, and arched my chest against his, while he held tightly around my waist. He thrust upward with every downward movement I made. Our movements were completely synchronized. Our lips created a beautiful ballet. Our bodies were connected at every point. It was perfect.

He moved his lips from my own and began languishing my neck and chest with kisses, while I sped up the pace. It wasn't long before we had begun to breathe hard from the exertion as I came down hard on him. Our sounds mingled, our names became moans, and I knew I was on the verge of climax.

"Edward," I moaned, locking my lips against his neck. He grunted as he thrust hard up against me. "I'm so close."

"Come with me," he said, biting my earlobe. "Please, baby." His voice was strained, and I knew he was close. I sped up once more before falling over the edge. The climax was only made better by his loud grunt, and the feeling of him coming inside of me.

We came down together after several moments, still connected, still together. He kissed me softly, tangling one hand in my hair, and entwining the fingers of our other hands, bringing them over his heart. It occurred to me that we had found ourselves in this position before. I just kissed him harder, willing the moment to never end.

He slowly lay back down, keeping me on top of him with him still inside of me. I lay on his chest, placing soft kisses on the skin there.

"I love you," he said softly. I could hear his chest rumble under my ear as he said the words, and it made me smile. I kissed him again there before pulling away, and allowing him to fall out of me.

"I have to go," I said, sadly. It was late, and we had school in the morning. He frowned while I got out of the bed and began to dress

"I don't want you to." His voice sounded remarkably close to a whine, and it made me chuckle. Once I was dressed I made my way back to the bed, and kissed him soundly.

"I'll see you in the morning," I said against his lips. I made my way back to the window and pulled it open, swinging a leg over the ledge. I turned back to him. "I love you too." He grinned back at me while I pulled myself the rest of the way into the tree.

"Hey Bella," he called. I look through the window, and found him still laying naked on the bed. I can't say I didn't enjoy the view.

"Yea?"

"Get home safe."

**~End~**

* * *

**A/N:** *Sigh* I'm sad. It's over. How did that happen?

No, you know, the real question is: how did this oneshot turn into a 14 chapter story?

The answer? YOU GUYS! Honestly, without the reviews, this would still be a oneshot and this whole journey would never have happened, so thank you so much for motivating me to go on with it. You guys rock, hardcore.

I don't have anything new in the works, but if I do happen to write something else, I'll let you know. Thanks again for all of the time and commitment you had to this. It made it a blast to write :)

Thanks everyone!

*I'll miss you*

Christie


	15. MERRY CHRISTMAS READERS: A NEW CHAPTER!

**A/N: **As a Christmas present to all of my readers who have helped make this story my best ever, I decided to throw you a little lemony holiday cheer.

Enjoy!

**I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion: Christmas Edition**

**BPOV**

It was Christmas. I hated Christmas. The stupid lights, the stupid snow, the stupid, stupid, stupid carollers. The Christmas season had truly become the bane of my existence.

It wasn't always this way. No, up until six years ago, I absolutely loved Christmas. I _lived_ for it. I would bundle up in front of the fire with my mom and dad, enjoying the looks on their faces when they were overly thankful for whatever gift I had given to them. I would listen to my mom talk endlessly about holidays past, and help her make her favourite Christmas recipes. I would help my dad cut down the tree and put it up to decorate.

But now... well... Christmas was the time I dreaded most.

I should probably catch you up.

Since Edward and I began a proper relationship in the spring of our junior year at high school, we've been inseparable. We've done everything together. We went to prom together, and graduated together. We applied for, and were accepted at the University of Washington together. We moved away from our parents together, and into our first apartment in Seattle together. You'd think all of this 'togetherness' would wear on us, but in truth, we'd both tasted the agony of being separated, and were in no great rush to experience it again. We wanted to be together all of the time, if possible, so that's exactly what we did.

Except during the holidays.

At Christmas I would go home and stay with my parents to engage in our yearly traditions as always. Unfortunately, instead of joining me in Forks, Edward would spend each holiday season with his family in Chicago, departing from Seattle, not to return again until New Years. It was technically only a week and a half that we were apart, but it still caused an utterly pathetic ache in my chest.

There were a couple of reasons that I hated being away from Edward. The first, and most simple, was that I loved him, and I never wanted to be apart from him. The second, more deeply rooted reason was the constant reminder of what had happened when he went to Chicago that summer before high school. That reminder of the promise he'd made that ultimately ended our friendship. I had gotten over the hurt from the events of those years and we had moved on, but whenever he boarded his flight to Chicago, I was struck with the fear that when he came back, somehow, everything would change.

So I hated Christmas, for the simple reason that I could not spend it with the man I loved... guarding him from whatever demons lay in Chicago.

During that dreaded week and a half from December 19 to December 30, we talked on the phone and texted constantly. We would be up for hours every night trading arguments about who loved whom more (I'm joking, of course. Not even _we_ were that lame).

We did have one special holiday tradition, though. One that was just ours, and one that not even the distance could keep from us. Every Christmas Eve Edward would call me at precisely 11:59 PM Washington time, and we would wait in silence for the clock to strike midnight, at which time we would be the very first people to say "Merry Christmas" and "I love you" to one another. It was a small, simple tradition, but it gave me all I needed or wanted for Christmas.

So at 11:57 I tucked my self comfortably into bed, long surpassing the waking hours of my parents (who still went to bed, like clockwork, at 9), and waited patiently for Edward's call. Even though I knew it was coming, I still had the jittery excitement of butterflies in my stomach. It was my favourite holiday tradition, and one that I spent all year looking forward to.

At 11:58 I began to watch my clock intently, counting down the seconds until 11:59.

At 11:59 I looked at my phone in my hand, and waited impatiently for it to ring.

At midnight, I bit my lip nervously.

By 12:05, I had set my phone down, and snuggled deep down into my comforter, feeling lower than I had all week. He had forgotten. Our one special holiday tradition, and he had forgotten about it.

I was tempted to call him and complain about his oversight, but was feeling to upset and petulant to bother. If he couldn't remember the one small thing I asked of him, then he didn't deserve my call.

Of course, I was being petty, but I was upset.

I closed my eyes, sighing deeply, hoping sleep would come and rid me of my disappointment.

A few moments later, I heard something tapping on my window, but kept my eyes closed in search of the ever elusive sleep. It was probably the tree that was perched in front of my room, whipping in the wind. Besides, Santa used the chimney, not the second floor window to the daughter's room—though that would provide some interesting insights into Santa's real motives.

I rolled over, my back facing the window, grumbling against the sound that was distracting me from sleep, when the sound became louder. It turned from a light tapping into a distinctive knock. A knock that could only be provided by knuckles against glass.

I opened my eyes with a gasp, hesitant to turn around. Logically, I knew a sadistic serial killer probably wouldn't knock and ask politely for entrance, but I couldn't think of any other situations that would have someone knocking on my bedroom window. Unless my Santa theory was true, of course—but then, he would probably have some device that opened the window for him.

I bit my lip, slowly rolling over, hoping the creeping window Santa would be jolly, as advertised.

When my eyes finally found the window, I felt the breath leave my lungs in a swift whoosh. Outside, precariously perched on a protruding limb of my tree, was a chilly looking Edward Cullen. I leapt from my bed so quickly that I experienced a head rush. I ignored it and scrambled to the window, pulling it open.

"What are you doing here?" my voice a mix of utter confusion and delight. Edward grinned that sexy, crooked grin of his and shrugged.

"Merry Christmas," he said. I beamed. Any thoughts I'd entertained about cutting him off for his oversight were swept away with his smile and greeting. "Uh, can I come in?" he asked, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh, geez, yea!" I exclaimed, backing away from the window so he could climb through. Once he was in, he turned and closed the window behind him, before turning back to me just in time to catch me as I launched into his arms. I half expected to go right though him, as I was clearly in the middle of the greatest egg nog induced dream I'd ever had, but much to my surprise, he caught me in his arms and pulled me tightly to him.

"I thought you forgot about me," I mumbled into his jacket. I hear him chuckled before he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"Never," he mumbled against my hair. I pulled away after a moment to allow him to take off his coat.

"What on earth are you doing here?" I asked, finally getting over the shock of seeing him. He set his coat down in my chair and closed the distance to me, pulling me to him and kissing me soundly. He nearly kissed the question right out of me, but answered once he broke away.

"I persuaded my family to have Christmas on Christmas Eve this year, and booked it back here as fast as I could," he told me with a small smile. I'm sure I looked just as confused as I felt.

"But why?" He manoeuvred to my bed and pulled me with him so I was straddling him as he sat down.

"Because I missed you. And I love you," he kissed my neck as he shared these thoughts. I lolled my head to the side to grant him better access, but he pulled away, capturing my eyes with his own. "And Christmas without you isn't something I ever want to experience again." I felt my heart melt just a little. He had rearranged his entire holiday schedule just to spend Christmas with me. I knew then that I couldn't spend Christmas away from him next year. We would have to come up with an alternate plan.

"I love you," I murmured, kissing him softly. I could feel him smile into the kiss as he allowed his fingers to tangle into my hair and pull me closer. I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders, taking over what little space existed between our bodies. He was the perfect gift. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

As our kisses morphed from chaste to passionate, Edward laid down on his back, pulling me up the bed with him. Once more, I allowed myself to revel in the feeling of his long, lean body beneath me, and the way his muscles moved in his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around me. He felt like he was made for me. I couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas morning than wrapped up in this man.

Edward flipped us over so that he was laying on top of me. Movement wasn't so simple because of the small size of my childhood bed, but we manoeuvred swiftly back to the middle so neither of us were hanging off the side. Once we were situated his lips left mine and began to travel downward, taking purchase on my neck, while his hands began pushing under my shirt. To both of our delights, he had caught me at bedtime, and I was without a bra. I heard him moan against my neck as he came to this realization.

"Shhh," I warned softly. "My parents are asleep in the next room." He pulled away from my neck and offered a conspiratorial grin.

"Well then I hope you can keep it down," he whispered, pulling away from me. I frowned, both at the statement and the loss of contact. My displeasure ceased as I took in his form as he removed his shirt and discarded it on the ground. I reached out and began tugging at his belt, attempting to undo the offending material—and failing. He grinned at me as he took over. He stood up and quickly removed the rest of his clothes while I made quick work of my own as well. Screw taking my time. My boyfriend had made the journey out here for me, and I was going to make it worth his while.

He stood beside the bed, waiting patiently for me to remove my final articles of clothing. I sat up, swinging my legs over the bed, and pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it in the direction that his clothes had gone. I looked up at him and found him smiling down at me, not in a suggestive way, but just with joy and contentment. I felt my heart swell as he tenderly took my face in his hands and leaned down, catching my lips in a slow, sensual kiss. I sighed into his mouth. This was what Christmas was all about—pure happiness.

I felt him begin to push me back in the direction of the head of the bed, but I pushed back, planting myself in my seated position. He pulled away, and looked down on me, confused for a moment. I just smiled up at him, and reached out, taking his erection in my hand and stroking it a few times, loving the way his eyes closed a little at the sensation, and the way his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

"Merry Christmas baby," I said softly, as I rubbed my hand over the tip to gather the precum that had seeped out, and began to spread it over the length. He moaned softly, and I grinned. "I sure hope you can keep it down."

With that, I surged forward and enveloped him quickly in my mouth, loving the way he gasped in surprise, and then moaned in pure satisfaction. Edward was always a little shocked when I rapidly deep-throated him, though I thought he should be used to it.

Slowly, I retracted, placing a peck at the tip, before licking the length a few times. I took him back in, just the tip at first, and then worked my way back down. His hands gathered in my hair, tugging it when I retreated again, pulling me back on. I loved it when he took control in these situations. His need for me became so apparent, and it sent the most incredible tingling to my core.

I pulled off once more and began to rub him quickly with my hand.

"Bella," he moaned, stepping back. I looked up at him, confused. "I want to be inside of you," came his explanation, before he rapidly pushed me back to the top of the bed, and claimed his place on top of me, kissing me ferociously. I felt his hands at my center, as he dove a few fingers unexpectedly into my wetness, making me moan into his mouth as it devoured mine. He began to thrust his tongue into my mouth in time with his fingers, which were working up a wonderful burn within me.

Another moment passed before he pulled away from my mouth, pulled his fingers from my center, and placed himself at my entrance. After the way we had built each other up, I was sure that this would be hard and fast, but much to my surprise, he halted before entering me, looking down on me. The way the shadows of the room played against his skin gave him an ethereal glow. He looked truly beautiful early that Christmas morning.

"I love you so much, baby," he said softly. I couldn't help but smile. Even in the midst of passion, his tenderness shone through. He was truly a special man. I would never let him go.

Without fanfare, he slowly found his rightful place inside of me, and began a slow, easy pace. Our bodies moved together in a fashion that seemed choreographed just for us as we found our rhythm. The only sounds that could be heard in the still of the night were our quiet moans, and our skin making soft contact as he filled me completely and withdrew.

As the intensity began to build, so with it did our pace. Edward began moving harder and faster inside of me, and I had to bit on my lip to keep from crying out. The burn built to a point where I couldn't contain it, and in a soft, guttural moan, I came around him, squeezing him tightly within me. As I came down from my high, I felt Edward's pace grow erratic, before he spilled into me, warming me from within.

As we both relaxed, he rolled off to the side, and pulled me tightly to him.

"Thank you for coming," I whispered after a few moments. He smiled and pulled away, standing. I admired his form as he walked over to where he had discarded his coat, and knelt down, digging in the pockets. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I brought you a present," he said, retrieving a wrapped package from his pocket. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"I thought your visit was my gift." He returned to the bed and pulled back in next to me, handing me the small box, and kissing me soundly. When he pulled away, all I could see were his deep green eyes. I found comfort in them.

"My visit was a gift to myself," he murmured, settling down next to me. He pointed to the box. "That is my gift to you." I smiled, and regarded the box in my hand. It was too small to be a new car to replace my trusty red truck that he hated so much, so I figured it would be safe to open. I tucked my finger under the tape and pulled the box free from the wrapping paper.

The small box held no markings as to the contents, so I pulled open the top, finding a smaller box within. I looked over to Edward with narrowed eyes.

"How many boxes am I going to have to go through to get to the goods here?" I asked. He grinned, and reached over, pulling the smaller box out of the larger that I was holding.

"Allow me," he said softly. I watched as he pulled open the smaller box, and dumped its contents into his hand. A small ring container fell out, and my breath caught.

"Edward," I whispered, my words barely making a sound. I watched him as he opened the small velvet box and revealed its contents. A small, delicate gold band was inside, decorated with a simple, single diamond in the middle. I was wordless as he pulled the ring out and discarded the box. Turning to me, he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

"Bella," he murmured. I looked up at him intently. I couldn't look at the ring if I wanted to, as I was entirely entranced by his emerald gaze. He swallowed hard, and I realized that the unreadable look was something I'd rarely seen in Edward before. He was nervous.

I bit my lip, waiting for him to continue. I hoped he wouldn't make some kind of elaborate speech here, naked in my old bedroom. I hoped he wouldn't be melodramatic, or search for the most utterly romantic, gag-worthy poetic statement he could make. I hoped he knew me well enough to know what I would want to hear from him on this Christmas morning. Something simplistic. Easy. Just like us. I held my breath as he opened his mouth one more time to continue.

"Will you marry me?" he asked softly.

Perfect. No fanfare. No flourish. Simple. Us. I felt in that moment that my own face wouldn't be able to contain my wide smile. I couldn't form a single utterance, so I just nodded. And nodded, and nodded, until I was sure my head would fall off and roll onto the floor. I watched him as he let out a deep breath and a smile of equal proportions graced his lovely features. Before I knew what was happening, the perfect, simple ring had been placed on the third finger of my left hand, and his lips were on mine.

As I made love with my fiancée that night, I came to a realization.

Maybe Christmas wasn't so bad, after all.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, in case you guys didn't know how much I love ya's, I figured a small Christmas present was in order. You readers are best ever, and the way you supported this story was unprecedented, so as a thank you, here you go.

**A/N #2:** Thank You Thank You Thank You to everyone who has reviewed to this, and thank you thank you thank you again for bringing with this chapter the milestone of 1000 reviews! SO Exciting!

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone :)

Christie


	16. NEW OUTTAKE: The Backlash

**Disclaimer:**SMeyer owns Twilight, I own a bus pass.

**A/N: **This was written for LiveJournal user **hpnic06**, who generously donated $10 in support of the earthquake victims in Haiti. I appreciate your donation so much, and I love that the Twilight fans have been so generous. I've heard that our fandom alone has donated somewhere in the $30 000 range, which is absolutely amazing.

If you haven't donated money to support Haiti, please do so if you're able. If you're in the United States (I'm not, but I hear things) **you can donate $10 just by texting 'HAITI' to 90999,** which will come off of your next cell bill. It's for the "Hope for Haiti" fundraiser held by George Clooney, which included our very own Rob Pattinson.

**A/N 2:** I apologise if you're getting a backlog of alerts for this chapter. I've been fighting with for a couple of days because it wouldn't send out alerts, and then all of a sudden I get like 50 all at once, lol.

That said, on with the show!

* * *

**I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion: Outtake **

_**(IHYwaIP Chapter 13, "The Awakening")**_

_Edward had escaped to his bedroom after his conversation with Esme, feeling better, but still upset. He had no idea how he would convince Bella that he was truly sorry, and that he wanted her more than anything—but he was positive that he needed to try._

_He crawled into bed around 9:30, feeling totally spent after the emotional roller coaster he had been on all day. He was just about to drift off when he heard a tapping at his window. He turned, and could see through his dark room a familiar silhouette at his window. He pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the window._

"_What are you doing here?" he whispered. Bella bit her lip._

"_I love you, too." _

_**EPOV**_

I spent half the night with Bella safely tucked in my embrace, and the other half remembering the way she felt there. Hearing her say she loved me was the greatest thing I could have ever hoped for, and thankfully it came at the time when I needed to hear it most. Bella's thoughts had been so guarded around me for the entirety of our arrangement. Knowing how she really felt was liberating.

I woke up the next morning feeling alive with unbridled anticipation. The short hours between Bella's departure and school seemed like an eternity to me. I hadn't wanted to let her go.

I don't think I had ever gotten ready for school so quickly in my life. I was barely able to force myself to take a shower, this time revelling in the remains of our lovemaking as they washed away from my skin. I could feel her body on me, under me, wrapped around me, and it was exhilarating. While our arrangement had been exciting and physically satisfying, nothing had come close to making me feel the way I had wrapped up within her that night.

I got to school earlier than usual, knowing full well that Bella would likely get there later than that, but I couldn't hold myself back. I parked in the spot I usually took and powered down the car, waiting impatiently for the minutes to tick by.

I heard the crack before I saw what had caused it. I jerked my head to examine the sound, and found a small white scratch decorating the surface of my otherwise pristine passengers-side window. Looking through the now marred piece of glass, I could see a group of guys from the soccer team looking in my direction, laughing. One of them had thrown a rock at my car.

I pulled myself out of the car, slamming the door.

"What the fuck, man?" I demanded, quickly making my way over to the group.

"What's the matter, Champ?" one of the guys asked condescendingly. "That time of the month?"

"You threw a fucking rock at my car!" I seethed. They all laughed one more time. I was waiting to be let in on the joke. "What the hell is your problem?" I directed my question toward the ring-leader of the group, a guy named Alec. He offered me the cocky sneer that he called a grin and crossed his arms.

"Just checking to see if your car is as big a pussy as you are. By the looks of that scratch, I guess it is."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you not hear?" he feigned innocence. "Turns out the captain of the soccer team turned into a fucking chick." I held up a hand to stop him.

"Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about. But if you touch my car again, I'll fucking kill you." Alec rolled his eyes at me and turned toward one of the other guys.

"Oh Bella, I love you. I've loved you forever!" I felt my heart sink.

"That's what this is all about?" I asked, only then realizing that the school had been privy to my conversation with Bella the previous day.

"Bella Swan, dude? Are you serious? She's a fucking leper," Alec cried. I could feel heat rising within me.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" The group laughed once more. They were like hyenas on the prowl with me as their prey.

"And what are you gonna do about it, bitch." He shoved me backward. I bit my lip hard, trying to reign in my anger toward my so-called teammate.

"Don't touch me," I growled.

"Edward?" I heard her voice coming from behind me, and glared at the guys, daring them to say another word. Bella came to stand beside me. I put my arm around her waist protectively.

"Oh, hey Bella," Alec said, suddenly very friendly. "What's that in your bag? Edward's dick?" I was about to respond, but Bella beat me to it.

"Actually, I think it's yours. I hear too much masturbation can make it fall off." I couldn't fight the grin that forced its way onto my face. My girl fucking rocked. "You should really get that checked out." She offered a faux-friendly parting wave before she headed off toward the school. I looked back at Alec, trying not to laugh out loud at the look on his face.

"Stay the fuck away from my car. Bitch." With that, I followed after Bella, taking her hand firmly in mine as we headed through the front door together.

The first confrontation of the day was far from the last. During my first three classes I was subjected to numerous comments, most of them from those people who I had considered to be my friends. I found myself defending Bella to people who didn't even know her, and had no basis to say a damn thing. It was infuriating.

"So what's the deal, Eddie?" I felt a trickle of breath ghost across the back of my neck, signalling that Jessica was much too close to me. I turned a little in my seat so I could face her.

"What deal?" I asked. I knew what she was talking about, having had this same conversation with about twelve other girls before her, but I still secretly hoped that the next one would be different.

"You and Swan. Is this all just to get in her pants? Cause according to Tyler she's not a very good lay." I ground my teeth together to keep from snapping at her.

"Okay," I said, in the most forceful whisper I could muster without alerting the teacher to our conversation. "First, Tyler's a fucking moron who doesn't know a clit from a zit, and second, I love Bella. I don't care what the fuck people say about her. All that matters to me is that she loves me back." Jessica rolled her eyes, clearly not believing my story.

"Edward, honey. If you were looking for a girlfriend, you know you could have just asked." Her flirty tone made me want to vomit.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking for a girlfriend, then." I turned back to my paper, suppressing a cringe when I felt her tap my shoulder and lean in to whisper in my ear.

"Well, girlfriend or not. You can still climb through my window anytime you want." I rolled my eyes and turned back around.

"Jess, you've been making the same offer for two years, and I've been turning you down for two years. What the hell makes you think that's gonna change now that I have a girlfriend?" She offered a flirty grin and leaned in even closer so I could smell her coffee-breath.

"Look, everyone knows you're not a one-woman man. I'm just presenting an opportunity. I promise not to tell anyone." I let out a long breath.

"I'm only gonna say this once, and I'd appreciate it if you'd spread it around to all of those little cock-starved lunatics you call friends. I'm with Bella. I love Bella. I'm not interested in anyone but Bella. Fuck. Off." I watched her slump back into her chair, dejected, before turning back in my chair, pleased with my handiwork.

The morning passed with more and more uncomfortable encounters with girls and guys alike, all wondering what the hell had come over me, and when the 'real Edward' would come out of hiding. I could barely contain my relief when the lunch bell rang, providing me with an opportunity to escape them and spend time with Bella.

Entering the cafeteria was an unnerving experience. I could swear every set of eyes was on me, including all of the ones from my usual table, filled with all of the people who had been torturing me since the beginning of the day. I momentarily wondered how I had ever called them friends, before taking a cursory glance around the room, finding the one pair of eyes that mattered. Swiftly I made my way through the tables and pulled into the seat next to Bella.

"This place is a fucking nuthouse," I grumbled, leaning over to give her a quick peck on the lips. I loved having the freedom to do that whenever and wherever I wanted. I would definitely be taking advantage of it.

"For you too, huh?" Bella asked, taking my hand in hers. I was immediately concerned.

"Why, what happened to you?" She let out a long sigh, and was about to respond when her two friends, Jasper and Alice, made their way to sit at the table.

"Holy shit, the people in this place are fucking vultures!" Alice cried. She turned and offered me a broad smile that immediately eased my nerves. "Hi! I'm Alice, and this is Jasper." I couldn't help but smile. She had a fairy-like quality that immediately reminded me of Tinkerbelle.

"Yea, yea, I know." I held out my hand to Jasper who was sitting closer to me, he gave it a hard shake. "I'm Edward."

"Yea. We know," Jasper said with an amused grin. I laughed lightly. I supposed there weren't many people around school who didn't know me. Jasper had a pretty thick southern accent, and combined with his low, soothing voice, I was immediately at ease amongst Bella's friends. Unlike mine, they didn't seem inclined to judge us. I caught Bella's eye, and she looked back at me timidly.

"You don't have to sit with us if you'd rather be with your friends." I shook my head hard.

"Nooo, no, no, no," I said, in a long string. Bella smiled lightly.

"So, no?" I laughed.

"No. Here's good."

"Won't your friends be mad?" her gaze was on the table that I usually occupied. I turned to look, and found many from the group shooting death-glares in our direction. I couldn't help myself as I flipped them the bird and turned back to my new group of friends.

"I don't give a shit what they think. The whole group of them have been eating me alive all day." Bella bit her lip, her gaze shifting down to our joined hands. "Hey, what's up. Have they been giving you a hard time?" I was ready to kick the shit out of anyone who did so much as look at her wrong.

"Kind of," she said with a shrug. "I mean, it's to be expected. They tortured me before, this is pretty much the perfect opportunity for them." I could feel rage building within me.

"Who is it? Tell me, I'll make them stop." Bella chuckled lightly and rubbed my back with her hand.

"Woah, settle it back down there, Rambo. It's nothing I can't handle." Her making a joke of it wasn't doing much to help my irritation.

"I'm serious, Bella. They have no right to say anything to you."

"And what are you going to do about it, really?" she asked, a little more serious. "Anything you do in retaliation is just going to get you in trouble, and then they win. If we ignore them, they'll get tired of it and move on." I shook my head.

"You know that's not true. Not with them. If it was anyone else, maybe, but Alice is right, they're fucking vultures. They won't stop until they get what they want."

"And what do they want, Edward?" she asked, withdrawing from me. "For us to break up? Is that going to happen?"

"No, of course not." I knew with absolutely certainty that nothing those idiots could say or do would come between us.

"So what's the problem? Let them talk." I bit my lip and looked back toward my old table. Most of the eyes had been averted, but a couple of them still watched me.

"Fine," I conceded. "But if it doesn't stop soon, I'm doing something." Bella sighed deeply, reclaiming my hand with her own.

"It'll stop." Even as she said it, I could tell she didn't believe it.

A couple of weeks passed and the rumours, the remarks, and the constant prodding kept coming. On more than one occasion I'd been tempted to take out some of the guys who seemed to be leading the attack, but I kept Bella's wishes in mind, and continued to walk away.

It wouldn't have been so bad, but beyond this, I was also facing a constant string of arguments with Bella. Despite the fact that we loved each other and wanted to be together, there was still a lot of left over hurt regarding our various indiscretions. Whenever Bella was mildly upset, she would bring up the ludicrous promise I made to my grandfather. More often than not, this led to me bringing up her lie about being with Jacob, and it would lead to one fight after another.

I didn't want to fight with Bella, but she was constantly putting me on the defensive. I didn't know what to say or do that would make her forgive me for my mistake. In addition to that, she didn't seem to have any remorse whatsoever for lying to me about Jacob, she just wrote that off as hypocrisy on my part for being with Tanya. I couldn't deny that my reaction to Jacob had been unfounded considering the relationship I'd had with her, but it still bothered me that Bella didn't even attempt to understand my feelings on the matter.

It took about a month for our fights to wear out. Our final argument on the subject was the most explosive of them all. Once we had each yelled everything out, we sat in silence in my bedroom, letting the tension settle. Bella sat cross legged on the floor at the foot of my bed while I lay on my back on the bed staring holes into the ceiling.

"I'm sick of this," I said, not moving. I heard Bella sigh deeply, but she didn't make a move to join me on the bed.

"What do you propose we do about it?"

Our conversations often went this way. A conclusion was never reached. We often just gave up and settled for the make-up sex, as if it would make it all better. This time, though, I was truly done with it.

"I'm not going to discuss these things anymore. I won't bring it up, and I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same."

"You can't just make the feelings go away." Her voice was low, calm, but I could hear a hint of irritation in it. I took a deep breath, steadying my temper before flipping around on the bed so I was on my back with my head at the foot of the bed, next to hers.

"I know. But we could both at least try to let them go." I didn't watch her as she stood up and came to lay alongside me on her stomach. She propped herself up on her arms and looked down at me.

"I wish I knew how." I shrugged a little.

"Are you feeling anything that you haven't already said?" she shook her head. "Because I know how you feel, Bells. You've told me, and I listened. And it kills me that I hurt you, but we can't keep doing this. All I can do is try to be good to you and make up for my mistakes." I reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "If you'll try to let go of your anger with me, I'll probably have more success with that." She lowered her gaze and began to chew on her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry I lied about Jake," she said softly. It was the first time she'd actually apologized for her own indiscretion, while I had been apologizing about mine for what seemed like ages.

"Thanks." I rested my hand on her cheek, speaking again when her chocolate eyes met mine. "You know I'm sorry." She nodded slightly. "Can you forgive me?" A moment passed before she nodded again, slowly.

"I forgive you." Her voice was so quiet that I barely heard her words, but our locked gazes told me it was the truth. I swallowed deeply.

"I don't want to fight anymore," I said. She leaned into my hand on her cheek, placing hers over it.

"Neither do I." She turned her face slightly and kissed the palm of my hand.

"So are we done with all of this?" She smiled lightly and nodded.

"Yea, we're done. "

The resolution to that final fight was different from the other rounds of make-up sex, because we didn't need to make up. I kissed her with a soft passion that I hoped would tell her everything I wanted to say—how much I loved her and needed her. How much I wish I'd never hurt her. How I'd never, ever do anything to betray her again. She kissed me back with just as much passion, saying without words what I needed to feel. She understood. I was forgiven.

I rolled onto my side and pulled her into me so we were laying flush against each other. Her leg naturally found its place hitched over my hip as we sought more closeness than our bodies could provide. Her heat radiated through my body, warming me from within. Nothing ever felt as good as being in her arms.

After a while she rolled onto her back, pulling me with her. I found my favourite place, between her legs, and allowed some of my weight to fall onto her, grinding into her. She moaned into my mouth, taking my arousal from an '8' to a '10' with a single gorgeous sound. Soon our bodies were moving together of their own volition while our mouths continued to explore one another's. Her tongue was soft and smooth against mine as she sucked me into her mouth. Our tongues moved together in time with our bodies, creating a warm, wet connection that left us totally in sync with one another.

Soon our clothes began to come off, one article at a time. I was in no rush with her. We'd rushed in the past, and now I just wanted to cherish every second I could have with her.

Once our final pieces of clothing had been removed, I directed us up to the top of the bed so she could lay on the pillows before I reclaimed her mouth with a renewed fervency. Our slow build had brought me to a heightened state of desire, and all I wanted was to feel every inch of her beautiful body against mine. Our warm skin connected at every point, and I revelled in the smoothness of her body. She was fragile, smooth. Her curves welcomed my body into them. She felt absolutely right against me. Just laying with her felt like heaven.

I left her mouth to taste her neck and shoulders. Her skin ghosted under my lips like air as I brushed my way down her body, tasting, kissing, licking every inch. I could never get enough of her. I reached her breasts and couldn't suppress my own moan when I took a nipple into my mouth, flicking the tip with my tongue, sucking lightly, ghosting my teeth across the nub, before releasing it and showing the same attention to the other. Bella's soft sighs and moans encouraged me to move further, as I began a slow trek down her midsection, aching to touch her where she radiated heat the most.

"Please, Edward," she sighed, taking hold of my head as I reached her lower midsection. I raised my head to look at her and found her looking at me with heavy eyes.

"What do you want, Baby? Anything you want." I kissed her stomach.

"I want you inside of me." She didn't have to ask twice. I rapidly ascended up her body, claiming her mouth in a long, languid kiss while I lined myself up at her center and pushed inside. Our connections had always been incredible, and this was no exception. The way she fit around me was unlike anything else. She was home.

We said no words as I pushed in and out of her at a moderate speed. The only sounds to be heard in the room were those of our connection and our heavy breathing, marred by the occasional moan or sigh. Being like this with Bella, I required nothing more. Just watching her face as I brought her up to the heights of ecstasy was the most erotic and beautiful thing I'd ever encountered.

Time seemed to pass in a suspended state as we moved together in long strokes. Her arms were wrapped firmly around my neck, and her legs locked around my waist holding me to her tightly, telling me I was to go nowhere. This was where she wanted me to be, buried deep within her, our bodies moulded together as a delicious heat and moisture built between us.

Bella began to buck up against me as she neared her release, and her moans became louder and more constant. I wanted to watch her as she came apart, but my own pending release was making it difficult to force my heavy eyes to stay open. I deepened my strokes, pushing in deep as I could go and grinding hard before withdrawing. The new movement brought me in contact with her clit, bringing her up faster and harder with the combined sensations.

I forced my eyes open as she came apart, squeezing me tightly within her while her arms and legs held me ever closer. Her eyes closed tightly, her lips parted, but no sound came out. Her head went back and her chest unwittingly raised to meet mine. She was exquisite in her climax, and it was all I needed to find my own as I pumped into her, milking my own release.

Completely spent, I dropped my head into the crook of her neck, basking in our complete connectedness as it seemed every part of our bodies were in contact while we breathed deeply in tandem, coming down from our mutual heights.

Later that evening I drove Bella home, having taken up the driving responsibilities after her truck died, yet again. I hated the death trap that was her mode of transportation, but she adamantly refused to give it up. Secretly though, I appreciated that her truck was out-of-operation more often than not, because it allowed me the opportunity to pick her up and drop her off like a gentlemen. I liked to open her door for her, and walk her to and from the house. I liked to stand on her front porch and kiss her goodnight while her irritated father waited in the wings to give me a compulsory scathing comment. Being in a relationship with Bella allowed me to do all of the things that I'd always wanted to do with her, but was never able to do under the rules of our arrangement.

After I dropped Bella off I was driving back home when I spotted a lone figure walking down the deserted back road that I took as a shortcut. The rain was coming down in sheets, and the night was cool. I could see his breath coming out in puffs before I could make out his features. As I neared him, it didn't take me long to recognize the figure. I pulled over to where he stood and rolled down the window.

"Alec?" I asked. His head was down, and his hands were firmly in his pockets. He slowly looked up at me and I could see that he had two black eyes and a split lip. "Geez, what the hell happened to you, man?" I asked. I pulled the door open and went to stand next to him.

"Some douche at Mike's party caught me talking to his girlfriend and he and his friends decided to kick my ass." His voice was low, and I could tell he was embarrassed by the situation. We were miles out from where he lived.

"So what's this? Were you just gonna walk home?" Alec offered a one shouldered shrug.

"I guess. The douche was my ride, so..." he let his voice trail off. As much of an idiot Alec was, I wasn't about to let him walk home in the rain by himself, half out of it from too many knocks to the head.

"Get in the car," I said, retreating back to the driver's side. He hesitated.

"Why?" he asked, nervously. I rolled my eyes, irritated, and now wet from the rain.

"Because I'm driving you home. Come on." I pulled into the car and unlocked the passenger's door. Alec hesitated another moment before conceding and making his way around the car, climbing in.

The drive was silent for a while. There was an obvious tension between us, probably because Alec was the ringleader of the Edward and Bella hate parade, and he knew I was perfectly aware of that. Once I stepped down as leader of the moron factory, he swiftly took the reigns.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, after about ten minutes of silence. I kept my eyes firmly on the road, not wanting to look at the sorry creature beside me.

"Because I'm not an asshole," I responded shortly. I didn't have a ton of patience for the guy, knowing he had been the one to sick a bunch of nasty chicks on my girlfriend. It was quiet for a moment before he responded.

"No, I guess you're not." A tense silence once again overtook the car as I turned onto his street and pulled to a stop in front of his house.

"Thanks," he mumbled. I looked at him for the first time since we started driving. His head was still downcast. He looked...humbled? Chastised? I wasn't sure.

"Uh huh," I said, eager to get his out of my car. He hesitated. "What are you waiting for?"

"Look, man. I'm sorry about all of the shit that's gone down." I let out an exasperated chuckle, but said nothing. "No, seriously. I've been a massive dick to you and Bella."

"Yea, that's putting it lightly." He nodded slowly.

"You're right. It is. And you guys didn't deserve that."

"No shit." I was quickly growing tired of his half baked apology.

"Look, I don't expect you to forgive me or anything. I don't really care if you do. I'm just telling you now, it's over dude. I'll tell them to stop. You won't hear about it again." I watched him as he spoke, trying to gage his level of sincerity. He seemed to mean what he was saying.

"I'd appreciate it," I said. He offered a curt nod.

"Alright. Good," he said, uncomfortably. With that, he undid his belt and pushed the door open. "Thanks for the ride."

"Sure." With that, he stepped out of the car and closed the door before bolting through the rain to his house. I waited a moment to make sure he got in okay, my old friendly instincts taking precedence over my constant irritation with him, before gunning the car down the street en route to home.

Much like he promised, Bella and I never heard from Alec and the rest of my old friends again. Save for a few nasty glares from a couple of the girls, they kept their distance, making life for us significantly easier.

I had found a home with Bella, Alice and Jasper, and it felt absolutely right. It was just like I had felt back when Bella and I were best friends, just hanging out, having fun and not caring what anyone thought of us. Alice and Jasper were just as easy going as we both were, which made our foursome one of the least complicated groups I could imagine in high school. It was exhilarating to be free of the drama that came with being popular.

The best part of all of it was the fact that I was able to share most of junior year and all of senior year with Bella, the way it was supposed to be. Once I lost her friendship I had assumed that I would never get it back, and that I wouldn't get to share graduation with the one person who mattered the most. Holding her hand through our graduation ceremony, and sharing a celebratory lunch with both of our families solidified for me that this was the way it had to be. Nothing else would ever be right for me if it didn't include Bella. For fear of sounding cliché, she was my one true love. It just took us a little time and a bit of a detour to finally get there.

**End**

* * *

**A/N:**I'd like to give a BIG thanks to hpnic06 for her wonderful donation, and once again I urge you to donate if you're able. The people in Haiti _need our help_. Haiti is the poorest nation in the world, and they have suffered one of the most devastating natural disasters of our time. We can help.

Anyway, I hope you all liked it! Reviews are very much appreciated.


End file.
